Not sure how to be a person in society..

@manilafilefolder i relate a lot, i am not in any sort of relationship, but i did lose my job without even starting it 2 years ago, and pretty much exactly the same things you mentioned i've experienced all of those, along with screen addiction, porn addiction, symptoms of depression, social anxiety, panic/anxiety attacks, zero self-esteem, zero self-worth, zero confidence, given up many times, passive suicidal thoughts, feels like it'll never get better ever. 

trying to open up anonymously with strangers here on 7cups, calling crisis helplines when i need, doing this guided meditation https://youtu.be/6n0k0qggM-U?si=ggyKM50z8MSe9AEX, JOURNALING, Gratitude Journaling, are some things that helped me.

Also,

Not being an expert but,

One thing you can do to slowly get rid of your "bad" habits is the "ease of access" to the things related to it. 

For example last night I put my phone, laptop, earphones, etc in another room because I was addicted to them. 

Instead I put shoes and socks at place where I could see them easily so that whenever I wake up I can't find the screens instead I find the shoes and maybe go for a walk.


I hope you slowly and surely work on yourself, I'm trying too, I hope things get better for you and anyone in a similar situation. I am not a listener here but would love to get in touch with you if possible.

@manilafilefolder

I think it is a defensive measure to have a sort of grief over a job loss or setback in our lives. many take some time.... but if you although it it grows to what you describe, not wanting to get out at all and isolating.   It is safe and your  own thoughts in your world no one to challenge you and no chance of rejection in finding another job etc.   

While it is nice to have a friend / relationship online it is a safe zone to only share what you want and get unconditional support.  Maybe it is time you venture out of your room and connect with family / friends and find a new job.... if you were to go meet your online person it would require travel and costs maybe make that you focus to get back to moving forward. 

@manilafilefolder@manilafilefolder

I understand how you feel. I was shocked reading this because it describes me as well, except for the part about meeting-we met three times, but haven’t seen each other in two years. It feels like I’m living the same day over and over again.I dont wanna rot here but I dont know how to make it fine. If you ever want to talk about it, feel free to DM me

@manilafilefolder thank you for your honesty, it takes alot of courage to be open. It seems impossible now and overwhelming because change is, we can cling to habits like comfort blankets because that is what we know. It's important to start small but be consistent, to see growth and build confidence and not get overwhelmed. You could start by leaving your room each day for a shower. Then reopening communication with family, getting out, getting exercise, doing all this to find yourself again, before you think of a job. You have an online relationship that's great but you will never progress it until you are happier in you and you are living a life you are proud of, time slips by pretty fast, the first steps are the hardest but you just need to start. I'm genuinely wishing you the best and remember you have only one life and you deserve to live it 🥰

@manilafilefolder Hi! I see that you feel like to want to feel more comfortable leaving the housing and finding your groove again. I can really relate to that. What are some ways you believe you can take steps in the direction you want? I would love to chat some more. I believe in you!

This is relatedable, I also lost my job two weeks now but I will be everything positive, I don't think I will survive for two years without a job, it's tirely and frustrating