Lost
It’s been like 2 years since I broke up w my ex. The relationship wasn’t great and I was treated horribly and traumatized. I wasn’t the best either but I never could’ve done the things they did to me. I don’t really think abt it all too much anymore but today while scrolling thru my camera roll with friends to find old memories I stumbled upon videos and pictures of my ex that I thought I deleted. I gave in and looked them up and they’re still in a happy relationship of like a year. It all feels fresh again now. I miss someone that probably doesn’t even think about me anymore even after spending so much time together. It’s killing me deep down and even if I don’t think abt it much anymore in my heart it’s still always there. It’s gotten easier but definitely hasn’t gotten better. I’m doing things with my life like going to college and whatnot but I’ve also messed up a lot and got myself into serious trouble. I never feel like I’m doing enough or as good as other people. I hate myself to the fullest extent and I’ll never really know why. I don’t blame my ex for leaving because not even I love myself. It’s getting harder and harder everyday to fix the issues I have going on. I feel like I never make any progress. My hurt hearts so deeply and I’ll never be able to open up completely even to the people that care about me most. I’m losing my desire to change things. I’m losing the will to even care. It feels like every part of me is slowly numbing and nothing I do ever truly makes me feel happy or better. I don’t know how much longer I can feel this way.
@creativeBirch3942
🥺
It's important and vital you stop blaming yourself.
You have to stop hating yourself.
And sabotaging your own happiness.
Your ex wasnt a great partner, dont forget that.
And stop comparing yourself to others.
You deserve to be happy.
Loved.
And fulfilled.
Don't let anyone ex or anyone else dictate your worth.
Day by day, start seeing that you deserve to heal and move forward and be happy 💜💕
ABOUT
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@creativeBirch3942
all of that sounds horrible, i’m so terribly sorry that that’s something you have to go through. it may be difficult for a while but you have a community and friends near you that can support you every step of the way, and you have the community here on 7 cups. you aren’t alone in this journey, even if it’s incredibly difficult.
relationships and breakups are tough, but with time they will get better, though it may take months or years. but it will be okay in the end and if it’s not okay then it’s not the end. you’re strong enough to get past this block in the road. i know you don’t know me but i do believe in you. good luck, im rooting for you
@creativeBirch3942 I'm here with you and understand what you are going through.. I'm going through similar
Hey, how are you doing? This was posted days ago, but hopefully you allow me to comment.
It's just like how you find clothes that fits you. You don't change to fit the clothes but find clothes that suit you and actually improves your appearance.
No matter what happened between you and yur ex, that chapter of your life has closed in their book, but being reminded of those memories on your device made yu think about it all over gaain as if it was still fresh.
How we move on can be different. Different ways at different speeds, but we have to choose the same thing: to heal.
If that person truly loved you, they should have stayed despite your mess-ups and imperfections. Loving someone isn't about simply staying in a relationship. It is about being the person's shoulder to cry on, a friend, a partner, a companion, a listening ear, someone who gives sound advice, and someone who endures all those hardships with you. But they treated you differently from how yu actually wanted to be treated. You were treated badly.
And that was a bullet dodged!
I mean, if they can't love you at your worst, then they don't love you enough to endure it all for you.
Marry someone who is kind to you.
Someone who gives you basic respect and kindness. Right now you feel inadequate as if you're not enough (As if you aren't). But remember that people need to fill each other's gaps. If you are lacking something, he needs to provide that for you. You lack support? He gives you support. He lacks someone to talk to? You will be someone to talk to.
Relationships are symbiotic.
You rely on each other to provide what each other lacks. The type to stay when you are in a hospital bed, the other stays beside you to carry you to the bathroom when you're to weak to stand up and sit on the toilet. The type of person that stays with you until you both need adult diapers during old age. They need to be the type to stay when you don't have a place to sleep and don't have enough money for food so they have to be the one willing to rpovide that for you.
If they can't love you during these circumstances, then there isn't any benefit to the relationship. You both need to benefit from each other's company and existence. You don't simply say "i love you" and love bomb the other person to be convinced that the other should be forgiven. It is a much deeper and more complicated than that. Relationship requires a lot of tolerance, endurance, and willpower and self-control. It is not a joke being in one and if you can't benefit from them, you can always run the other direction. Luckily you're not married with kids because that would have been WORSE. worse for the kid.
@creativeBirch3942 Hi CreativeBirch , I am so sorry for what you have been through and feeling. As someone who has been married 3 times and yes 3 times lol .. They do not change! What you see online or wherever does not mean that is how it really is. My exes are still doing the same things they did while I was with them and that was over 31 years ago.
I remarried and have been for 31 years or more.. Trust me it is not always fun and it is a job but you can not change people because we are who we are. My first ex is still smoking pot and drinking and he lives alone. My second ex beat me and was just a horrible person and he went on the remarry and beat her too!!! They may act like they doing so great and may have someone new but that means nothing behind closed doors!
I also dated some guys that as soon as we broke up they married lol and yes made me feel bad about myself but years down the road I ran into one of them who was married and his kids standing on the front porch asked me if He could pleasure me on rainy days!!! GAG!!! Seriously! I said do you not love your wife , he said yes why.. ? I said wow you are the same exact person you were and if you really loved her why are you cheating on her!!! He even had to nerve to try and guess my weight !!! GAG !!
Trust me when I say it is not you it isn't!! We are not perfect at all ,but we are not them and we need be thankful we are not with the ones who made us feel like dirt under their shoes!
Get out live life and do the best you can and the right person will come along but first test them and see how they really are and if they do not meet your standards then RUN!
I am 60 and If I could go back in time I would have never gotten married at all! I would have stayed single and lived life and had fun! I do not regret having my son at all and now I have a grandson and an amazing daughter inlaw. I am Grateful and Thankful !
Let no man or woman define you! Work for yourself to have THE BEST LIFE!
Tye
p.s. the one he is with may have a smile on her face but inside she could be living in a misery stuck with that person! I am not friends with my ex husbands ex wife he beat her non stop!!
That is crazy you guys talking about that I have one friend she married wrong person in 3 months and after I made them together all I see was fake love and I'm looking like what is wrong here how can they put a fake front everybody and when they go home they dont realize they doing that or they don't care how they disrespected them self that's one thing I can never understand and needs more coping skill
Hi there,
You must have been endured the emptiness long enough but please know that, you are strong more than you ever think.
Things might not have been making sense lately but in time, you’ll find peace in the chaos within yourself.
You are showing up, and expressing your pain here and that is a courage that you are trying.
You got this. It is okay not to have it all figured out.
Thank you very much the maximum to know the right brain we just have to deal with it it will always be there is how we sit and relax and figure all out we are always winner and we will win forever.......✈️💯
The job of the brain never ended we me just to know the food to nutrient the brain that give us moving our daily life..