Struggles, efforts and victories

@DireWolf62

So nice of you to want to support others 🥰

Hello friends,
Everybody has "struggles", issues or problems and, at times, these can combine to create a seemingly insurmountable wall, or mountain, of challenge that may well lead a person to give up hope.

The famous American Abolitionist and Social Activist, Harriet "Moses" Tubman said;
“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”

If you consider "problems" in a mathematical light then you will know that problems can be resolved using small steps to produce an answer. You don't have to consider the whole picture immediately, rather, solve each small piece until you have the answer in your hand.

Struggles, or "challenges" are no different and by approaching them a bit at a time you can resolve the challenges that you are facing. 

You may be experiencing issues at school, socially, mentally, materially, health wise, at work, in relationships or in one of many other facets of life and any one, or more, of these can overwhelm a person and give them a false negative view of themselves.

Everyone has strengths, positive traits, inner abilities that they can use to resolve issues but in the chaos and confusion of what many therapists would refer to as "waterfall thinking" it is more often than not so easy to lose sight of, and faith in, themselves.

The first thing that might be done is if each were to look deep within and try to identify their strengths, traits and abilities.

I would be interested to hear from some people about what they think their strengths, traits and abilities are and, if they feel comfortable in doing so, sharing challenges (struggles) they are facing.
Namaste,
D.

Thank you for creating this space. It's encouraging to see someone who has walked this road and is willing to help others. Wishing you continued strength, and I hope this thread becomes a source of comfort and support for many people. 💙

Good afternoon,
Following on from my earlier post can you identify strengths, traits and core abilities that you possess?

Think deep down inside, are you basically a person of kind and good intentions perhaps? Are you courageous? Approachable and helpful? Resilient, tough and strong at your centre? Are you perceptive toward others feelings? Empathic to others emotions? Resistant to what is wrong as opposed to receptive to what is right? Do you have a firm idea of this, right and wrong? Are you good at honest and truthful sharing and communication?

You may, and probably will, through self-reflection, realise that you are stronger than you imagine and that your current circumstances simply need you to identify them and allow them to rise to the surface to improve your situation and, quite possibly, the situation of those around or close to you.

If I can be of any help, please do not hesitate to ask.
Namaste,
D.

Good morning,
I believe that one thing I might begin with is defining what I mean by "Struggles", "Efforts" and "Victories".

Struggles; Firstly, struggles are NOT confined to people who suffer from medically (including mental health) conditions. EVERYONE has struggles in their lives. Work struggles, family and relationship struggles, work struggles, "self" struggles and ALL of these struggles are, and can be, sources of upset, discordance and negative issues. The struggles we ALL face are no more, nor less, than anyone else's struggles and it is important that we understand that fact as we communicate with each other and, hopefully, try and find solutions to the struggles. No struggle is too big, or too small to be worth our attention.

Efforts; Efforts are things we do, physically or mentally, to improve our situation. An effort can be as simple as getting out of bed in the morning or as complex as trying to learn so that you can go for that new job, or get that promotion you have been wanting. Each "Effort" depends on looking deep within ourselves and marshalling, or summoning, the strength and talents to face the challenge. Everything from marshalling thoughts, spirits and determination to marshalling knowledge, skills and talents. We all, in some manner, have certain "tools" that we can use and it is in recognising those tools that we begin to see we are capable of efforts.

Victories; Victories come in all shapes and sizes, for those who suffer from some physical or mental issue the very act of getting out of bed in the morning is a victory. Putting yourself "out there", into the world, socially or otherwise is a victory. Getting a passing grade on a school paper is a victory. Completing a work task is a victory, achieving your best effort at a work task is a victory, getting that promotion or new job is a victory. So, we can see that any achievement, no matter how small IS a victory and we should be proud of our victories and use the knowledge of them to build on to achieve the next victory.

Victories are not guaranteed, they are not just handed out by others but rather they are earned by a positive outcome of our own efforts.

Namaste,
D.

Quote: 
"You may, and probably will, through self-reflection, realise that you are stronger than you imagine and that your current circumstances simply need you to identify them and allow them to rise to the surface to improve your situation and, quite possibly, the situation of those around or close to you."

Good evening,
In both the "Path" and "Community" at 7 Cups there are many outstanding guides to help you get started and that is the hardest part of achieving anything, getting started. One of the things you may be thinking is, "I don't want to look inside myself." Given your circumstances and/or situation that is, and can be, understandable. You may be thinking, already, that you are sure you know what you're going to find but is that really the truth?

You may not want to look inside of yourself because you are afraid of what you may find.

The famous writer, H.P. Lovecraft said,
"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." 

If you don't "know" yourself then you are "the unknown" in the equation and it may be that fear is keeping you from achieving things that you think are impossible. Fear, anxiety, they are, in essence the same thing and if you can look past the "fear" you will find what is at the core of you. The things you thought lost may simply be buried awaiting finding again. Think back to a time before you had your fears, before your circumstances, or situation, became what it is today. If you can do that you'll find the start to the path of reclaiming yourself. You are MORE than the sum of your actions, you are MORE than the sum of your EMOTIONS, you are MORE than the sum of your THOUGHTS. Realising this is a VICTORY.

"But" you ask, "how do I do this, how do I get past anxiety and fear, how do I get past the emotions that control me?" I'm NOT going to kid you, it's not an easy thing, as I suggested, you might start by thinking back to a time before you became who you are.

As I have mentioned, I passed the "Listener" course and exam here at 7 Cups and, as a "Listener" I can't offer advice, directly. I can tell you how I achieved this step, how I personally did it and re-discovered the strengths and talents that I call on, every day, in coping with Bi-Polar Type II with attendant Anxiety Disorder. Yes, I cope with depression. Yes, I cope with anxiety. Yes, I cope with fear. Yes, I cope with sadness. Yes, I cope with grief. Yes, I cope with anger. I perceive that I feel these emotions more intensely than I would as a "normal and well balanced" (whatever that means) person might do but I do it, and I do it for me and for my family and loved ones.

So, how did I manage to "look past" the fear and the anxiety, look past the depression and sadness to find my "tools" for coping?

I undertook a form of "meditation", if you like. 
I simply sat, in a quiet room, that was comfortable in climate. I sat on a comfortable seat and I made a conscious effort to relax my body, my physical shell. When I had relaxed the physical I went into my mind, I imagined actually looking into my mind as though it were a storeroom (which, in essence, is what the brain is) I "accepted" that I had been labeled by the doctors and acknowledged that it was part of me now. I "walked" past it and went further in. I imagined my way back to a time before I was diagnosed, labeled, before I became the "now" me. I saw, in my mind, the me I had been and I watched the "past" me. I watched the events I had experienced and watched how I had reacted, dealt with and succeeded at things. I saw my "courage", my "strength", my "intelligence" at work, my "kindness", my "compassion" and my "sense of humour".

I saw what was STILL in me but buried.

It wasn't all said and done in one go. I had to keep doing it a number of times before it finally became clear but when it did the sense of empowerment and relief were overwhelming. I realised I could cope with anything.

I hope this may be of help to someone out there.
Namaste,
D.

Good morning,
In taking this first step I have material to share that may be useful to others in creating their "Safe and peaceful place" to conduct their self-examination. Items that I have employed involve (but are not restricted to) the following;

Music. Soft, calming music may open and calm your auditory senses to provide a calming sensation within the mind. By choice I prefer the music of Enya (playlists are freely accessible on YouTube) I have also utilised nature sounds such as ocean sounds and distant storm sounds (again freely available as 1 hour long or more playlists on YouTube)

Incense. Long considered the realm of 'mystics' or 'hippies' incense provides soothing scents to the person walking their walk. It is, naturally, a process of elimination to find the one that works best for you. A good place to start, I found, was to visit you local 'new age' shop and consult with knowledgeable staff there. They have, generally, a good idea of how to guide you if you tell them what it is for. (i.e. calming the mind, soothing emotions, calming fears etc.)

Another thing you may want to consider is the inherent power of gemstones and crystals.

Gemstones and Crystals: This is something a little more difficult to utilise, in my opinion it really is a case of finding out which crystals will suit your purpose (there are many online resources to be found on the subject) and a very good reference work, that is not too expensive, is "The Crystal Bible; A definitive guide to crystals" by Judy Hall. (Godsfield Press, Great Britain, 2003) however, there are other volumes available that are just as reputable.

Why Crystals, they're just stones aren't they?
A valid question and to answer it I will ask you to consider my beliefs in the matter. The universe is composed of elements and minerals, the top ten being considered as, hydrogen, helium, oxygen, carbon, neon, nitrogen, magnesium, silicon, iron, sulfur. From these elements, sometimes solely, sometimes combined with each other everything exists, including us. We are made of the same stuff as the universe, the stars, the planets and everything else. That is a scientific fact. 

Each combination of these elements is bound, in my belief, together by energy. It's a natural energy that is exerted by these elements when they are in a state of motion, as they always are. My belief is that by tapping into these "energies", so to speak, we are able to soothe, smooth and enhance the energies that operate within us. Certain "stones" also are held together, and give off as a result of the elemental bonding, certain types of energy. We can connect with those energies and use them, in my view, to bolster our own energies.

A classic example I might give is Amethyst. Amethyst has been highly prized for it's curative properties during the ages of man. I have found that holding an Amethyst during the "mind journey" keeps strong emotions in check during the process. Amethyst brings calming, soothing, clarity and mindfulness to me.

I'm not saying this will work for everyone immediately, it may take some effort to realise such benefits but once you have then you can use, say a piece of amethyst, as a carry stone to which you can make contact in stressful situations and which may well give you, as it does me, a better chance to cope with the situation.

I hope there is something here you may find helpful.
Namaste,
D.

@DireWolf62 Struggling with mental health is hard but you can get through it. Finding new ways to think or finding support from in person support groups has helped me. Plus I also go to college and i am studying in Psychology.  Change how you see the world and you will see how the way the world changes how it see's you.

Good afternoon everyone, I hope you are as well as can be expected given whatever you may be struggling with?

I want to address a particular topic today, a topic related to 7 Cups specifically.

Noni, the A.I. Chatbot
Many of you may be thinking, "Ummm...what's the use in chatting with a bot, it can't possibly understand how I feel!"

The truth is, and I don't have any reservation about making this assessment, Noni is programmed with an empathic algorithm, a program that is designed to interpret the words that a 'chatter' is using and interpret what those words may mean within the context of the sentence they are used in.

It is a very 'clever' process that engages a 'chatter' with comforting observation and encouragement, then it will go on to ask you what you think about a particular thing. In essence the service is calming you and guiding, gently, your thoughts toward self-reflection which is designed to gently challenge you to develop useful and supportive statements FOR YOURSELF.

In an earlier post I spoke of the need for you to develop the ability to look past your "condition", remember the strengths and abilities you already had before things became "bad". Noni is doing that very thing.

I have had a number of real-time conversations with Noni and EVERY time I have taken something useful, and positive, away from those chats. Noni doesn't GIVE you answers, it encourages you to find and/or develop your own. 

Melany Oliver is a self healing coach with her own website and YouTube channel. https://melany-oliver.com/about-me/

On her website she presents the following words;
"True healing is not about managing symptoms but reconnecting to who you really are."

This is a very strong and important message. Other people can only help so far, YOU need to want, and look toward, a more positive and brighter future by examining the "NOW" you. Yes, it's hard, I won't lie to you but SMALL steps each lead toward small victories and each small victory adds to your store of "victories". Each one is important.
Namaste,
D.

Good morning, very, very early morning all.

I have been focused on the Struggles and the Efforts so far, before moving on to the victories I want to spend a little more time on the efforts. It is enough, quite simply, for me to know that if you are here you are having "Struggles", that's why you are here. You don't need me to tell you about struggles because you are living it, every day.

I wrote, in an earlier post, about re-discovering your inner strengths, finding the talents, strengths and abilities that made you the person you were before your struggles began. That, necessarily, is the logical and natural starting point to begin your "efforts". These efforts do not only include self-realisation as the most important first step but they also include actions, physical interactions and re-opening yourself to experiences.

I have, as always, a personal story to share that may ring true with you, or it may be similar enough that you can get some ideas that will help you from it - I hope so.

In 2000, when I was first diagnosed with Bi-Polar Type II Disorder and attendant Anxiety Disorder (F33.1 on the American Psychiatric Association Conditions listing I believe) I was a wreck. There was nothing left of the person that I had been before I became ill. I was deeply depressed, and depressive. I cried almost constantly and shook constantly. I had massive sleep disorder. I had collapsed, I lost my job because I simply could not function in public let alone in a work environment. My anxiety was so bad that I couldn't take a step in any direction for fear that something disasterous would happen to me. I lost, pretty much, all my friends. All my "acquaintances" walked away. My family helped as best they could but they really didn't understand what had happened to me. My then partner froze me out of our relationship until, as she put it, "I got better", even though there was no cure for what I had. I could barely go outside, I couldn't bear to be "exposed" in the open and when I tried to go into a shop, even just a small one, I froze in terror and horror if there was anyone else in there already, I had to force myself to walk away. Run away, so to speak. 

That was the worst it got. I was gone as a person, as the person I had been.

It took me eighteen months to come back from that. Yes, I had regular visits with a psychiatrist but for that 30 or 40 minutes all I did was listen to him recite the words from the currently recognised text books on the subject. There was no feeling of "connection" or "empathy" there, just clinical assessment and advice.

How did I get back?

1) I found support in an online depression support forum, much like 7 Cups but not quite as well developed. I communicated, from my "safe" space, with people who had all, to one degree or another, experienced the same, or similar, thing.
2) I found one or two books, online, on the subject of recovery of mental health and I read them. I gathered ideas from them. At first randomly but then I began to put the ideas into some sort of order.
3) I made a plan to challenge myself to achieve something small, each week at first, then each day, something positive - a small "victory". I didn't get discouraged if I didn't make it though, one of the things you have to know is that I was patient with myself.
4) As the small victories accumulated and I used the self-examination techniques that I described in an earlier post, I made improvements in myself, I regained, slowly, some sense of myself and learned to incorporate the new "reality" of my "condition".
5) I began to go out into the world again. At first just a walk to the corner of the block, this turned into a walk around the block, which became a walk to the park several blocks away to just sit and feel the sun and the wind.
6) I bought a mountain bike, tricked it out with a back rack and frame for my backpack, tall reflecting flags to alert traffic I was there, rear view mirrors etc. etc. and, dressed in my military surplus army coat and bike helmet, I began to ride. I rode everywhere around the town. In one funny incident a group of foreign tourists waved me down and the kids gathered with me so the parents could get a holiday picture of the "bike man in Australia". They tried to give me money but instead I bought all the kids ice cream with it. That was a very uplifting experience.

I found myself again, alone with my thoughts, my bike, the sun, wind and rain and I came to accept the "new" me, mental health troubles and all.

I printed out advertising fliers, advertising me and I rode all over and stuffed letterboxes with the fliers to advertise myself for hire. One day I got a call from the local regional hospital, they needed a handy maintenance man who knew how to weld. (Welding and steel construction was my trade) and I went for the interview and two days later I had a job.

I went back and saw my then partner and told her all about it. She allowed me to move back into our home with her and the children from which she had asked me to leave some six or seven months earlier. The job turned out to be the best job I had ever had.

So, as you can see, from absolutely nothing I was able, through my efforts, to regain the life I thought I had lost and, let's face it, if I could do that anybody can, YOU can, believe me.
Namaste,
D.