Empathy Explained: GoldenRuleJG Perspective
Hello everyone!
What comes to your mind when you hear the phrase empathy? It’s the ability to walk into someone else shoes.
Deflecting from any negative the individual is feeling does not mirror empathy. Let’s explain this using examples:
- Example 1 “ I hate myself, I am ugly, I am fat” What would be an empathetic response to that ? We cannot rescue the individual from what they are feeling. Although it’s in our natural instinct to say “You are none of these things or it’s terrible you think so negatively of yourself.” We should instead mirror them: “ I can really hear you feel..” “Where does this feeling come from? … “
- Example 2: “Do you think I’m a bad person for cheating?” Whatever your opinion on how relationships should be and what is right or wrong, refrain from giving your true opinion. We are not to provide judgement on the choices the individuals make. You may ask what are safe questions to ask? Let’s try being empathetic with open-ended questions: If comfortable to answer …”what made you gravitate towards this person?” “what do you look for in relationships?” “what are you hoping you get from this conversation?”
- Example 4 “ I feel like you don’t care why I’m saying” Whilst this can be hurtful to hear, as a listener show your interest to improve instead of acting defensively and saying “That’s not my intention” or saying “I’m trying my best”. Ask for clarification but empathetically “I’m really sorry. What would you like out of this conversation?”
*Acronyms to remember: PROVE*
Empathy is definitely not one dimensional. Saying sorry is simply not enough. We need to demonstrate some sort of understanding. We need to ask ourselves what are the key words our speaker is sharing with us. How much are we letting their thoughts, feelings and emotions come through, without influencing them on how to think, feel? This is where this acronym comes in handy: PROVE ( Paraphrase, Reflect, Open-ended question, Validation , Empathy). Empathy is not at its finest when there is no attempt to paraphrase, reflect, ask open-ended questions or use of any validation.
We all have had times where our empathy was effective and times where it was not so effective. Would be open to hearing everyone’s interesting thoughts on these questions:
Q1: What’s your opinions on empathy? Can it be overused or underused at times?
Q2: What empathy statements do you use in conversation with your members and how do you use it outside?
Q3: I’ve definitely had misconceptions of empathy in the past.
If so have you?
Q4: What are your tips on empathy?
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@GoldenRuleJG
this is so awesome! <3
@Clarisse29 Thank you Clarisse - hope you are doing well ❤️
@GoldenRuleJG
1. empathy is something that can be very important with connections <3 it can help to develop connections, sometimes it breaks connections, etc. the amount of empathy you show for others can really determine things like these sometimes, and i do believe it can be overused and underused. when you use too much empathy, sometimes you may forget to focus on yourself as well. it can cause you to do more things for a person sometimes when you listen to them and put yourself in their shoes. you want to be there for them, but you can't always be. it can also be underused, definitely. when people need someone to talk to, they just need someone that'll try to understand them. it can really help to make them feel a little better about everything :) when they don't have that, it's very stressful and upsetting for them at times.
2. i say things such as "i can understand why you would be feeling that way", "if i were in your shoes, i'm sure i'd be feeling the same thing", and "it makes sense why you would react that way" <3 outside, i use it pretty much the same way :) it can help a lot of people
3. yes ! i used to think empathy was the same thing as sympathy-- to feel sorry for someone. i'd say "sorry" a lot when i would listen to others rather than trying to connect with them and understand them. i realized that having someone who tries to connect with you and see what you're saying makes you feel like you're being listened to a lot more. just being left with a "sorry" can sometimes make things feel a little worse and more lonely, too.
4. my tips on empathy are to try and not force it. if you have lower levels of empathy, you can practice trying to connect with and understand others <3 but i find that people can tell when you fake empathy at times. connections are real and shouldn't be faked-- they should be strived for.
I really do agree! Thank you for your incredible answer suko @rrretsuko :)
This is so nice🌷
@Zahraa000 thank you zahraa ❤️Hope you are doing well!
Awesome post. Thank you 🙏
@higherselfhealing999 Thank you ❤️
Hello @GoldenRuleJG ❤️
This is such a beautiful post! Thank you so much for making it!! 😊
@VerseArt 😊thank you verse
This was very helpful and changed how I look at empathy. Thankyou. ❤
@ShizukanaChinmoku Thank you for liking my post - nice to hear from you :)