Never alone with my thoughts
I was wondering if anyone felt similarly or had advice for trying to not feeling this way?
I have a hard time feeling alone even when I’m truly 100% alone. Like, I’ll be alone in a building but I’ll still feel as if someone could be at the front door at any second even when I’m not expecting anyone. I wanted to try practicing singing recently but stopped because what if someone came by the house lol. Even in the woods I’d feel awkward doing anything weird cuz what if a hiker or someone sees me lol.
Writing down creative ideas and things like poetry or stories feels hard too because I sometimes have cringe or dark ideas that I don’t up exploring because the thought pops into my head of ‘what if someone I know hacked me somehow and is watching everything I do’. I know I’m not important enough where someone would do that lol, I know it’s an irrational thought, but my mind always thinks like that for some reason.
I started thinking about this tonight because I wanted to try to write some poetry, and I realized it could be cringe and I didn’t want to write it online cuz what if someone was hacking me and found it, and I didn’t want to write it on paper because what if someone came over and found it, and I realized I do this a lot and it’s not good for creative expression to just keep everything in my head and not put anything into reality.
I guess TLDR; I feel like I’m always being watched in some way, and I don’t trust putting my thoughts/ideas on paper or digital.
These might be a more niche problems, but has anyone felt similarly? Or does anyone have any advice? I have social anxiety so I guess this stems from that but it’d be nice to figure out a way to get over it lol.
@AnarchyFox
I get what you mean about being alone and the hiker in the woods did make me laugh 😂
I too listen to music and craft and write poetry
Poetry allows feelings to flow, rather than everything being just hard, and intense all the time 💖

@AnarchyFox Hello,
Thank you for sharing openly; it takes courage to put feelings into words. The sense of being watched alone and hesitation to express creatively are common. Social anxiety can feed these thoughts, making it limiting to sing, write, or explore ideas freely.
You're right that these thoughts seem irrational, but they influence your choices. It doesn't mean you're broken; your mind tries to protect you, even if it feels restrictive. Recognizing this pattern is a strong first step.
Start small: write a line, hum softly, or jot a safe idea. Over time, these acts build trust in your thoughts and creativity outside your head.
You're not alone. Many feel the tension between creativity and fear of exposure. Sharing shows your voice matters, and you deserve freedom to express yourself without fear.
Hey hi @AnarchyFox 💞
I just want to say first, you’re not strange or broken for feeling this way. Reading your post honestly made me pause because it hit too close to home.
Idk why you completely wrote what I’m feeling tho. Most of the things you said totally resonate with me. I’ve felt this same way since my teenage years, I feel exactly what you’re describing, buddy.
For me,
That constant “what if someone watcing me now?” loop.
That hesitation to sing, write, or create because it feels like you’re being observed.
That fear of your private thoughts becoming exposed, judged, or misunderstood even when you know it’s irrational.
It sounds simple on the surface, but living with it is exhausting. I’ve always felt awkward sharing this with anyone because it feels… embarrassing? Hard to explain without sounding paranoid, even though you know it’s anxiety.
That thought became extreme for me as a teenager and honestly ruined a lot of things I could’ve enjoyed back then and now. I didn’t really “solve” it, I just survived it. Somehow, over time, I managed, and now at least I don’t feel scared all the time lol.
You’re absolutely right though, this kind of mindset kills creative expression. Creativity needs privacy, messiness, and permission to be cringe. Anxiety doesn’t allow that. It tries to keep you “safe” by keeping you small.
One thing that helped me a bit (not perfectly) was reminding myself:
thoughts aren’t actions, and creations don’t need witnesses.
Sometimes I’d write with the intention of destroying it later. Or write nonsense on purpose. Or keep things locked, hidden, or unnamed, just to teach my brain that nothing bad actually happened when I expressed myself.
I’m also dealing with extreme social anxiety, so I really get where you’re coming from. You’re not alone in this, even if it feels isolating as ***. I genuinely hope we both ease up with time and little by little, take back the right to exist, think, and create without fear.
Thanks for putting this into words. It helped me feel less isolated.
Hope things will get better soon 🌸
Sending lots of love and support 💜
Hugs*🤗 💞
@AnarchyFox I made a poem if that's okay with you I am going to share it with you, Mirror , Mirror on the wall, made by me
Mirror, Mirror on the wall, A poem by me, I stare at myself in the mirror... Who is she?..., I don't know her..., But people know her as Kaylee..., Shes a fire cracker. But that's not me, Im no fire cracker..., Im a unstable, mentally broken girl... Broken... that word. It replays in my head over and over like a record player. Im broken, not fixable, I try to smile and think of the best solution. How? I ask myself, am I okay... no.. I hate myself, my looks, my voice, everything, I wanna replace it. Im fighting a war that will never end, and nobody notices. I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. So mirror mirror on the wall am I even pretty at all? all the girl compliment me. but in reality it doesn't suit me... I don't get it maybe the mirrors right, Im not pretty not even a little bit, not even at all, not even a slight..
@AnarchyFox
i completely get youuu, do you also, like, kind of "think freely" because you fear (irrationaly) that there might be a mind reader just judging you ? (even though it's everything but probable)
Yooooo, lmao, YES!!! A few years ago I had this pretty bad lol. It was moreso in public places with other people. I was more depressed back then, so that may have had something to do with it.
Thankfully I got over it, although every now and then the thought pops back into my head, but I forget about it after a sec.