Depression,derealization

@noboddddy134o

I'm sorry people made you feel like this 

You are not a mistake.

You are worthy of friendships and love.

People exclude because of something lacking in them, not you.

🥺💖

@noboddddy134o

You’ve expressed yourself beautifully and I truly hope you find the connection you seek.

Here’s a rose of appreciation for reaching out with courage.

Hugs 🤗. I think your feelings are normal and more common than you think. Maybe you are an introvert and might enjoy being alone more than the others around you. That is how I am, and outgoing extroverted people don't tend to understand.

I came across this affirmation recently which I think might be appropriate... I am just as worthy, deserving and capable of creating the life I'm committed to as any other person on Earth and I will prove that today with my actions.

You are.

This comes from the book The Miracle morning by Hal Elrod.

@noboddddy134o Some times you don't need to be loud to make an impact! Some times just stepping back and doing your own thing is more than enough! You matter a lot, and you're not alone!

@noboddddy134o Honestly, I feel the same way. Every day I'm prepared for another disaster of anxiety, worries, not fitting in.

I don't know people. People scare me. I try to act helpful and nice in hopes I would have a friend, but I'm still a shadow no matter what I do.

A search for an answer, not with a magnifying glass. Instead with strings of tied feelings, for a heart and another heart to connect, perhaps to share one beat in unison if I'm lucky, at the least a lock of eyes, one glance.

Not a glance, not the beat of a caring heart, just a dark silence.

I try to remind myself that if I don't have any friends to laugh with or have memories, at least I have myself and I'm strong for trying.

Negativity bounces back again and again since my life is stained with the seal that no one even cares. Leaving me to my doubt-eating days of rain. One in which always seems to haunt me even at night.

But before all positivity gets pushed away once more like a forbidden tide, I'll leave you with a seashell: you're not alone in the pain. And if you're going through this pain similar to mine, I know that you're suffering and I, even a stranger, as little as it may seem, care enough to reply.

@noboddddy134o
Love the little poem you wrote. You're talented.
I was in a similar position to yours not so long ago.
Just like you, I felt like the odd one out - no matter where I was.
Just like you, I tried my best to reach out and socialize - But I froze.
Just like you, I was famous among the people who knew me for being the quiet one.
The more I tried to socialize, the worse I performed and eventually, I decided to stop trying and strangely enough - that was the solution!
Here's some changes that I brought into my life - 
1. I detached from associating being quiet as a negative trait.
2. I started noticing my surroundings and realised why I'd prefer not to talk to people
3. I stopped restricting myself from opening up and showing my real self to others.
4. I stopped being scared of quietness in conversations.
5. I stopped intentionally trying to socialize and rather let it naturally happen.
6. I started focusing on others rather than focusing on myself - How I feel, look, talk and so on.
So this year what I achieved was - Taught a class of 30 students physics - and everybody loved it!, debated with the authorities of my school for their wrong decisions, showcased my talent of being able to play an instrument to the public ( Even though I was shivering whilst playing ), Led 5 group projects as the leader and made many connections wherever I went.
It all started from all those little decisions I made.
And my brother/sister, I wanna tell you one last thing - you can do it too, since I was able to.

thank you😊

Loneliness is the roots of sadness

But u can be my friend if u want

We can take on this life together :D

Loneliness is the roots of sadness

But u can be my friend if u want

We can take on this life together :D

@noboddddy134o

I feel the same way. Whenever I'm with people I always hope that I can finally get a friend who stays so I try to be talkative, I try to be outgoing, I try to be as nice as possible, but no matter what I’m still quiet, distant, shy, and alone but I don’t want to be.

i wish I was outgoing, i wish I was liked, i wish i had friends, I wish i felt different, i wish had normal teenage years, i wish I wasn’t alone, i wish i knew what it felt like to matter in someone’s life….

But no matter how much I wish nothing will change, I’ll stay the same and feel the same. I’ll continue watching in the distance the people who have the friends I dreamed of, the personalities I dreamed of, the teenage life I dreamed of and the love I dreamed of.

As life goes on it all seems to continue weighing me down and pushing me down.

@noboddddy134o I’m so sorry you’re going through that stuff, you don’t deserve any of it. I’m giving you all my love ♥️ ♥️

@noboddddy134o
Some hearts don’t fit into loud rooms, but that doesn’t make them any less real. You are seen, even in the silence you’ve had to survive. You haven’t failed at belonging; the world didn’t learn how to meet you softly.
I’m glad you spoke; being heard is a start, even if it feels small.