The Power of Trying
We introduced Sharing Circle in March 2020. The thought behind building something like a Sharing Circle was to provide a more structured, uninterrupted, and supportive environment for everyone to share their feelings and experiences.
But the Sharing Circle wasn’t the outcome of overnight efforts. It was a result of something that the community and teams were thinking and trying to create like that for countless months. All we're trying and giving our best efforts every day. I remember the day when our Academy Dean - Hope drafted the Sharing Circle Script and we went through many edits before the final piece was ready to use for the first Sharing Circle Session. It was the outcome of constant attempts.
Similarly, the same applies to our lives. Life happens every day. Probably some of you may have experienced the worst day at work, some of you experienced anxiety, some going through depression episodes, some facing the impact of traumatic experiences, and some had a breakup and a gazillion other events that made you feel like, “That’s it”. For everyone, even though it looks like different events took place, it is a rough time for one. And yes that’s it! We need to activate the power of trying.
Now many of us think about what is trying and why should we even try if nothing happened in all these years, what is the point of trying now? But there is a point. The point is to improve, to change for the better, to have a less complicated life.
I see trying as something like a seed. If you sow a coriander seed, it is not going to give you potato or coffee. Even though I like coffee and I wish coriander seed could give it. But no. You reap what you sow. Period.
Hereby seed means defining what you need to work on. Your goals. Defining them as clearly as possible. Because when you know what you need to work on, you put your efforts in the right direction. But if it is not clear then even if you put in the effort, it won’t get you anywhere as you may be unaware of your efforts are in the opposite or right direction. This is why it is important to define the seed you are sowing.
When you sow this seed, you take your first step towards creating something new. And after that, all the efforts you make every day will help your plant to grow. And the final plant that we see is the compound effect of the attempts you made every single day. That’s the power of trying!! When things go south, you do not stop. You make another improved try. Because you are determined to create something better.
The goal of this post is to remind all of us that if things went south today, it is okay and you are not alone. Let’s try again tomorrow!! And keep trying with the consideration that the growth timeline of your plant is different than mine or anyone else, and so the amount of trying too.
I know I probably do not know you. I do not know what you are going through and can’t even imagine how you are holding up right now. I do not know what pain you are in and how much you are hurting. But, if it eases your pain a bit, please know you are not alone who are having a hard time right now. We all are having our experiences. Maybe not similar but we all do. But I know that I believe in you and me that we can get through whatever obstacle or challenge we are having right now.
Success stories and media often paint a picture of instant success. We know this isn’t true or realistic. People are successful because they work for it. Thomas Edison said, “the more hard work I put in, the luckier I get” (paraphrased). Trying is absolutely critical to any sort of healing, growth, or success. Trying - really trying - is what enables you to make real progress.
Also, sometimes at school, you can see kids picked on for being earnest or trying. They don’t look as “cool” as some of the other kids. Well, I think trying is cool and transparent trying is even cooler. It is how we become stronger.
All you need is to unlock the power of trying. And for that, you need to start trying. We are trying. The Community is trying. Leaders and listeners are trying. Members are trying. I am trying. Every single person across teams is trying, and through our collective efforts, it creates a chain reaction. We try, we fail, we learn, and then gradually we succeed in trying to achieve better results than before, focused to create a better version of whatever we are working on right now or the next item and so on. If you are trying, you’re always winning, and that’s the power of never giving up.
And here I leave all of us with this question to ponder upon!
Can you think of a time you tried really hard? How did that impact your results?
@ASilentObserver
I had it pretty tough when I was young. No one understood me. I was made to believe things that weren't true. Lied to taken advantage of no role models led in the wrong direction peer pressure there wasn't eaven a diagnosis for the condition I have.......anyway....I was told I had potential, had no idea what that was but later I figured out maybe I should just do it for myself give something I thought I couldn't do a real try.
When I did try what it was that I wanted to do it worked out. REALLY SURPRISING
There was this question on here once but I didn't get it at the time
"Is it better to try and fail or not try at all" well I guess I just gave my answer now
I felt a sense of accomplishment I never had before
Guess what I'm trying to say is. Doing something for or because of someone else, besides my closest, never worked for me, I had to do for self.
I'm no high achiever at all but that's what I experienced. Just wanted to share some positivity
@ASilentObserver
I have found that the concept of “trying” is often overrated or preemptively judged. From my perspective, it tends to automatically come with a positive or caring connotation.
However, I have encountered within my life, as well as observed through the experiences of others where they felt obligated by the sheer concept of trying. They felt an expectation or pressure, a definite sense of judgment before any output whatsoever, and feared “having,” “needing,” “being told,” “or even the suggestion” to try.
As I process my own feelings about times when I “tried really hard,” I will say that these moments were certainly accompanied by feelings of anxiety and fear. Anxiety of the tasks associated with trying, fear of the steps or energy required, fear of less than desired or unexpected results and fear of direct failure. I can also say that these ominous feelings accompanied my efforts at a minimum of 67% (2/3) of the time.
Mind you, the outcomes matter on a minor level for me. It is the expectation which occurs preceding the result which takes priority. Even when highly lauded for a successful outcome, or when I personally feel my trying has been of good effect. I find it difficult to give much credit to “the try.” Trying, in my opinion, is simply a necessary evil. Good, bad, easy, difficult, hard effort or mediocre.
It happened with me as well
Though I just keep trying
It took me 5 years to finish highschool. I have a learning disorder and that didn't stop me from graduating. I tried and l made it!
@SilentObserver,
in itself well written.
instead of The Power of Trying, I'd rather apply The Power Of Believe.
Why?
This year I have been trying very hard to get more emotionally balanced. I tried myself hard. Hard work, I made enormous progress. Pushing my self. Trying too hard. I was already in emotional overload.
So, I'd say I was rather successful in itself. However, I tried too hard, and that backfired. I paid a price and trying to hard (while rather successful) was a major part of that price.
Because I forgot to trying coming from within my true self. I lacked believe, not enough believe to be aware of HOW I was trying, HOW that felt and this be able to see if there where other/better options.
Looking back, yes, there were better options.
Nothing wrong with trying, but base it on believe in true self. If you try from within true self, you will never push yourself too hard. Always be aware, not of WHAT you are trying to achieve but WHY.
You could maybe say, look before you leap.
Warmth and love to all.
I am so unbelievably and completely lost, scared, confused and pretty broken down right now. I don't even know where to begin and i am on a timer. I struggle with mental illness and addiction and after 20 years of this, I'm ready to just give up. I just don't know what to do at this point. I am so sorry to bother everyone but is there anyone that can help me? I don't know how to do this alone and i need help.
@StephMarie31 Hi! i just want to tell you that i do care about your feelings... i know we don't know each other but i can relate of how bad those feelings can be. Don't be sorry for sharing your struggles. It takes so much bravery to be open about it.
I have depression too... and somedays... life is unbearable... so... i understand.
if there's something that i can do to help you i'm open to listen to you. Maybe isn't much, but i'm here.
@dukeofdearham
I related to what you said about trying too hard and it seems not to work out all the time. I also believe that the power of believing in yourself is just as important or more so. But the two go hand in hand. it is not one or the other or one instead of the other. Depression sucks all the belief of myself out of me. It's only through a sense of accomplishment can I start to believe in myself. That's the real reward. The power of trying leads to the power of believing in yourself.
You've worked HARD on things and with that came some sense self belief AND that is beautiful. You/We deserve that. Thanks for reminding us to believe in ourselves.
@IsayUncle.
I look at it in a different way.
No believe, no trying.
One might think that by trying you (start to) believe in yourself (again). Trying howver is based on believe, you might not be aware of it but when you try, it is believe that is always in the background.
Trying not based on believe is doomed for failure.
@dukeofdearham
I see your point and I'll agree you have a much better chance of success with belief.
What do you do when you come across something you don't believe you can do? Do you just not even try?
Great topic👍
I believe we have a chicken or egg (which came first) conversation going on. HeHe
Have a good night.
@IsayUncle,
well, right now there is something I have to succeed in. I have no choice.
So I try.
I don't really feel confident though, having tried before and failing.
I find it hard to believe in myself.
I have to.
What makes it hard too is that a lot of people I thought that cared have ignored me instead of reaching out and just telling me they feel sorry for me/us.
So what I try is to remind myself that I am not how others (especially my wife) perceive me and that I am still am who I truly am, and that I never should doubt my true self.
If I don't allow to belief in my true self, then trying is useless.
@dukeofdearham ,
@IsayUncle
Very interesting observation about Believe and Trying . I can understand both your viewpoints and concepts. I think our personal experiences, our thought patterns and our intellect also influences our way of reasoning out with our core Self.
@faithlove1111,
I try to be aware and be present, and act from within, not through my thoughts and emotions. As those tend to be not really helpful.
@dukeofdearham
YES... From this perspective, you are 100% right. You must believe in yourself. You must believe you can do it when all the nay-Sayers are doubting you. Try not to get angry at the nay-Sayers because they're vision is short sighted. You sound like a highly motivated and intelligent person. It would be wonderful to have someone who believed with us but I've learned (for me) I'm on my own journey and you are 100% right... I believe what I'm trying to do will work, and at the core, that's what keeps me going.
If you want, share with me what your current goal, challenge or idea is. I'm trying to do stuff too and fighting depression really messes up the timetable. But I believe I'm going in the right direction.
@dukeofdearham
Hey Duke, Lets talk more. I need help doing something too. I really need to succeed at this. For 20 years I thought I was an important cog in my family and my wife would always tell how much everyone hated my guts. I never believed her until we separated and I saw how isolated I really was. It breaks my heart everyday all day long that no one understood the good things I was trying to do. It breaks my heart even more that I so grossly failed to uplift the people I loved. I no longer talk to them, not of anger or hatred but shame and confusion. I have to succeed at this thing so I can begin to re-introduce myself.
I would like to talk to someone about believing, trying and succeeding. I don't know if you'd be interested but that's part of my story and I felt we might have some common ground. I've been down for four days and today I MUST pull myself out of this pathetic mire I've allowed myself to slip into.
I've learned Honesty is not the best policy in a social circle, but I never learn. Too much information I'm sure but I'm ok. Back into the fray today.
I hope you do have a great day.
@ASilentObserver, I can think of many times I tried really hard. One that comes to mind is exercising. I got up every other day at 4am to work out. It really reshaped my body and gave me the foundation for being physically strong all my life.
For me its being open online to say I'm not like others and making songs putting it online to remember it too, is one of the powers of trying.etc therapy.
@ASilentObserver
The phrase -The Power of Trying , got me thinking about this :
1 What drives us to take the bold step to try something new or to go out of our comfort zone to try something new.
2. What makes us to keep trying and trying even when we encounter obstacles, hardship, frustrations even failure.
What compels or drives us to embrace The Power of Trying.? I feel if it comes from our inner self , the power is well fuelled and we have the control to make adjustments and fine tune our mind and actions as we try.
If the power is based externally , for example a worker is told to follow a course because he might get promoted if he attends it , although he is not interested in the course but he forces himself to attend it and alas, he is not promoted. So this worker might be agitated, disappointed and upset because his effort , his power of trying , was not successful or rewarded. But from the very beginning , if this worker has reason out or accepted that he is going to give the course a try because he wants to, he chose to , because he is willing to give it a try inspite of the out come then, he has converted the power of trying from external to internal.
I have gone through this type of reasoning whenever i face challenging situations. It helps and i enjoy the process of trying. I still have issues in wanting the outcome to be as i like but i am excersing and practising the Power of Acceptance. That helps a lot.
@faithlove1111
Very well written.
I always try really hard and sometimes it makes the situation worse.
I'm currently trying to figure out the best way to speak to a teenager living in our house so I can be treated with respect.
Unfortunately any discussion I do have with her are few and far between and somehow we end up arguing.
@powerfulEast1407
I hope you get respect you deserve, East
respect is like food we eat, or shelter we rest/sleep in....very important and even though the teen is young (not discriminating, just stating facts) thats no excuses...hope things improve !!
Had an lovely walk up loch leven larder with Des today and i had an lovely wee catch up and it's good to see myself putting myself to get out and speak to people about my mental health and its been the hardest thing to do since i left the army but its okay to speak and come on people let's beat this mental health and stick together to beat this mental health #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness
Thanks for such a great picture. It's beautiful. I also have a hard time talking to people but somehow it's easier or me here than it is for those I wish to be close too. Easier for me to expose some of my lesser parts you might say. AND it really helps to unload them a bit.
@IsayUncle
I'd like to make a correction / clarification... when i said, "for those I wish to be close to" I should have added, "for those I wish to be close to but have been rejected by". I've made friends here that I continue to stay close to and wish to make more. I hope you find some real comradery here to. Please keep checking in and let us know how you're doing.