Weekly Prompt #21: Can forgiveness be earned, or is it something that should be freely given?
Hello everyone, I hope everyone is having a good week.
A couple of weeks ago we discussed- Do you have any guilt? How did it make you feel? If you haven't checked yet, please click here to add your thoughts.
This week's prompt is: Can forgiveness be earned, or is it something that should be freely given?
Take a moment to reflect on what is forgiveness to you and whether can it be earned or simply freely given. Take your time to explore fully and allow your thoughts to flow freely. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to forgiveness, as it is a deeply personal and individual experience. Please share and discuss here among us.
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@ASilentObserver For major offenses, forgiveness must be earned. In such a case, the offender is only entitled to it after (s)he understands the harm (s)he did & that the buck stops with him/her...even then, if the aggrieved party decides not to forgive the offender, that is the aggrieved party's decision to make & it cannot be demanded or forced.
On a related note, individual responsibility is sorely lacking in the West today; that is one of the reasons why it is in such decline. We have to relearn that basic truth: you are responsible for your own actions. Not the society you grew up in, not your current community, not your parents. While environmental & genetic influences always play a part, the decision still ultimately comes from your own mind. If we all understood that, the world would be a better place.
@slowdecline48 Thank you for adding your thoughts with us, Slow. Those are thoughtful reflections on taking responsibility and earning forgiveness. Exploring one's role and impact can be difficult yet important work.
@ASilentObserver You're welcome. For future reference, feel free to tell me if I start getting long-winded in here. As you surely know by now, I'm an opinionated guy & have a tendency to sermonize every so often. 😝
@ASilentObserver I think forgiveness needs to be earned in most scenarios. There are honest mistakes where maybe someone just had a lapse of judgement, and deserve your forgiveness freely, but even then, they need to ensure they don't do it again. Most times, people need yo earn back forgiveness. Why should they be forgiven if they show no remorse or care for their actions? If someone consistently takes your forgiveness and throws it away, hurting you over and over, they no longer deserve your forgiveness.
@littleStrawberries1840 Thank you for sharing your perspective. It sounds like trust and care are important factors for you in deciding whether forgiveness is deserved.
@ASilentObserver
Such a good question!
I think, no matter what, forgiveness is a gift you give to YOURSELF and not the other person or people, ultimately. There was a quote I heard about how not forgiving someone is like swallowing poison and hoping it will kill the other person that really stuck me. We ultimately have the choice to free ourselves.
This is much easier said than done, I know!
@LovingPeacefulHeart Forgiveness can indeed be a powerful way to free ourselves. What feelings have you been experiencing in your journey with forgiveness?
@ASilentObserver
Usually there is a lot of resistance at first. It’s important to remember that forgiveness is not a one time thing, you have to keep doing it. I feel like it always feels better and more liberating than holding onto things.
@LovingPeacefulHeart Thank you for sharing your perspective on forgiveness. It sounds like from your experience, making forgiveness an ongoing process is important. You're right that freeing ourselves from holding onto hurts of the past can feel liberating.
@ASilentObserver
Forgiveness is something I struggle with. I don't think it can be earned forgiveness in my opinion is something that can only truly be given.
@SystemFireSkye It sounds like forgiveness is weighing heavily on your mind. You are right that forgiveness often comes from within, through one's own choice to let go of resentment.
@ASilentObserver
Forgiviness does weigh on me, I don't want to hate the person who hit us,but I don't know if I can forgive.
@SystemFireSkye I hear you Skye. Forgiveness can be challenging when harm has come to us or those close to us. You are not alone in grappling with how to move forward in a way that brings you peace.