Scared of the person I've become...
I was a mistake, I don't belong, no one cares, I don't matter. These thoughts are the things that constantly annoy me. No reprieve and no relief. Everything is so confusing and I'm so overwhelmed. Don't know why I'm here. I'm so tired of everything. I can't do this anymore. I've tried to be strong but everyday is a struggle. I don't know what I'm doing don't even know what wrong with me. I hide how I feel and bury everything. People always tell me I shouldn't bottle up how I feel but it's the only thing I know how to do. Every time I let people into my life and open up I end up being the one to get hurt. I hate myself and I hate my life. I don't even know whats wrong with me, something is wrong but I don't know what it is. I find myself looking for answers only to end up more and more confused. Everything is so tangled. My life sucks and yet I continue to hide because I'm scared. Because I'm scared of being hurt again. I can't do this anymore. I lie awake some nights scared to fall asleep because once I wake up I'll be one step closer to completing my transformation. Don't even know why I'm writing this, but I did it anyways.
You DO belong. I care. <3
@IzzyGamer Nothing is wrong with you. I used to internalize other ppls opinion's of me too but most of the time they just want to bring you down. Get a journal to list your feelings or if you want list them here when you feel like no one is listening. You have something to say and there's a plan for your life. Jesus created yyou just as you are, you're not a mistake.
How do i post here?
You mean like a new thread?
Thanks buddy, i learned about that last night
Izzy, I LOVE your new pfp btw <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
ty ty (:
Us bro us
I like this i was feeling like this i understand
Same...
Trust me you're not alone, I’m feeling the same way too
I think I understand what you're saying about opening up and getting more hurt .. bottling up isnt healthy but showing your hurt doesn't always invite love.... what is working for me is feeling confident about my own emotions and sharing with people 'anyway'. Like im not looking for validation, Im just looking for some kind of exchange where maybe people can add to my knowledge or relate to me. That kind of exchange is healing. And it doesn't hurt because you have your confidence backing you up incase you are opposed in any way. Life has been surprising. There is a lot of kindness in the world. Once you lower your expectations and understand that no one can realistically help anyone out because of their own human limitations, it makes you appreciate people so much more when they take time to listen to you, offer some tip, etc. It's touching.
Also when you want to go completely unfiltered with your thoughts - you can speak to your diaries. I do that. They never shut the doors on me.
If you want to do a pen pal thread, I'm in, I'd be happy to listen to some of the things affecting you so deeply. Your emotions are valid. 💛✨️
@IzzyGamer
@Creamyyy
I know bottling up how I feel isn't great, and things have only gotten worse since I have done that, but its the only thing ik how to do. I'm scared to talk to people for a lot of different reasons.
thanks for the offer, maybe I'll create the pen pal later.
@IzzyGamer
The only thing we can do is try the best we can in any given moment.
If there is anything wrong with us, it is that we judge ourselves and each other too harshly.
And I’m glad you decided to write this. Thank you.