Things People With Bipolar Disorder Wish You Knew
If this is part of your life story, please share your insights! What would you like the rest of us to learn? What should we know about people in this community? How would you like people to interact with you? Should people ask questions? What’s the best way for people to learn about this? Do you have any resources (books, movies, YT videos, etc) that will give us greater understanding and empathy and kindness toward people who experience the same things you do?
If you’re not on this journey, please share insights you’ve learned while interacting with those who are, whether family, friends, or anyone else. Share things you’ve read, and ask if they’re true. Share beliefs that you have, ask questions, and more! This is a safe space where you can learn about things you’ve never experienced. <3
Let’s have a gentle, fun, friendly conversation among friends! As a song in one of the Land Before Time movies says, “It takes all sorts to make a world!” <3
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I’m adding a taglist to start, but this post is open to absolutely everyone! <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 I suffer from bipolar 2. I'm on meds and I'm supposedly in remission. I feel well, but I'm learning my decisions may be hindered by my affliction.
Last night at work I became overwhelmed by all the problems I was having and became very stressed. Instead of verbalizing my problem, I became very angry and frustrated. I did not behave well. I need to make amends today.
I'm still not sure what to say. I will own my behavior and apologize for losing my cool. I will try to behave better in the future when this occurs again, but it is not guaranteed.
Any thoughts are welcome.
Thanks in advance.
I have Bipolar Disorder.
What I wish people knew is that most of the time I am well and you would truly not know that I have bipolar disorder. It’s only when I am in an episode that anyone would be able to tell that something is wrong.
I personally am very open to questions about bipolar and my experience with it. I would rather people ask questions than just stay quiet and wonder indefinitely.
I’m glad you like questions! That helps a lot <3
I have one question… All I hear about is mania and depression. I thought those were the only options for bipolar, with how people talk about it. Are there down times, then, when neither one is manifesting, for lack of a better term? No one mentions this…
I hope this doesn’t sound like a bad question. All I’ve heard is just secondhand, not from people with bipolar themselves. Thank you in advance! <3
Yes, thank you!
For me there are definitely in-between times when there is no mania and no depression!
Thank you for the question.
What is that like? Do meds help? What should others do to help you feel better, and feel accepted?
Thank you for the questions! Well the times with no mania and no depression are fine! For me mania is a much bigger problem than depression, which I don’t think is necessarily the typical experience of bipolar disorder.
So I can go years without no episodes. I am on meds to help with bipolar all the time, but if I get manic, they usually increase or switch the meds. So that does help me get back to normal more. I don’t really notice the meds helping when I feel well, but probably bad things would happen if I went off of them. So sometimes it doesn’t seem like they are doing anything, but maybe they are doing a lot!
I do appreciate when people are patient t and gentle with me. I am pretty sensitive.
When I am manic, usually being admitted to the hospital is the only thing that is going to truly solve all the problems, but often I am manic before and maybe even after going to the hospital. People can provide reassurance that everything is going to be okay.
I like when people respect me as an equal even if I don’t do or accomplish as much as they do.
Just general kindness and patience probably go a long way.
What is mania like?
Hahaha it is super embarrassing. I have done so many things that I wouldn’t normally do! I have made a scene (or more!) in public and said things that just made me cringe when the mania was over. My mom says I have no filter and say everything I am thinking. That might be true.
But the internal experience is actually filled with a lot of anxiety and confusion. It can be very unsettling. Even my body can feel like it has no security anywhere. It can be scary. I’m just trying to find something stable to latch onto and often can find nothing. So when I do find something or someone I feel I can trust, it can be really hard to let go of that person or thing.
As I said, going to the hospital is the only thing that helps enough to get me back to normal. Other things can help a little, but nothing else completely solves the mania. Now, the hospital is kind of a scary experience in itself. You are around a lot of other people who are also currently unwell, and this is hard for me. In my experience in the hospital, I have always been the only manic patient. Most others are depressed or suicidal or maybe other things. But you don’t sleep in your own bed, and there are a billion rules about what you can’t have and even the stuff you can have they only let you have a couple of those things. Everything is different: different shower, different food, different hobbies because of the things you can’t have, etc. Sine hospitals are better than others for sure, and thankfully I have found a local option where the staff are very nice.
So mania is a lot of things. It is scary, discombobulating, confusing, and the like.
Typo: some hospitals are better than others. ;)
Are you aware of what’s going on, or is it more like a blur, or dissociating, or something else?
What causes the insecurity?
Are you allowed to have your phone? What else is allowed or not allowed?
Do they at least provide decent food?
My thoughts are so different that I think I am doing exactly what I should be doing. Only until my thoughts come back down do I realize I wasn’t acting normal. For example, I might try to spread my beliefs to others constantly because that seems like what I should be doing, but only later do I realize I went about it very poorly. It’s not really like a blur or dissociating. I am aware, but not always exactly aware of how unusual my behavior is until later. I hope this answers your first question, but let me know if you need clarification.
I guess very high anxiety can cause the insecure feeling in my body. Or it could be the mania. Everything is sped up during mania. Thoughts are faster; talking is faster; acting is faster, etc. So I could feel insecure because of the increased speed of everything. It just kind of overwhelms your system maybe.
You are absolutely not allowed to have your phone on the unit. It feels like a foreign o next when you get it back LOL. Crayons are allowed, as well as a composition notebook to use as a journal. Any kind of pen is not allowed. Mechanical or wooden pencils are also not allowed. Stuffed animals are not allowed. I used a small weighted blanket and a small fidget blanket under direct supervision. Markets are allowed only under supervision. The only pencils allowed are wobbly rubber pencils that do not write well at all. Last time I just wrote in my journal with my crayons! Paperback books, Bible, devotionals are allowed. Pop fidgets are allowed if they are flexible and not hard. Stress ball type fidgets are allowed, but again only a limited number of these. You get styrofoam cup for water that you can have at all times and ask for refills. No computers. No hardcover books at night (10 PM to 5 AM). Actually no crayons or pencil at night either. No underwire bras. No drawstrings. No shoe laces. Only a little stubby toothbrush, not full size. Coloring books are allowed, but they usually only give me zero to one of the ones I brought.
The food is not too bad where I go, but it depends on the hospital.
Typo: it feels like a foreign object when you get it back.
Typo: markers are allowed only under supervision
So like you’re aware of what’s happening, but not of its effects?
Wow, I wonder what it is in the brain that causes that
Is it like a 72-hour hold kinda thing?
Ok, I understand the potential safety issues with a lot of the banned items, especially for people in crisis, but why ban stuffed animals and hardcovers??? Like, what could you POSSIBLY do with those XD
Hospital food tends to be not that great lol
I’m aware of what’s happening, but not its effects? Yeah, I guess that’s a good way to put it!
You can be taken to the hospital if you are a danger to yourself or others involuntarily for 72 hours, but I have always ended up signing myself in and usually stay about two weeks. The most recent time was 15 days, and the time before that was 14 days.
They told my mom that stuffed animals are banned because people were eating the stuffing.
Hardcovers I guess you could throw at someone? I don’t know.
I agree though. Some of the rules seem quite ridiculous.
Yes about the foods.
What do you do there?
I’m sorry what?? Why??
What do you do there?
Personally, I journal and color with crayons a lot. There are many groups every day, of different kinds. Some are an art activity, some are DBT, some are just talking about how your day went. Of course you have your three meals. You can also just walk up and down the hall of the unit if you want. Oh, and there are two TVs that are on constantly in the common areas, which personally kind of annoys me, but that is the main thing most people do: watch TV. There is a channel guide, and you can ask staff to change to a certain channel. You can talk to the other patients if it follows the rules of appropriate topics. Oh, and good hospitals have at least some individual therapy sessions. This is probably my absolute favorite part. You can shower. There are also visiting hours where family or others can visit. You can read. You can play with your pop fidgets. But as I said, most people just watch TV.
I do not know why anyone would try to eat the stuffing of a stuffed animal. To me it sounds like a pica thing, but maybe someone could also try to hurt themselves that way. I don’t know.
So it’s not really helping, per se, just keeping you occupied?
You could also eat your crayons. Lol
Well the groups are definitely supposed to be helpful, and I think they are. You also meet with the psychiatrist every day so he or she can figure out how to change your meds.
Don’t tell them that someone could eat crayons or they will take them away too!!! My crayons and coloring pages and my notebook are like my favorite things while I am in there.
What are the groups about?
I mean, you could eat paper if you had a mind to. Lol
Do you get kid coloring pages or adult ones? Tiny details? I would LOVE that <3
There are a lot of different kinds of groups.
There are DBT groups, processing groups, movement groups, coping skills groups, walking groups, patient’s choice group, during which you can read or use markers, etc, relaxation groups, even filling out your food choices for the next day counts as a group! There’s even an AA Meeting group sometimes. There is also a spirituality group. They also have karaoke, video games occasionally that also are physical exercise, and a game night or movie night. There are also psychoeducation groups.
So there are a lot of different kinds of groups.
The staff at the hospital I go to will try to give you the types of coloring pages you like. So if you went to this hospital, you could tell them you really like tiny details, and they would do their best to get that kind for you. I told a staff member the time before last that I liked a certain kind, and later on she gave me more of that kind.
Heh. Almost makes me want to go… Sounds way better than my real life rn.
Aww, that’s so sweet of her! <3
There’s also Day Hospital or Partial Hospitalization, where you have groups all day but still sleep in your own bed.
Personally this has never been a good fit for me because there aren’t as many staff to give personalized attention and care, but you may qualify if you are going through something right now.
I’ve never heard of that. What’s it like?
What makes you qualify for it?
It’s a bunch of groups, as well as one individual therapy session a week. You’re in a group room with other people receiving the program. Sometimes you are instructed to draw something, sometimes fill out worksheets, sometimes do mindfulness. There is typically just one group therapist in the room. They even let us have a group outside once or twice, which I really liked.
It starts early in the morning and goes until mid afternoon. You can either pack your lunch or buy it in the small cafeteria. Lunch is unsupervised.
You have to consent to safety, but other than that, I’m not entirely sure, but you probably have to have a certain level of mental health symptoms. I have been able to qualify twice, once for mania, and once for a lot of trauma memories coming up.
So it’s like… a mental health conference?
Haha I guess there are some similarities there…
@GreenLime3141
Hi there Lime
Thank you for sharing.
Are there ways you navigate bipolar disorder that have helped?
Thank you for the question!
I think learning the early warning signs of hypotonia or even before that has helped things not progress into mania.
To be totally honest with you, I was only diagnosed in March of 2023, and I am honestly kind of early in my journey of figuring out what I can do to help myself.
I do take my meds every day, and this could be helping more than I realize.
I love educating myself about the condition, but I don’t know how much this has helped.
I am learning about what my triggers are, but I don’t think this has helped yet.
I guess one thing I can say is to try to remember to do something calming if I am feeling more revved up, but to be honest, this usually only occurs to me if I am at home.
I want to learn how to use grounding techniques other places, like at work.
I do have a couple supportive friends who know I have bipolar, and that is nice.
I wish I had a better answer to your question, but I do feel I am still in the early stages of finding things that would truly help prevent mania or during mania.
Typo: early warning signs of hypomania
@GreenLime3141
I really appreciate all of your responses on this thread. You're so frank and open and engaging. I'm confident that others can benefit a lot from what you share. Thank you so much for being so involved in active discussion!
Wow, that means a lot. Thank you so much.
Frequency outcasted. A little love goes a long way. Even if it's just a convo 💗. Mood disorder is a better term for bipolar bc of the stigma.
Do you get outcasted before or after people find out? Is it a behavioral or a stigmatic rejection?
I accept you and love you <3
@cyanDrum2401 (nods) you don’t like the word bipolar but mood disorder feels more respectful to you. Noted. 🌸
@cyanDrum2401 thank you so much for explaining that you prefer the term "mood disorder" I will definitely keep this in mind in the future.💜 And thanks so much for sharing your experiences with us
@jesusredeemedme2425
Some of us have Bipolar I, where you cycle between episodes of mania and depression. Some of us have Bipolar II, which is time mostly spent in depression and less in mania. Some of us can rapidly cycle through mania and depression, some of us the mania only happens once or twice a year. Some of us have psychotic features, some don't. You can have all of these things, you can have only the depression. You can also shift in your illness. For me, I had mania with psychotic features that eventually went away. There is hope.
It is an extremely hard mental illness to treat. Patients go through years of trial and error to find the right medications to treat their symptoms. There is no one treatment or medication. Everyone has a different set of symptoms that need to be addressed and a lot of the time, that's by multiple medications. I was diagnosed in the late 90's, and I just found the best mix of medication 3 years ago. That's roughly 25 years of trial and error.
Bipolar disorder is one of the main topics I like to chat about here. If you wish to chat further about bipolar disorder, please message me! :)
What’s the difference between bipolar where you only have depression, and depression itself?
@jesusredeemedme2425
Mania. The mania is always there, whether you experience it or not. I am in remission but could go into mania at any time. That never really fully goes away.
Thank you for sharing! I know you said you were diagnosed in the late 90s but I’m wondering how long you went without a diagnosis and how did it affect your life prior to the diagnosis and how the diagnosis has changed your life? Has it changed your life in a positive or negative way, or even possibly both?
@therapeuticwriting01
I lived with it for a few years before I was diagnosed. I was 22, and I think I started having symptoms at 19. Before that, I knew I had a depression issue.
Diagnosis was positive. I've only found the stigma to be negative, but in my personal life, I learned to not let that affect me. I am who I am for a reason. :) Diagnosis for bipolar disorder is important because of the mania. Yes, the depression is horrible, like lying on the bottom of the ocean. But mania is different. Certain medications like common antidepressants and even corticosteroids can send you into a manic or psychotic state. Knowing that happens to you can help you avoid it. It's also important for medication treatment, as some medications were made specifically for Bipolar patients to add on to their current medications. :)
@TovaCares76 Tova, I’m happy you did not give up despite struggle 🌸
@TovaCares76 I want to thank you for sharing your insights and experiences with us, and thank you for being open to further discussions about Bipolar disorder. I feel like your explanation of the differences between the types of Bipolar disorder are really clear and helped me to understand what is going on for people who have Bipolar I or Bipolar II--thanks for clarifying that. If I have other questions I will definitely reach out to you in the future😊
@Jennifire @TovaCare76 - It pleases me to see you want to connect with one another - Nice <3 :)
@Jennifire
You are welcome!
@jesusredeemedme2425 A wrestler called AJ Mendes in an interview mentioned her bipolar disorder can make her think she’s untouchable
@jesusredeemedme2425
April Mendes - Crazy is My Superpower book
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder more than 25 years ago. I suffered with the depression side for a number of years before the doctor found the right combo of meds. But after that, I was symptom free for 15 years. During that time, I experienced one relapse of first mania followed by major depression because I stopped taking my meds. The mania was actually exciting, although I did some really foolish things. The depression was miserable. The only way I was able to stay out of the hospital was by having my dad move in to care for me. Since then, I stayed on my meds and am doing well
Happy for you!
@Ann010652
Yeah... this illness is rough. Depression can be horrific. The aftermath of mania can be really hard to deal with even if it feels good for a while - both from a shame perspective, and just with whatever actually happens. I've seen that plenty of times. Thankfully, I only get hypomania. The same is true, but just not as bad, and I'm glad for that. You have my compassion for all of it.
I'm really glad you're doing better.
What’s hypomania, again?
Hey @jesusredeemedme2425 . I so appreciate your starting this thread. Bipolar is a topic that mystifies a lot of people, I think, and I appreciate your opening an avenue to ask questions and share experiences. I think that's one of the best ways to learn about an illness like this and I welcome whatever questions anyone has (please... ask!!!). I don't have any specific resources to offer in terms of books, etc., but if you live in the USA, you can check out what educational opportunities are available through groups like NAMI or DBSA (Depression Bipolar Support Alliance). DBSA sometimes has educational presentations, or "friends and family" groups that anyone can attend for free.
As far as my own experience is concerned...
I have bipolar type 2. For me, that means that I have spent a great deal of time in very severe depression, as well as some time in a hypomanic state (I don't get full-blown mania, which I'm thankful for). I've also experienced a lot of mixed states - where aspects of both mania and depression happen at the same time. So, for example, I might feel as though I am the most horrible person in the world (literally) and that I ought to be punished for my existence (these are not things I believe when I'm myself, by the way. This is a symptom of depression). At the same time, I might feel agitated, energized, angry and impulsive - also in ways that are not "me." When you combine such things all at once, it can make for a very uncomfortable (to say the very least) and volatile existence. It can, in fact, be dangerous.
I want to make it clear that in no way do I choose any of this, and in no way is it connected to a character weakness. These are symptoms of illness that I cannot control. Yes, I can treat it with the help of professionals. That is a choice, and I choose to continue that every day. But I want people to understand that when I am unwell as I describe above, it is not something I can just resolve on my own, and sometimes even my awareness of what's going on is severely impacted. Sometimes I am the last person to figure out that I have entered a mixed state, despite my being able to list, right now, the typical symptoms I get when I'm entering a mixed state. A lot of times I forget, when I am depressed, the many coping skills I have, or the appropriate responses I've worked out for myself, or even that I've ever believed anything other than that life is utterly horrible and that I'm the worst person alive. I can't even fathom how anything else could possibly be true. It doesn't matter how many times I've gone through the cycle or had someone close to me help remind me of what's true. It makes no difference how many times I've actually used the list of strategies to get through it. It stuns me the degree to which I am simply unable to think or remember at these times, but this is part of the illness I cannot control. It does not help for someone to judge what I'm going through or decide that if i only did x, I would get better. The best thing that anyone can do is to try to understand that this is a true illness, and that the things I am experiencing are symptoms of that illness.
The other thing I want people to understand is what any of us go through might get very very intense in a way that others cannot relate to or even imagine. I cannot begin to describe, for example, what it's like to exist in a world in which every single second is filled with soul-ripping, hellish misery. Literally every second. You can't escape. It's oppressive and horrifying. It's the kind of thing where, if you could stop it by chewing off one of your feet, you'd do it in a heartbeat. There truly are no words for it, and unless you've been there, there is no way for you to understand it. There is no judgment in that. In fact, I am very glad that most people cannot relate to it. It helps, though, when people can see and acknowledge that they cannot directly understand, and then continue to offer deep compassion. That is validating and supportive.
Thank you so much for this space and for the encouragement of dialogue. I look forward to seeing how the conversation evolves.
You are very welcome! <3
Thank you so much for your insights <3
What’s the difference between hypo manic and full-blown mania?
@jesusredeemedme2425
Thanks so much for asking. Hypomania and Mania are pretty similar. They have the same sorts of symptoms - inflated mood, drive and energy, decreased sleep/need for sleep, impulsivity, grandiose thinking, talking fast, hypersexuality, etc. etc. What's different is just the intensity of these things and the level of impact they have on one's life. For example, someone who's hypomanic might decide it's time to redecorate their apartment and go out and impulsively purchase a whole bunch of new furniture. It might be something they regret later, but it's something that they can probably recover from. Someone who's manic might go spend their life savings on a sportscar or gambling. There are some severe consequences to that. I hope that makes sense.
So it’s less intense?
@jesusredeemedme2425
Hypomania? Yes, less intense than mania. At least from what I have seen or experienced. I have never had full-on mania, to be fair, but I've certainly seen a lot of people who have and have seen the impacts of what they've done.
A mixed state, on the other hand... that's something different. I'm not sure how I would compare that in terms of intensity, but I guess that's a different question.
What’s a mixed state?
@jesusredeemedme2425
I started answering this question and realized that my answer was far too involved to put into a comment. Please see my answer here.
@JustSophia
Thank you so much for your honest and open post. I love when people open up about their own struggles. It helps others feel safe about opening up too, so thank you.
@TovaCares76
Thanks, Tova. I say the same to you. I really do appreciate your sharing here - and, honestly, I appreciate your input in other places too. Thank you for sharing your voice.
Thank you for creating this space 💛
What I’ve learned from loved ones with bipolar disorder is that consistency and patience matter more than finding the 'right' words. Some things I wish more people knew:
· It’s not just mood swings it’s a neurological condition that affects energy, sleep, thoughts, and selfperception.
· During depression, it’s not sadness it’s often complete numbness or exhaustion
@green laim
Thank you for creating this safe space. 💛
What I've learned from loved ones with bipolar disorder is that it's not about 'mood swings' it's about carrying an invisible weight that most people can't see
Here are a few things I wish more people knew:🌙 It's not personal when someone withdraws or seems distant, it's often the illness, not the person.
💔 Meds don't 'fix' everything they help, but the struggle is still real and daily.
🤝 Listen without fixing sometimes we don't need solutions, just someone who stays.
💬 Ask gently 'How are you really doing?'?? can mean more than you know.
If you love someone with bipolar disorder your patience, your presence, and your willingness to learn matter more than perfect words.
Thank you to everyone sharing their truth here. You're not alone. 🌸"**
@Claimlistener
Love love love this, claimlistener. I couldn't agree more. Thank you.
@JustSophia
Aww thank you that really means a lot. I'm so glad it resonated with you. Sending you lots of warmth and good vibes