Grudges: When is it time to let go of a grudge?
A grudge is "a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury." Often we hold on to negative feelings or beliefs about people or specific situations because they caused us pain. Reflecting on these grudges & possibly opening ourselves up to release them can be helpful.
In this thread, share your stories about holding grudges. What have you learned? Have you let go of a grudge? What did that feel like?
General thoughts about grudges are also welcome!
Maybe this is petty but I only hold onto a grudge when i feel like the person hasnt changed and could still hurt me. Why should I forgive them if they cant make any effort to change the things about themselves that caused them to hurt me in the first place?
I know as most things letting go of a grudge is by far easier said than done. However, I don't think holding on to a grudge at any point is healthy or good for either person in the relationship or situation. In the past when I've held on to grudges, it's only because I wanted the other person to care, to fix my hurt, or it some way make things right. More often than not, I wasn't going to get anything desirable. So I just find it much better to just let go and spend time doing something helpful for someone else and myself.
As far as I experienced in my short span of life, life is too short to spend time with holding grudges against the loved or hated ones for small things that we will probably have already forgotten a couple of years later. Holding grudges or trying to take revenge have done nothing, but hurt and upset me even more so far. Since I can't spend the rest of my life quarreling with people, I usually choose to forgive them and I try not to have high expectations about them otherwise I will be the one who gets hurt. I usually try to reconcile with the people that are beloved for me when we fight over small things. As for the people that are not valuable for me, I don't spare even a second to think about them, which makes me really peaceful and happy. So, as far as I'm concerned, it is not right or sensible to hold a grudge in the first place and even if you are holding a grudge, it is best to let go of it as soon as possible. There is a saying that I consider as a guide in this journey filled with unexpected things, that is life: "Life is too short to be small." Hopefully nobody ever does the mistake of holding a grudge and everbody feels the relief of letting it go... 🍃
I'm not the type to hold grudges.... But, when I do, I stay quiet for a long time with a certain person or people. 
I hold grudges all the time... On myself, and specific people. I try to let them go but i feel like they're still there. I wish I knew how to let go entirely. Does anyone have any advice on letting go?
@Josephineve I used to hold grudges a lot, too. However, I gave up this bad habit when I realized holding grudges or trying to make the person who hurt me suffer made me feel even more hurt. I think you should realize that the more time we spend holding a grudge towards somebody, the sadder and more fed up we become as the person who hurt us probably would be pleased to see. Thus, I think it is really important to let go of grudges in order to be happy and peaceful and it is worth a try even though how hard it might seem. I'm sure once you give it a try, you'll be so relieved that you'll never want to hold a grudge again
@powerfulCamp1207
thank you so much for taking the time to write this. It helped me realize a lot.
@Josephineve You're welcome! 😊 I'm glad I was able to help 😊
I'm willing to forgive people if they show genuine remorse for what they did. I try to hold myself to the same standards as well- if someone confronts me about something I said/did that upset them, I apologize and do what I can to fix the situation. My issue is when someone doesn't show remorse- either they don't apologize, or they say "I'm sorry" and then proceed to place a lot of blame on me for being upset, etc. I end up really upset and tend to hold a grudge that can last years.
my grudges:
best friend dissin me on my birthday.
teacher settin me up, lyin about it then sayin im crazy and got the story wrong.
teacher for askin me wats wrong, then callin me a liar wen i say there is nothin wrong.(more 2 this story.)
both my high school guidance councelors.
my parents 4 kikin me out.
my former roomate 4 havin s3x w\ my brother....which basicly forced me out the house.
my 4th grade assistant teacher 4 lookin over the stall door and starin at me while im going the bathroom.
I used to hold a lot of grudge against my ex-classmates. They were mean, manipulative, and toxic. Over time, the feelings lessened, because looking back, they had a lot of insecurities -- like me. They just projected it differently. They bully and they hurt. There were times I'm still angered by it, but I'm learning to get past it. You have to get away over the grudge. Do it for yourself, not for them.
I'm pretty sure the "right" answer is to not hold grudges.
😒
I hold grudges for at least 2-5 days. After that, I deposit them into the vault where they accrue monthly and yearly interest.
I have a grudge from my earliest childhood that is going on 20-22 years.
I need to let go of my past. i frequently talk about it but i need to look forward and stop worrying what people are going to think about mw.
