Things People Who Have Experienced Grief Wish You Knew
If this is part of your life story, please share your insights! What would you like the rest of us to learn? What should we know about people in this community? How would you like people to interact with you? Should people ask questions? What’s the best way for people to learn about this? Do you have any resources (books, movies, YT videos, etc) that will give us greater understanding and empathy and kindness toward people who experience the same things you do?
If you’re not on this journey, we welcome you to listen, learn, and ask respectful, good-faith questions! Open-ended questions are highly encouraged, as they give people the space to share their unique experiences in their own words. While this is a safe space to learn about things you’ve never experienced, please remember to be sensitive, and avoid sharing harmful stereotypes or debating someone's lived reality. If you have a question, ask it with empathy. If someone gently corrects you, please be open to learning. Let's have a gentle, fun, friendly conversation where we support one another, because it takes all sorts to make a world!
First of all, thank you for responding. I really haven't gotten many so I'm grateful. That was a lot of questions. However, I love questions. It makes me work my Stagnant brain. Lol. I still think about these wisdoms and answer them truthfully and respectively.
@ScrabbleBrain
Do's that helped me:
Let me talk about the loved one or listen as I talked about my loved one.
Do offer specific support options and ask first. Examples: On Tuesday, I could take your clothes to the laundromat and wash them and bring them back folded, what is your favorite meal, can I bring that by on Friday, how about I mow your lawn for you every other Saturday).
Be a presence
Invite the grieving person out to events. Provides distraction, decreases the isolation/loneliness loss can bring up.
Validate and normalize feelings in response to loss.
Remember important dates. Anniversaries of the loved ones passing, birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc. Send a card just letting them know your loved one was important.
Share your stories of interactions with them. Keep it to helpful or positive stories. Do not bring up unresolved conflicts with the deceased loved ones.
What was unhelpful for me:
Asking how did she die? (it was a traumatic death for me so sharing about it was painful)
Cliche phrases like they are in a better place, they are no longer in pain, they are no longer in and anything else that starts with at least****
Comparison to your experiences with loss.
The question shouldn't you be over it by now?
Best most helpful books are anything by Alan Wolfelt. 2 most helpful ones for me starting out after my first major loss were First Aid for Broken Hearts and Understanding Your Grief with Companion Workbook. Just started watching FB reels entitled the Grieving Table. Not sure if there is a youtube channel with this or not. Hope these help.
@jesusredeemedme2425 your posts are really very interesting ☺️. Thanks for such amazing posts💜❤️
You are so very welcome <3
