How are you.... Really?

@kindheartedCandy4400 

I'm not fine. 

I'm a singer songwriter making music for almost 7 years now. I released a song couple of days ago. I posted content, shared with friends, reached out to other content creators and did everything that I could. And the song has got 32 streams. It took me 4 months to make this song 💔

I think I'm actually doing okay, I did sometimes a couple of days ago. Reported a traffic light not lighting up with the red light when stopping at the intersection. Called a number to the city after work on Saturday, I was stopped at the same intersection last night after work, and saw it lit up. I was all smiles, as I know that it has been addressed and fixed, just because I had made the report. 

But there is one thing I'm worried about, I'm trying to apply into a program to take some courses, as an Instructor, I can get a tuition and fee waiver form signed by the department head, so I could take the courses for free. But my department head is on vacation until July 2nd, and the course starts July 6th. So, I hope I can still make it in time. Because the course is from July 6th to September 13th, which is just the right timing, as I start teaching October 5th. 

As for feelings of loneliness, that is always something that lingers on in my life. With not many to call a friend, and having family (living at home with my parents and older brother, neither of us are married), my parents are still being a bit overprotective of me, as the youngest and the daughter. Hey, I'm going to be 40 next year! It'd be great if I don't need to always tell them, that I'm leaving for work and heading home. I mean, if I were to go somewhere else other than home, I'll tell them, but otherwise, I really find it a little too much to need to report to them when I'm leaving the workplace. As a lot of the times, I end up leaving later than the end of my shift, as I stay behind and chat with my Supervisor sometimes, and I usually eat a snack first, before I make my way home. But my parents would always end up messaging me, asking me where am I, if I'm on my way home already. I mean, other than being still at the workplace, where else would I be? Do you think that's being overprotective? I think so. Like, what is there to worry about? My safety, while I'm still at the workplace? I work in a hospital, how dangerous can it get? If I end up working overtime, I'll let them know. But, just because I'm caught up in a conversation, and leaving like an hour later, do you think it's really necessary to report to my parents why I haven't left my workplace yet?

@kindheartedCandy4400

@kindheartedCandy4400 i honestly don’t know how to feel anymore. I feel anxious and stressed at work, then I have family stuff I gotta deal with and figure out, and I can’t even tell anyone how I feel cause I don’t want to seem like those girls who are all like “yeah I was taken advantage of and have depression, autism, ADHD, ADD, schizophrenia-“ etc. trust me, I actually know someone is said she had all of that. But I can’t even tell someone that I had ADHD without the fear of them thinking I’m lying or saying it cause it makes me “quirky”. It doesn’t. I don’t like the fact that I have it. It’s make my life harder. I can’t even take out the trash without having to do thirty other things, and with enough anxiety that I have to be medicated on it? It doesn’t not help. I don’t know, man, I just kinda vomited all of this out. 

I am feeling shredded with going to work. I see a lot of patients dealing with mental illness and some staff who are burnt out and not happy with their job. It makes me feel sympathy and sadness for the patients situation and that they are sick

*** I find the idea of doing IQ tests on children even more reprehensible. Judging them and justifying judging them using detailed questionnaire