Sexual abuse.
Tw: Sexual abuse/Sibling sexual abuse
"What happens in our house stays in our house."
Those words were drilled into me like scripture.
My parents whispered them in warning,
like keeping secrets was love.
like silence was safety.
They still say it.
I’m 22 now.
But I see it clearly for what it is:
It was never about protecting me.
It was always about protecting him.
Protecting the image.
Protecting the lie.
They don’t want the world to know what he did.
That their son
their golden boy
could do something so vile.
So of course they want me quiet.
Of course they want the story buried.
But how do I heal
when my silence is the price of their comfort?
How do I breathe
when I’m suffocating on words I’m not allowed to say?
“He’s changed,” they tell me,
as if healing is a straight line
and trauma just disappears with time.
But what he did doesn't go away.
Not for me.
He walks free
no scars, no guilt, no punishment.
And me?
I live with the flashbacks.
The nightmares.
The shaking hands and the tight chest
every time I hear his voice.
Every time I’m forced to smile through panic
just to keep the peace.
Just to be the “good daughter.”
I pretend.
I hold it in.
I wait until I’m alone
and then I break.
Sobbing on the floor,
wondering if I’ll ever feel whole again.
Because my parents
they’ll do anything to protect their son.
But me?
The daughter who was hurt?
The girl who carries the weight of what he did?
Do I matter at all?
@Lindsey103 I'm not going to say that I'm sorry for what you went through, because it should have never happened in the first place. I'm in the same boat as you, but what you had to go through can never be questioned or compared. I know it hurts. It always does, when the very people who should have protected you throw your safety away, like you never mattered. But let me tell you the truth, as one soul to another, you're the one who matters the most. After all that has happened, no words, no punishment can remove that scar from your heart, but please know that there are people out in the world who value you, and that you do matter.
You matter the most. 💗
I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through. Nobody deserves to go through that and I can't imagine the kind of pain that you're in.
Your parents should not be protecting your brother at your expense. Any person deserves so much better than that, and I hope you know that you are so strong, beautiful, kind, and amazing.
Love you so much,
Sana
I hope you have a wonderful day today!