Struggles, efforts and victories

Good afternoon all followers and visitors, welcome, glad to have you here.

So, "Struggles", "Efforts" but what are the "Victories", where are they? When do you get them? What makes them so special?

All good questions, let's look at "Victories"

The Cambridge English Dictionary defines "Victory" as;

When we have a situation, condition or circumstances that causes us to struggle we have to put some effort in to either a) avoid the situation, b) control the situation or c) solve/resolve the situation. If we don't then the "situation" WILL control us. It will drag us down/along with it until we feel trapped, suffocated and/or afraid and anxious. The first step in taking control back is the re-discovery of who we WERE, the person we were before the situation took control.

Let's look at my take on an example;

When I "lost" ME in 2000 I felt as though I had nothing, nowhere to go, no one to help me, no one who cared in a world that was out to get me. I built my own "support" framework as I have described in previous posts here.

Within that support framework I was able to comfortably challenge myself to achieve very small, positive steps by looking at my new weaknesses and finding new ways to counter them. The first step was "acceptance" of my new situation, the "new me", my new limitations and obstacles. 

Next I looked at the obstacles. Obstacles like not being able to go out in public, obstacles like being unable to order my thoughts, like thinking I had no one who cared. I began to challenge my limitations in very small ways. Going out in public, I went to the door of the house and watched other people through it - nothing terrible happened to them. The next step was sitting outside the door, feeling the sun and breeze and watching people - still nothing terrible happened to them, nor to me. I was OUTSIDE, in public. A VICTORY.

That is an example of a tiny step, something that other people took for granted but was, initially, entirely beyond me.

Patience is a key element of this process, don't be impatient with yourself and, if on another day you seriously can't "sit outside the door watching other people" don't pressure yourself to do it. Wait until you feel comfortable with it again and go for it. ANOTHER VICTORY to add to your other one and from this you will see that you CAN take back control.

Namaste,
D.

 

@DireWolf62 🐾💗🥰

Okay, today I want to touch on a subject that came up, prominently, in the awesome "Sharing Circle" we experienced very early this morning.

Medications

I know that a great many of you are on prescription medications for a range of issues and conditions of the mind. The first thing, I think, we NEED to recognise is that not all medications work the same way for everybody. For some the benefits can be very therapeutic, for some the side effects can outweigh the benefits and for some the whole thing might be a disaster.

I'll give you a personal example;
I am on a low dose Alprazolam for generalised anxiety, for strong anxiety episodes that is backed up with a low dose QuetApine. That combination works for me and most of the time I don't go there unless I really need it.

By contrast, I was in hospital, an in-patient, on one occasion and somebody thought a nice big shot of Lithium would make me feel better. All it did was turn me into an un-focused, shambling, dribbling zombie that went around walking into walls and colliding with furniture. They didn't do that again.

Medications may help you, your Doctor/Psych will know what's best to try given the symptoms you are experiencing but it doesn't always work out as well as they hope. DON'T BE AFRAID TO TELL YOUR DOCTORS IF YOU FEEL LIKE C**P WHEN YOU TAKE THE MEDS. CLEAR AND HONEST COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR PROFESSIONAL TREATMENT TEAM IS THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT BEING OVER/UNDER OR MIS - MEDICATED.

"So", you ask, "what can I do about my medication?"

Learn about your meds, read up on them, the expected benefits, the possible side effects and watch for any signs of the side effects (especially the bad ones) In short, educate yourself, be pro-active in your treatment, don't just "drink the koolaid!".

Medications ARE supposed to improve your condition and your quality of life. If they do, great, fantastic! If they don't, get them changed by your healthcare professionals.

PLEASE: Take care with any medication you take and PLEASE don't "self medicate" - by that I mean don't get to thinking, "Well, one makes me feel good so two would be better right?" - OVERDOSES happen that way.

I wish you luck and good journey in your healing process.
Namaste,
D.

Good evening,
I have something VERY special I want to share with you. It is a tale from my friend Batrick, it shows how one person managed to cope and turn their life around despite their challenges. It is heartwarming and inspiring and I hope he doesn't mind me bringing it here for everyone following.

Quote:
"Hi D, its your South Australian mate here. I just wanted to thank you again for such a pleasant conversation yesterday. I figured I'd drop by your thread and tell you a bit more about myself.

I'm 48, born and raised in a rural city. Married to my high school sweetheart going on 25 years. I used to play guitar and sing in a number of bands. About 20 years ago, I experienced a mental breakdown as a result of workplace bullying. That is the event that turned my life upside down.

My very first psychologist suggested that I'd make a good youth worker as I have a strong sense of social justice and I tend to advocate and stand up for people. I remember saying to her "Yeah right, look at me - I'm crying in a therapists office! Nobody would see me in a position mentoring kids". But, she planted a seed. And over the next few years, I became a qualified Youth Worker amd got my diploma in counselling. I've now worked in a high school for about 15 years as their primary case worker.

It feels weird that an empath living with Generalised Anxiety, depression, health anxiety would also be a counsellor. Like a morbidly obese person working as a body builder. But the training has at least helped me to understand the theory behind some of the strategies my psychologists taught me. And my experience has given me the opportunity to try out many different strategies and resources that I can now pass onto the young adults that I work with.

One of the big turning points for me was as I was walking along a beach thinking to myself "Why is it that I keep falling into these dark holes? WTF is wrong with me?" when I had some sort of epiphany. I stopped and said out loud "Look at it this way: no matter how many times you get stuck in sorrow, you still somehow manage to claw your way back to the land of the living".

A couple of years ago, I was feeling super burned out at work. Even though I know that I'm good at my job, I was feeling completely uninspired. Out of the blue, I got a message from a student that I'd supported while they were still at school. We met up for a coffee, and she pulled out a handwritten letter I'd given her at graduation. She read a line from it that resonated with her, then rolled up her sleeve to reveal a tattoo of the words - in my handwriting! She'd even purposely kept a spelling mistake that I'd made.

The very next week, another graduating student gave me a letter that said how she had plans to end her life on a certain date, but in a last ditch attempt at survival, made an appointment to see me earlier in the day. She said that whatever I'd told her at that meeting convinced her to stay alive. She's now training to be a disability support worker.

On the flip side of these wonderful stories, I've also had to support families through grief, substance abuse, violence, self harm, homelessness, and even a murder case. But I do believe I've found my purpose in life. Whether it's loving my wife, playing music to a crowded pub, supporting a young adult, or even leaving an anonymous note to be found by a stranger... my place in the world is to make people's lives just a little brighter.

As an empath, it's super important for me to take care of myself. I do this by communicating with friends, going for nature walks, exercise, or just playing games on my phone."

That post made me feel uplifted, it showed real courage and demonstrated, beautifully, "Struggles, efforts and victories", they're all in there, VICTORIES they are achievable, believe it.
Namaste and many thanks to my friend Batrick,
D.

Appreciate you setting up this space, D. Living with mental health challenges isn't easy, but having a supportive community like this makes a huge difference. Thanks for sharing your journey

@DireWolf62

Replying to myself with an important notification for all:

This thread is MY story, all the stories, suggestions, conclusions and advice is composed from either my personal experiences over 25 years of managing Bi-Polar Disorder Typw II w/ attendant Anxiety (generalised) Disorder.

I invite ALL who come here to share their stories as they feel comfortable, I also ENCOURAGE QUESTIONS. Questions are how we learn, learn to process and, hopefully the answers help us move forward.

If you, as a reader, decide to answer a question please do so in general advice terms or reply with what YOU have found to be useful and effective. 

In "Sharing Circles" here at 7 Cups both "listeners" and "members" are prohibited from asking direct questions, giving direct advice or telling people what they should do. While you are here, if you have any questions, please direct them to me, Direwolf. 

Thank you and Namaste,
D.

Good afternoon everyone, I welcome, warmly, anyone who comes here and assure you of complete support and genuine care while you are here.

On Page one, post 7, I discussed "rediscovering self", that is to say, rediscovering who YOU really are. This afternoon, when I logged in and took my "daily guided tasks" for the day I came across this;
Quote: "We are all human! Your weaknesses and vulnerabilities are what make you human. These are not things to be ashamed of. Nobody is all good and nobody is all bad. We all include good, bad and neutral qualities. Owning your deficits and strengths at the same time centers you and reminds you that you are human.

Some people can be mean and judge you for having weaknesses. Most of the time, these people are miserable because they are also judging themselves in this same way. Do not take their judgments to heart."

That is an excellent summation to go with the topics I covered in the post I mentioned. The hardest part of "Managing" a condition is not losing sight of YOURSELF, or rediscovering YOU from the bottom of any situation.

I urge you, if you are struggling, to review the 7th post on Page 1. It may just help.
Namaste,
D.

"So, who is this 'DireWolf'?"

Fair question, if you're going to read, and hopefully gain some strength, support and insights, from this journal thread then I think you should know where it all comes from.

As you may already be aware I was born in England, I lived there until the age of 11 when my parents (who could sense the oncoming economic/industrial and racial turmoil of the seventies and early eighties) moved the family to Australia.

I attended my high school in Australia graduating with majors in English, English Literature, History, Geography and Human Biology. 

I worked several "manual labour" jobs until, at 18, I engaged in an Apprenticeship in Steel construction and Welding. I completed this and gained my trade papers in this occupation.

In 1985, at the urging of my then sister-in-law, I applied for, and secured, a position as a Purchasing and Supply Manager. I continued in this role, with several employers, for nearly 16 years before recognising that the stresses of the role, of working near 16 hours a day for a fixed salary, was burning me out.

It had cost me a marriage, a relationship of a total of 8 years before undergoing a divorce.

I went back to my trade, and into a new relationship which lasted for 13 years, and gave me two awesome children + 1 who was not biologically my son.

In 2000, again as you may already know, I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar Affective Disorder Type II (then F33.1 on the American Psychiatric Association's classification list) with attendant Generalised Anxiety Disorder. So, I had my "label" which I was told, at one stage, once you are classified that's what you are for life and there's no complete cure.

In 2003, in a desperate attempt to preserve the family unit, I agreed to move all the way across Australia from West coast to the far South East. It didn't work. In 2006 my partner left me and the children to set up house with an ex boyfriend.

In 2006 I met a lady, an American lady who had decided to come on vacation to Australia. We were married in 2007 and we have recently celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary.

That's the story of DireWolf, a man who has been coping, and managing, a psychological condition for just over 25 years now. I have learned a lot, I have seen a lot, I have experienced a lot and I have found ways to maintain myself, not perfectly at times, and maintain some stability in my life.

Everything I offer here, everything I write about, everything I communicate is real and is MY experience. I welcome questions and I promise you that if you ask me a question I will answer it honestly, straight forwardly and sincerely. If I don't know the answer I will do my best to help you find it.
Namaste,
D.

thanks for this

"Asking questions is a core tool in human communication used to build trust, gather facts, and spark ideas, relying heavily on open-ended phrasing, active listening, and curiosity."
Ref: Stanford Graduate School

Good evening,
This is a concept that you can find, for yourself, in pretty much any textbook/course/discussion on human communications. It is vital for doctors/psychologists and therapists to decide what, and what is not, an appropriate course of action for those who are struggling with both physical and psychological difficulties.

You've probably all noticed that on this support site, as brilliant as it is, "direct questions" and "direct advice" are against the guidelines for both "Members" in Sharing Circles and in 1-on-1 Chat mode. Tonight I went into the appropriate support group in my "Listener" role (which I qualified as some time back) and I asked, "Why do we not apply this particular technique/s in our daily communications?"

I was told the answer; "Because it's against guidelines."

It struck me then that this resource is here to comfort people and make them feel a bit happier but it is not a resource to help people unless you sign on with a "Therapist" (at high cost per hour)

I think that's why I began this "Journal/Thread" so people can see my story, can see what I have done to help myself and can, I hope, discover something that might help them. YES, I can't TELL you what to do, I can only share what I have discovered, experienced and used in my 25 year struggle to manage my condition. I don't know, I feel frustrated at this point and I am questioning whether I should even be here. I have contacted a Mentor to see if I can make some sense out of it but I am afraid that I will simply get the same answer. I feel disenchanted at this point and I'm wondering whether I am in the right place.
Namaste,
D.