Forced Positivity

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@River

I despise forced positivity. People are forced to be happy when they don't want to be. They want to show their true feelings but they can't as they will be judged. From personal experience, I hate it when people ask me to be happy especially if I'm having a bad day. I have alot of medical problems, most of them genetic I think. There are people in the family who force postivity and keep on telling me to be optimistic. Little do they know it's hard being me

Hi, @River! Yes, I very much do think forced positivity exists - though I haven't heard it called that before. I have not time to read the article, but I hope to do so in the near future. ~ Platy

I think forced positivity do exist. And sometimes having it shown to us can be really painful especially when you're feeling horrible then you see them all being happy, not knowing the other party was also suffering inside. Didn't know what it was called until now though! Thanks!!

I'm a "tough love" sort of gal.

So, I suppose I don't think the idea being positive is forced in my opinion. When the chips are down, I think it's important to act out of volition, have free will and make choices. When you know that, then things become a lot of more freer and you make healthier decisions. Sometimes people make the decision to take a "break" out of "self-care" but that is still a choice in the end and that's ok but forced positivity is only forced if that approach does not work for the individual in question or situation. And tough love isn't pressing someone's spirit down, it's actually lifting them up and building them - now if that's forced, well sue me ;)

I think forced positivity exists, for sure. I've noticed it a lot in the context of self-help (mindset) and spirituality (Law of Attraction). Usually it gets recommended as a sort of perspective reframing tool to help address worries, insecurities/fears, and unmet desires. Examples:

- I'm broke. / I'm rich in other ways beyond material wealth.

- Dad's dying. / He'll be moving on to a better place.

- I hate my life. / I won't ignore the good parts.

- I'm boring them. / An interesting conversation is a multi-player game.

Like someone mentioned I think forced positivity can be invalidating, especially when the needs of the primary person isn't known. If they want comfort or to vent or to talk through it or to be challenged or to hear an outside opinion matters. Like so many things, beliefs and emotions are multi-faceted, and people arrange them in the narrative (& goals) that best serves them for right now.

The risk with positivity, and the point where it becomes forced (read: unhealthy) I think, is where it doesn't suppprt a person's narrative and goals, disregards their emotions, but gets used anyway.

For example, I tell myself that my conversation skills are weak (narrative) and my goals orient around improving them. Forced positivity would say 'You're great at conversation.' Healthy positivity would say 'The more conversations, the more practice you get.'

One serves better than the other for my sense of well-being.

Forced positivity takes us away from authentically acting how we feel. These discrepancies are what is now believed to be a major contributor to ptsd. To learn more, just watch a couple of YouTube videos on somatic experiencing

Forced positivity with clinically depressed patients has also shown to increase depression.

And people suffering from burn out relapse faster it they don't set a realistic pace.

Impulsive people tend to take more risks.

In short: There are benefits to being positive but some risks as well.

I so much agree with this. I feel how I feel, trying to force happiness when I'm not feeling it just tends to make me bitter and if it's coming from someone else, annoyed with them.

I feel like all listeners should really know about this much more than what many do.

It's not just mental illness where this can be an issue, I think it's true for many difficult situations.

Yes l think forced positivity does exist. I can relate to it. Feels same as faking being alright when you are not.