Things People Who are Transgender Wish You Knew
If this is part of your life story, please share your insights! What would you like the rest of us to learn? What should we know about people in this community? How would you like people to interact with you? Should people ask questions? What’s the best way for people to learn about this? Do you have any resources (books, movies, YT videos, etc) that will give us greater understanding and empathy and kindness toward people who experience the same things you do?
If you’re not on this journey, please share insights you’ve learned while interacting with those who are, whether family, friends, or anyone else. Share things you’ve read, and ask if they’re true. Share beliefs that you have, ask questions, and more! This is a safe space where you can learn about things you’ve never experienced. <3
Let’s have a gentle, fun, friendly conversation among friends! As a song in one of the Land Before Time movies says, “It takes all sorts to make a world!” <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
There are two main things I can think of that I wish more people knew:
1. Misgendering hurts, even when it's accidental. I get it, we were raised in a world where "sir" and "ma'am" are key principles of politeness, but we need to ditch them! I also really struggle when loved ones misgender me -- I play it off the best I can because, for much of my life, I have been someone else to them. But it still hurts (and those who really care tend to apologize profusely which I appreciate very much).
2. Transgender people don't need to "pass". My idea of womanhood is different from yours, and that's okay. We don't owe anyone masculinity, femininity or androgyny. Gender presentation is different for everyone, and it's not okay for others to impose their idea of "woman" or "man" on anyone. While we're on the subject, it's not okay to ask what someone else "used to be" or what their deadname was -- that's just weird and rude!
Here are a couple of people I follow on the internet that might give you some more insight:
- Maybe Burke -- she talks a lot about her experience, as well as breaks down different social structures about gender.
- Elle Deran -- her channels are sometimes about trans rights and advocacy, but my favorite content of hers is about her journey.
- Eliot Parker Graves -- mostly she does funny bits about gender; she regularly does "Gender of the Day" bits where she lists 7 new genders (it's hard to explain, you should just check her out).
Her first name is Maybe? That’s unique!
How many genders are there?
Her name is in tribute to a song, I believe.
There are as many genders as there are people! There are hundreds of labels, but how each person presents is completely different so there is a near infinite number of genders! It's kind of amazing really.
Wow <3
I’ve heard of Two Spirit. What is that?
@jesusredeemedme2425 Two spirit Is a Native American/Indigenous identity of somene that embodies both masculine and feminine traits. It is kind of similar to non-binary.
@jesusredeemedme2425
If you come to ask these questions in good faith, I suggest starting with some YouTube videos. Jammidodger is my favorite. He's intelligent, approachable, and sweet, and so is his lovely wife.
The main thing I want to say is that the diversity goes further than you can imagine. I was floored by it myself, attending virtual Zoom support groups during quarantine and participating in the trans side of ***. While we are a small part of the population at large, there are just so many of us: all ages (I'm Gen X), all heritages, all walks of life. Even our transitioning journeys can be very different. Some get their bodies completely changed, some don't at all, and others do just a few things that are important to them. Even a surgery on a particular part of the body has many variations.
Being trans is probably the least interesting thing about us. We do lots of different things in our lives. I am introverted and shy and enjoy gardening, but others could be the life of the party, could be flamboyant, could build big heavy things from wood and metal.
There is one thing that probably all of us have in common: we have worked very hard to know ourselves. The best thing you can do to honor that is trust that we are doing what works best for us.
For real! Transness isn't a singular linear journey - there are lots of options and what feels right for one person will feel wrong for someone else! HRT, surgeries, clothing, makeup, facial hair, hair styles, voice training...these are all things trans people choose to do (or not do) as they become their trust selves!
I've never heard of Jammidodger - I'll check them out! Thank you for the recc 😻
@sweven89
This is actually really helpful. Thank you sm!
@jesusredeemedme2425
Positivity☘️🍀