exhausted

@Optimisticempath hugs if you’d like from a stranger

I’ve been feeling this way myself lately. Depression has been with me as long as I can remember, but I used to bounce back somewhat. It’s been escalating more than usual for a while, and now I just feel empty all the time. I’ve this new phenomenon of feeling surprised that I’ve woken up each morning. My typical heaviness, lack of enjoyment, exhaustion has just become heartbroken. It’s like my mind is giving up and I have no ideas left how to get myself out of it.

I’m sorry if it’s presumptuous to say, but I get the feeling that you do care a lot about people, but that you are beyond burnt out by them. I felt this yesterday when listening to a nice older neighbor who wouldn’t stop talking after saying I needed to go to an appointment 5 times. I care for her, but I didn’t want to be there, I couldn’t take it. I’m usually a good listener, but now I zone out and go numb. She invited me to come back soon, and I felt panic. I used to reserve energy for some people, now I don’t have any for anyone. People take without realizing you don’t have anything even to pick yourself up. I’m sorry you’re finding yourself in this place. I don’t have advice. I just want you to know that it’s not something about you alone. I hope something good happens for you today or soon that can help refill you, and that you can keep it just for yourself for a while.

@Optimisticempath

hey hope things make a turn around for u friend miss talking with you *big huggies*

@Optimisticempath

hey, 

its me (: *hugs you if okay and doesn't let go* 💖

(Disclaimer: if this message is in any way unhelpful or annoying, feel free to just have it removed Opti friend 💕 and sorry for making it so waffley and so long. )

sometimes we have no where else to turn to, no one to talk to, no one to understand us, no one to hear us, to see us or to feel for us or to sit there with us. its hard. the fear of judgement overcomes us, the fear of being misunderstood or hurting someone else, people's reactions, what they will say, what feels right and wrong to share about. its so much emotions and feelings that come with it. It can be such a dark and overwhelming place to be in friend 💕 but you know Opti? I think its quiet brave you decided to post this, it takes a whole lot of courage friend.  *sits with you*  🧸

It takes alot to live in this chaotic and scary world. i know it sounds weird, but your right. breathing is tiring. waking up and dragging ourselves out of bed, the peer pressure, the voices in our head, the trauma, the expectations, work, school, family etc 💞 It gets so confusing and hectic, everything seems to go by so fast and we are so caught up. it takes alot to just move sometimes. you can't run away from it. you can't escape it. you just purely survive in this world. 💖 I know this is gonna sound really cliché and strange, but isn't it so extraordinary that you have made it this far and survived this far? like man, I don't even know what your going through, but my gosh... you have made such a difference by just existing. 💜

and I know its hard to see it. I know its hard to see all the good things we did. but let me just remind you friend, that seeing ourselves in a positive light is one of the most difficult challenges we face. our eyes will decieve us, and our mind will convince us of how bad we are. but in the mean time, let me remind you something. by being here, you have been kind and caring towards other members, you have comforted me when it was hard, you have shown understanding and respect and affection. you have existed. shared your struggles. you have come through to be such a valuable human my friend. 💛

yep. people and socialising is crazy 😅 I won't lie to you, people are kinda scary. I understand that sometimes it feels like we are just zoning out and probably don't understand what they are talking about. I get a feeling you have been let down by someone in life, and its kinda made you scared to be vulnerable or let people care about you. (correct me if i'm wrong friend) *sits with you* 💜 its so difficult to let people see our pain, to let people care or have the fear that we will hurt someone or disappoint them. 

but you know Opti... people learn from you. people learn from you merely just being you 💛 sometimes when we voice out our struggles and dark voices we are scared of judgement, almost like we are scared of ourselves sometimes. of course, some people will judge (which honestly sucks). but in actuality, people are so inspired by you facing your inner and outer struggles. people might see themselves, in your words. 💛 the fact that you posted this, has probably given someone else the courage to talk, or made them feel less alone in some way reading this. 

lonlieness is painful, but being around people is also painful. we want to be able to hold on to someone, for someone to understand us, for someone to be present and not judge us. it makes sense how you feel my friend. *sends comfort plushies if okay* as social creatures, we are dependent on each other. and thats totally okay lovely. we all need someone to lean on. 💛 but my point is,  i hope you see how valid and okay your feelings are my friend. that opening up is hard, lonlieness is hard and so is being around people , rotting in bed in our own lonely head is painful, but so is working and getting on with our day. 

but either way, your breathing. its painful. but its a sign of you being alive 💛 *holds your hand if okay* your existing opti. your here on this planet in this moment. and i'm so freaking proud of you. 

*hugs you super duper tight* 💜 i am sending you lots of love your way. 

Bunny :) 

@Optimisticempath  befriend me i will be all urs  : )

@Optimisticempath Hey OptiBear ❤️ reading this wasn't a waste of anyone's time. We all care about you and want good things for you ❤️

I am sorry you are feeling this way, my wife struggles with this and on many days refuses to get out of bed. Not knowing what will help and or what purpose there is in life. At times when it looks like she is doing better it ends up being because she doesn’t want to disappoint someone. Watching it first hand I know it can’t be easy. You are not alone in this, you’re never wasting time sharing or reaching out. This is what we are all here for.

Hey there, Optim... Look, no one can live up to a name like "Optimisticempath" all the time. It's not humanly possible. So don't set that as a standard for yourself since it is unattainable...you've already been there for quite a few suffering people in CupsLand. Keep it going up to a certain point & then kick back, take a breather. You are doing enough already.

Also, it's clichéd as h€ll but: I know how you feel, man.