Accountability essential to practice self-love
Hello lovely Positivity & Gratitude Community! I hope all of you are doing well. Today we are talking about Accountability and how it's one of the main things you need to make sure is taken care of, as you walk the path of self-love.
"Take accountability. Blame is the water in which many dreams and relationships drown." By definition, accountability means the fact of being responsible for what you do and able to give a satisfactory reason for it or the degree to which this happens. I would like to take a step further here and add that even the things you don't do - you are accountable for that. The thing is, the line can be a bit blurry on this one. Doesn't that mean every action or inaction is something we are responsible for? I couldn't help my mum with a task - I am responsible for being a bad daughter and not helping her even though it's only because I didn't have the energy for it. It's hard to do things if you are not in the state of doing them, but holding yourself accountable for such things can mean you are needlessly bringing more suffering for yourself. Accountability for this situation could be, "I wasn't able to help my mum but it's understandable since I was not so well myself. I will make it up to her the soonest." Accountability may mean that you need to incorporate some action (making it up to mum) to make up for the inaction (not being able to help her at a given instance) if it is possible, of course.
How does this relate to self-love?
Self-love begins and ends with unconditional acceptance. Now, acceptance doesn't make things suddenly "okay" but it certainly helps us realize that we have to know in order for change to occur, we have to accept or acknowledge the things we are. We all talk about self-love as being synonymous with treating yourself - to get that extra hour of sleep, eat that extra piece of cake, do things you enjoy doing, etc. but we fail to see here that self-love DOESN’T mean only doing the things you love. Self-love means taking accountability for doing the things that are best for you at the end of the day even if you don’t enjoy doing them. Self-love sometimes is about pushing yourself to do something and not settle with the comfortable feeling you are seeking. It is about scheduling your dentist’s appointment, having a morning routine, saving money, studying hard, doing exercise, wanting meaningful relationships - the daily “basic” things we don’t even care enough to think of? Sometimes self-love is about having those in check.
In order for you to feel self-love, to know that you are your own best friend, to hold your own hand to hold when things get hard, that’s when the real stuff starts getting hard. We all have the perception that self-love means feeling comfortable, it is to say “I love you for who you are” in the mirror. But self-love is so much more. It is going on the walk that you know will make you happy, it’s waking up early even though you like having a sense of control late at night, it’s getting breakfast on time, it is scheduling your time, it is having control over the little things because these little things set the foundation of your whole life and they aren’t so little.
Check-in with yourself. Take a moment and answer these questions. Think over them, make yourself sit down, and reflect on how you've been doing. If you would like, feel free to share your responses with us!
1. Do I spend more time whining or working?
2. Do I more often procrastinate or push forward?
3. Am I envious of others’ achievements or eager to emulate them and learn?
4. Do I live an entitled life or am I excited to earn my own way?
5. Do I tend to point fingers or problem-solve?
6. Do I encourage/praise my family, friends, and coworkers or tear them down?
7. When life doesn’t go my way, do I play the victim or become a victor?
8. Which matters most, others’ opinion of me or my opinion of me?
9. How often do I complain versus offer constructive ideas?
10. Am I wasting energy trying to change others instead of choosing to change myself?
(Sources: these questions were taken from https://www.qbq.com/accountability-core-value/)
Question. What can you do today to take more accountability for the things that are happening in your life and cultivate self-love?
You can't give your life more time, so give the time you have, more life.
Omigoshhhhh @lueurspace , another super amazing post!! *-*
I really liked the connection between accountability and self love . It is also a hard hitting reminder that self love is more than just, saying that you love yourself and doing things that we enjoy , it indeed is also to do things , that we may not enjoy but are good and beneficial for us .
It's a very normalized thing to lose accountability, I feel ,more so with others, we sometimes also are less or no accountable with our own self , which does affect us in some way or the other, agreed!
Mhmm, what can I do today to be more accountable and that can promote self love 😮 I know there's something I've been procrastinating on haha, as guilty I am to admit that , I do want to be more accountable and take action . Thanks for the muchly needed reminder , Luuu !! ❤
Again a set of some very impactful and introspective questions , will get on these soon !! 😃
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Thank you so much for reading it sunnie! 
I am glad you agree it is not only about comfort but may mean pushing ourselves. Yes, I agree that the concept of accountability has been normalized these days, but it's very necessary for us to be held accountable for these things! Aw haha, I hope you can get around to doing the thing you have been procrastinating on! Of course, Sunnie. Always here for you! Good luck with the thing you have to do. This is 2 days older so I am also hoping you were able to get around to it 
Thank you so much for reading and responding! You are awesome!
You can't give your life more time, so give the time you have, more life.
Hi, I agree with everything you wrote in this 100%. All of this, with is a basic concept that so many people do not grasp, have not learned, or, do not want to learn to do, and creates a lot of people's own problems almost all of the time! Living life, the way you discussed it above, is so important! I sure do wish you could post this in big, huge letters in some of those chat rooms.
1. Do I spend more time whining or working? Working--whining is such a waste of time and gets you no where.
2. Do I more often procrastinate or push forward? Push Forward
3. Am I envious of others’ achievements or eager to emulate them and learn? Proud of them for their achievements, then I am egar to emulate them and learn from them.
4. Do I live an entitled life or am I excited to earn my own way? Always expected to earn my own way. We are all responsible for ourselves, for it all and it is up to us to get off of our butt and do what ever we must do to make it, and figure out the best ways to do so.
5. Do I tend to point fingers or problem-solve? Most defintiely, always problem solve. Even if I screw up badly, I learn from it, and gain more knowledge to problem solve better wtih that situation and the next one that comes also.
6. Do I encourage/praise my family, friends, and coworkers or tear them down? Always encourage/praise my family and friends. I love doing this so much for them.
7. When life doesn’t go my way, do I play the victim or become a victor? A victor--what are you going to do...sit on a rock and cry and complain??? NO, get up, realize we don't get all we want in life. It is part of what life is all about.
8. Which matters most, others’ opinion of me or my opinion of me? My opinion of me. But, I am grateful if someone does point out and let me know when and if I am doing something wrong that definitely needs to be changed.
9. How often do I complain versus offer constructive ideas? Constructive Ideas--so helpful and creates positive problem solving.
10. Am I wasting energy trying to change others instead of choosing to change myself? I choose to change myself.
Aw wow you answered all questions here and I love these , you're amazing and so true to yourself @Amelia2324 , much inspiring ❤
Sun, you are also inspiring! I appreciate you noticing. I'm up for the morning, planning more productive things to began doing. Sun, you are truly wonderful, very nice, and so kind. If it were only possible to brighten your day or night for you...
I wish you the best with everything, Sun.
(I am sorry for missing this reply earlier )
Aww thankyou for the kind words my loveliest @Amelia2324 , yes yes it is possible to brighten my day ,how ? Oh well you just did and you do it everytime with your kindness, thoughtfulness, warmth , appreciation and simply by your presence . You're the *best* , thankyou for being *you* . Have a great day/night , dear Amelia . Hugs hugs 🤗❤
@Amelia2324
I am getting around to this super late, but thanks for sharing with us, Amelia!
It truly is very important to live life with accountability because that's the only way one will learn to live. You cannot change something unless you recognize you have the power to take control over it which essentially comes from taking accountability! In a lot of cases we can't change what happens to us, but at the very least, it's up to us for how we let that thing shape us. It seems that you have great self-awareness and are actually doing a great job with making sure it's you who is accountable for the things you do. I love how at some places you share how we can see and actively try to do things for the better. You are amazing! Have a great weekend!
The point is, people improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don't?
I loved this post
It explains what has been on my mind perfectly. I've recently had to come to terms with the fact that I have been and can be a toxic person. I think self love is recognizing that and taking responsibility to work on it.
@tealOrange1014
Hey there, Teal! I hope you are doing well! I am sending you hugs if they are welcome
I appreciate you for reading this post for taking out time to respond to it. I am also happy that my post helped put things that have been in your mind for a while in words perfectly! To accept that we can be toxic with some of our behaviour patterns is so powerful - and I want you to know that it is completely okay. We all have some unhelpful ways we may behave or think sometimes but gosh, to come to accept that? Now that's what we are talking about when we talk of accountability! I completely agree, self-love may not mean that you just love yourself, sometimes it's about knowing that some parts of you still need work but you are worth the work it takes to improve! I appreciate this response so much, Teal!
The point is, people improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don't?
@lueurspace
1. Do I spend more time whining or working? Bit of both 
2. Do I more often procrastinate or push forward? I would say more push forward. I do have my moments when i do not want to postphone
3. Am I envious of others’ achievements or eager to emulate them and learn? I used to be when i was younger envious but as i grew older i learnt to be more appreciative and comfortable giving credit :)
4. Do I live an entitled life or am I excited to earn my own way? Difficult question to answer 
5. Do I tend to point fingers or problem-solve? A bit of both.
6. Do I encourage/praise my family, friends, and coworkers or tear them down? A bit of both but not intentionally for the second one. Im open to taking accountability.
7. When life doesn’t go my way, do I play the victim or become a victor? I just say well ...there are better things destined for me or its not my time yet.
8. Which matters most, others’ opinion of me or my opinion of me? A bit of both and it depends on the context
9. How often do I complain versus offer constructive ideas? Do not know.
10. Am I wasting energy trying to change others instead of choosing to change myself? Not sure
Thank you for the questions. They involve a lot of reflection and for an opportunity to expose us for what we really are lol. You have made a very thought-provoking post. You realy have.