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Don't Be So Hard On Yourself!!!!!

User Profile: LindsaySupport321
LindsaySupport321 September 19th, 2016

Hey Listeners!

I just wanted to share my exeriences on 7Cups for all the new (and old) listeners on here. I've been here for about a year and a half. First of all, I need you to soak in what you're doin right now. You are helping a stranger to feel better about his/hersituation. That's absolutely incredible and you deserve so much applause for that. You may be helping someone who is wondering whether to live another day, someone who may not have gotten much love in his/her life, or someone who just needs a friend. I've been there before, and I know how much help can really do.

Second of all, the most important thing I've learned is DONT BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. There will be people who need more help than you can provide. There will be people who lash out at you, who lash out at the world. There will be people who pose uncomfortable questions, and there will be times where you don't know what the heck you are talking about. You are not expected to know how to deal with all of these situations. Ask for help! Worst case, redirect the person back to the waiting list, to another specialized person, or a therapist. Sometimes ending a live chat is hard when you feel like the person cannot be satisfied by you. But you are doing the absolute best you can, and your goal on this site is not to get badges, hearts, or positive reviews. It is to help the person in the best way you can, and in some cases, that may include not personally dealing with the situation yourself.

Third of all, DO NOT OVERWHELM YOURSELF!!!! This is SO key to having a good time here on 7Cups. When I first started, I took on as many as 8 people as a time. Not only is this extremely stressful and pressuring on you (you have to remember everyone's situation and respond fast!), this also hurts the person in need. Not only will your response time be slower, but you may not remember the person's situation or get them mixed up. Every person who seeks help on here deserves self care and equal attention. It may feel like your responsibilty to try and help EVERYONE, but give yourself some time, some focus, and some breaks in between to recover :).

Lastly, take care of yourself. If you ever feel overwhelmed, help yourself first. You deserve as much care and affection as everyone on this site.

-LindsaySupport321

Feel free to comment, share, or message me with questions

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User Profile: GentleBlizzard
GentleBlizzard September 19th, 2016

@LindsaySupport321

Upvoted.
I feel like so many listeners need to hear this sometimes ^^

1 reply
User Profile: LindsaySupport321
LindsaySupport321 OP September 19th, 2016

@GentleBlizzard Thanks :) I really hope I can affect some of you out there who are stressed <3

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User Profile: commanderhearteyes
commanderhearteyes September 20th, 2016

@LindsaySupport321 Thanks for sharing. It's such a great post & i bet it'll help a lot listeners to gather confidence to end a conversation or handle not so friendly conversations :) Instantly upvoted!

1 reply
User Profile: LindsaySupport321
LindsaySupport321 OP September 21st, 2016

@commanderhearteyes Thanks so much :) I'm so glad you found this useful! Good luck!

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User Profile: WendyBird15
WendyBird15 October 1st, 2016

Thank you for sharing this!

1 reply
User Profile: LindsaySupport321
LindsaySupport321 OP March 22nd, 2017

@WendyBird15

Hope this helps!

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User Profile: Dawn04
Dawn04 November 2nd, 2016

@LindsaySupport321

Agreed on all points. It's hard to tell yourself to stop taking on more people when you see a long waiting list, but I've had to tell myself it's not worth overwhelming myself and ultimately giving lower quality to those I'm currently in chats with.

2 replies
User Profile: LindsaySupport321
LindsaySupport321 OP March 22nd, 2017

@Dawn04

I went through the same thing! It's amazing when us listeners can relate to eachother and just talk about things <3 Hope this thread helped!

1 reply
User Profile: Dawn04
Dawn04 March 22nd, 2017

@LindsaySupport321

I hope so as well. I think us Listeners sometimes realize we got to cut ourselves a little slack - we need to take care of ourselves and even put ourselves first if we want to help others.

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User Profile: peacefulvibes96
peacefulvibes96 November 3rd, 2016

I try not to take more than 5 chats and change my status to busy or offline when necessary. I think you gave good tips for listeners to remember. I think that making sure you tailor the conversations to what the member is struggling with, as well as being empathetic and understanding is important in one-on-one chats. I also don't hesitate to tell a member if I feel uncomfortable talking about something or suggest they connect to another listener.

2 replies
User Profile: LindsaySupport321
LindsaySupport321 OP March 22nd, 2017

@peacefulvibes96

Excellent point! We should let the member know that he/she is respected, but our needs should be respected too. It's what brings the amazing, friendly environment in 7Cups!

1 reply
User Profile: peacefulvibes96
peacefulvibes96 April 5th, 2017

@LindsaySupport321 Exactly! Respect, comfort, and trust are so important in the member-listener relationship! Establishing those values really makes a big difference. That's what makes 7 Cups a great way to receive support.

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User Profile: Ramon999
Ramon999 November 3rd, 2016

@LindsaySupport321

First paragraph almost teared me down. This is indeed much needed for all the listeners. Appreciate your support!

1 reply
User Profile: LindsaySupport321
LindsaySupport321 OP March 22nd, 2017

@Ramon999

Aw, I hope this helps! Remember to take care of yourself! You're doing an amazing job!

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User Profile: SenpaiXD
SenpaiXD November 3rd, 2016

@LindsaySupport321

<3

1 reply
User Profile: LindsaySupport321
LindsaySupport321 OP March 22nd, 2017

@SenpaiXD

<3

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User Profile: Skyler99
Skyler99 November 3rd, 2016

@LindsaySupport321 Thank you, I needed to see this.

1 reply
User Profile: LindsaySupport321
LindsaySupport321 OP March 22nd, 2017

@Skyler99

I hope this helped! <3

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User Profile: Taimur
Taimur November 3rd, 2016

@LindsaySupport321

Thank you very much for sharing this <3 You are amazing :)

4 replies
User Profile: LindsaySupport321
LindsaySupport321 OP March 22nd, 2017

@Avram

Thank you so much! You are too!

1 reply
User Profile: Taimur
Taimur March 22nd, 2017

@LindsaySupport321

Welcome

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User Profile: Anusha
Anusha March 22nd, 2017

@Avram yes she is!

1 reply
User Profile: LindsaySupport321
LindsaySupport321 OP April 12th, 2017

@AnushaKayastha <3 thank you

you all are so kind

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User Profile: HeideQueen
HeideQueen November 3rd, 2016

@LindsaySupport321 Thanks for this, i'll bookmark this thread and read it everyday <3

1 reply
User Profile: LindsaySupport321
LindsaySupport321 OP March 22nd, 2017

@HeideQueen

I really hope this helps!

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