Sexual abuse.
Tw: Sexual abuse/Sibling sexual abuse
"What happens in our house stays in our house."
Those words were drilled into me like scripture.
My parents whispered them in warning,
like keeping secrets was love.
like silence was safety.
They still say it.
I’m 22 now.
But I see it clearly for what it is:
It was never about protecting me.
It was always about protecting him.
Protecting the image.
Protecting the lie.
They don’t want the world to know what he did.
That their son
their golden boy
could do something so vile.
So of course they want me quiet.
Of course they want the story buried.
But how do I heal
when my silence is the price of their comfort?
How do I breathe
when I’m suffocating on words I’m not allowed to say?
“He’s changed,” they tell me,
as if healing is a straight line
and trauma just disappears with time.
But what he did doesn't go away.
Not for me.
He walks free
no scars, no guilt, no punishment.
And me?
I live with the flashbacks.
The nightmares.
The shaking hands and the tight chest
every time I hear his voice.
Every time I’m forced to smile through panic
just to keep the peace.
Just to be the “good daughter.”
I pretend.
I hold it in.
I wait until I’m alone
and then I break.
Sobbing on the floor,
wondering if I’ll ever feel whole again.
Because my parents
they’ll do anything to protect their son.
But me?
The daughter who was hurt?
The girl who carries the weight of what he did?
Do I matter at all?
@Lindsey103
I’m really sorry you’ve had to carry this alone. What your brother did was wrong, and none of it was your fault. I hear how suffocating the silence feels. You deserve to tell your story and be believed.
If talking to your family is not safe, consider sharing with someone outside that circle—a close friend, a counselor, or a survivor hotline. Even letting a small part out can make breathing easier.
When flashbacks hit, try grounding yourself. Press your feet into the floor, notice a few things you can see or hear, and breathe in for four counts and out for six. It will not erase the past, but it can help your body remember you are in the present.
You matter, and your healing matters. I am here to listen whenever you want to talk more.
Thank you for replying to me I do appreciate it ❤️ I am looking into getting a counselor it's just taking some time. Thank you for the advice for when I have flashbacks I'll definitely give grounding a try!
@Zaxoosh
Thank you for replying to me I do appreciate it ❤️ I am looking into getting a counselor it's just taking some time. Thank you for the advice for when I have flashbacks I'll definitely give grounding a try!
Im so sorry. 😞
I hope you find safety again..
I definitely understand and feel you.
What happened to you was wrong. You are not at fault. Never let it impact your self worth.
@Lindsey103
@Creamyyy
Thank you so much <3
@Lindsey103
you are NOT alone
i used to hate when people would tell me that but it is true.my family was similar they protected him rather than the little girl who was the youngest in the house but suffered every night .i thought i didnt matter sometimes i still feel that way. BUT we victims are not alone we should stick together because we are the only people who know true pain and understand what love doesnt feel like that is why we need to love one another and support one another.
Im sorry you had to go through this but you need to know you DO matter you are WORTH to have the feeling of comfort and safety you deserve to have
sending love and support your way 🫂🫂🫂🫂💞💞💓💓
@tryinglittleaudrey
I appreciate you for commenting and letting me know I'm not alone ❤️ I hate that you went through such similar things...things you didn't deserve I hate that your family didn't protect you from such harm I know how that feels and it's so unfair thank you for your love and support❤️
@Lindsey103
It is so sad I'm sorry for all these you experienced:( it must be very hard and the problem not being accepted by close ones is so irritating🫂🫂 Hug you tightly🫂🫂🫂💗💗 I'm glad you are older now and that you did continue till now it's so brave of you💙 I wish you very very bests🫂
I’m so sorry :( Lindsey I’m so sorry
Yes you matter. It was not your fault. You are loved
I am so sorry you went through that. My dad sexually abused me for 6 years. I grew up with anxiety and depression. I have learned to manage the anxiety. My dad went to jail for what he did, but to this day he's only sorry he got caught and denies the duration and extent of abuse.
Yes you matter I am sorry you went through this and continue to be told don't talk about it they don't understand your pain.
Yes you matter so much. Thanks for sharing. Sorry for your hurt and pain. I hope you find your way
There are no words to describe how sorry I am that you went through this. And no words to describe my disgust at your parents for protecting him at your expense.
You should never have had to go through any of that. And I pray that at some point you can escape and cut all ties with him and your parents. That will not undo what you’ve gone through, but you should definitely not have to continue to have contact with a vile person who did that and the disgusting people who covered it up. Get as far away as you can as soon as is realistically possible
I send you Strength ❤️🩹
