The drugs don't work anymore (I need more)
No matter how many painkillers I take, I feel like they're not working anymore.
I feel like I need to take more and more. Yesterday I got desperate, I searched for pills like crazy. I don't even remember how many pills I took anymore. I also don't know what I swallowed. Even though I'm losing my balance, I feel like I need something more, like alcohol. I just woke up. I was under the influence of pills all morning. And I don't know what else to do with my life. How do you all feel? (I really don't know how to express myself, sorry.) 😥
@RashellLena24
Sharing for you to get support, I posted on your other post, sending you all the love and support in the world 💜💕
@RashellLena24 I understand this must have been hard for you to share. How long have you felt like this, and is there something in particular that triggers it?
Im so sorry.... please look after yourself... you're so deeply loved... 💛✨️
I can relate little bit to the part where you dont know why youre doing what you're doing. 2 days back i had a little bit pain and took a big dose of painkiller and then it occurred to me that my pain wasnt that much and I had simply plunged on to the painkiller from anxiety and being zoned out.... it was such a bad feeling to realise that I got so out of touch with myself.
Please whatever is hurting you - take that burden off - and connect to yourself. You deserve it.
Id be happy to talk to you more and offer any support i can.
@RashellLena24
@RashellLena24 Idk what to say, don't wanna say that I feel bad for you because right now I feel bad for myself though. I don't even know what to share and how to, this isolation *** me up. I ended up a ghost, unseen, invisible and people are scared of em'. I've paranoia may be, I'm not sure because I haven't been diagnosed... Never. The reason is now sad, my parents won't let me they think if I'll get into therapy and all then I'll be tagged as "weak" and "insane". How bad right, but the fact that I'm dying inside with confusion and killing my potential is even more sad. Idk 😭 wtf has happened wrong with my life, why it is like that now... Will I even be able to fix it? Am I in distress or just playing the victim card for sympathy and escapism? I've a ton of questions but no one to answer... Great right? I wanna lose my life but I can't there is people who loved me like *** and spent their early adulthood talking care of me, my mom and dad got married at a young age mom was 19 and dad was 20, it all got better when I was born idk but that's what they say. I wanna be alive for them, even I wanna get out of this life problem for them, otherwise if I'd have been an orphan then losing myself could be an option.
Sorry I really don't know what to say and tell!
If you've read till here then thanks and if not then it's fine, I'm used to it... Nobody listens yk.
@Lucy1981 things youre saying are making sense. A lot of us have gone through similar problems of troubled homes and depression. You're not alone. You can seek help. We are here to support you. Your life is extremely worthy and reflecting on your genuine emotions doesnt make you a sympathy-seeker. We need connection to thrive and thats what you're seeking too.
@RashellLena24 I'm really sorry to hear that. Please know that you're not alone in this. and you truly matter 🤍 I hope you find the support here 🍀 and things start to feel a little lighter 🤍 Sending lots of love to you! ❤️
