Concerned and Confused
My gf broke up with me recently, which sucked, especially the way she ended things, and I was doing… relatively fine as I healed, but I found out recently she got drunk (more context soon). I found this out because in the middle of the night she texted me sounding all loopy, and in the morning she apologized saying she got drunk. The thing is… neither of us are legally old enough to drink. And while in the state I live in, it is legal to drink underaged if you are with guardian consent and supervision, I don’t think she was. I am pretty sure she was out with a friend at the time. I can’t tell if what is eating at me is the fact she betrayed the last bit of trust I had in her (she had promised me months ago she wouldn’t drink until she was old enough legally) or if it’s the fact that she is putting herself in danger, and while I no longer am dating her, I still want her to be safe. I just feel so overwhelmed and confused, and I am not sure what to do.
@Squishy20338
I hope a few days past you found out all is well with your EX.
It is hard when we want the best for someone and when we see or hear about them doing something that could end in something bad.
You may feel limited on what advice or concerns you can tell her as you are not dating anymore. I think saying something as a friend would ease your mind and hopefully help her as well
@toughTiger6481 I would try to say something as a friend, but she refuses to talk to me, and honestly, I am still dealing with my own healing so I am avoiding taking to her a bit too. I can’t tell if she hates me now for some reason, or if she is being cold towards me to protect herself, and it’s a reflection of how she feels. Right now, unfortunately, I think the best thing I can do is let go. She will find her own path, and whether her path ends badly or not, it’s no longer my concern. Thank you though.
Yeah, it is not your concern anymore. Simply redirect her to a friend of hers.
I mean, if you’re concerned about her safety, maybe you can reach out to friends or family of hers but at a certain point you also have to acknowledge that you live separate lives and that she has to make her own choices right?
Let me try to make this post a bit more clear for those of you who scrolled down here. This is not a slam on my ex. She is a genuinely good person. This is not me trying to control her behavior. It’s her life and I never want to control that, in fact her independence is one of the many things I adored about her at the time. This is about how I feel so conflicted and confused and unsure on how to deal with my own emotions about the situation. I just don’t want to see someone I used to care about (I no longer care about her the same way, I just want her to be as safe as she can) do something that might get them hurt.
