Images and portrait photos

@PhoenixButterfly97

Hi, Butterfly!

Thank you for coming here and for your prompt answer! This is lovely of you!

How good that you keep images of them, so you can see them often!

And that these photos captured many happy moments you enjoyed with them.

I remember you told us in a previous check-in how much you miss them.

I hope that watching these photographs of those happy moments with them brings you some solace and is comforting to you.

Thank you again for coming to this check-in so promptly! I am grateful for that.

All the best, Butterfly!

See you around here soon!

Marcelo.

@Tinywhisper11

How sad, Lola!

They were so cruel, they didn't even let you know his final place, nor keep a picture.

I hope that you can keep vivid images of him that you can project in your mind, of the best moments you had with him.

I hope that those images might comfort you in some way.

Maybe you can find other ways to represent him, like the cross next to the tree.

Something that connects both of you from the physical to the spiritual realm.

Both the tree and the cross are powerful symbols of life beyond any demise.

That all who suffered will be comforted in the end.

May justice, peace and love ultimately prevail.

Cherish the images of him that you treasure in your mind.

Much love, Lola!

I will pray for him and for you.

💜 💜 💜

@Aubreyssneakers

It's wonderful that you have those photos portraying him as the radiant person he was.

And that you watch them often!

His bright smile surely reflects the great person he was.

Holding to those images might be a beautiful way to keep his spirit alive in your heart. May his warmth and love continue bringing you comfort and strength in these sad times.

Though it's hard, I hope that you find moments of peace and solace, and that you start feeling better little by little.

Grieving takes time, be kind and patient with yourself.

You are very welcome to share about it in this community.

I wish you all the best in your journey!

See you around here soon!

Marcelo.

@ScorchedRice

How good to have you here again, ScorchedRice, and sorry for my delay in answering you.

I am impressed with the clear understanding you have of the very complex situations you lived.

Your life story is very moving.

I can imagine how devastating might have been to lose both your mother and your father within less than a year. And I assume it was not long ago.

You seem to have dealt with such a tremendous hit in a very healthy way. with much clarity, understanding and awareness of your feelings, and those of your father while he was alive.

In this context, it's striking what an important role images played. How powerful they can be, to the point of being overwhelming.

A controlled exposure to photos of your parents might be comforting, and more so with the passage of time.

But too much might be overwhelming and hurtful, crushing you with sadness. Not helpful at all.

So you were very wise in how you managed it. I admire you for that.

It seems that for your father grief was unbearable. And maybe cultural values played a role. Like not becoming "weak". And the ideal of "no attachment", that we should not feel attached to anything, not even our loved ones. For example, I have great respect and learned a lot from the teachings of the Buddha, but this aspect of his teachings always troubled me.

You have overcome and transcended that family and perhaps cultural pattern, achieving a very balanced approach, which accepts exposing yourself to images and objects that might comfort you but might also bring yousome sadness.

Like you see how healthy is to feel the natural emotions arising from real life, as sad as it might be, instead of trying to impose a fake indifference and dispassion.

I personally esteem authenticity as the highest value, even over happiness.

And from your previous, so unique and somehow fun story about the scorched rice, and this much more serious, tough, and finally melancholic account of how you navigated grief, I came to admire you a lot as a sensitive, balanced, authentic person.

A great achievement given the huge losses you suffered, the following upheaval, drastic changes in your life, and your young age.

So, all my admiration to you, and my wishes that such a jewel of a person, as you are, might build a great life full of peace and joy, and achievemets of the goals you set for yourself.

I feel privileged to have met you here.

I hope to see you around here soon, even for egotistic reasons, as you are so inspiring to me.

All the best, ScorchedRice!

Please keep in touch!

Marcelo.

@SparkyGizmo

Hi Sparsky!

I am sorry for such an unforgivable delay in answering you... 🙁

And thank you for your kind words!

I am glad that you have found this post so interesting.

To tell you the truth, I was surprised at the richness and depth of this topic, expressed in very thoughtful and subtle posts like yours.

How different people have so diverse experiences with images, with diverse meanings and impacts on them. With very good reasons in each case.

It's clear that you are very aware of the power of images and their strong influence on your wellbeing.

How some images are nourishing and comforting and others might be toxic, even triggering painful emotions.

I loved how you described the ways you honor the memory of loved ones who had a positive, healthy influence on your life.

And your wisdom, courage and determination to get rid of "valuable" objects that don't add value or might even be detrimental to your wellbeing. The idea is simple, but putting it into practice is hard, a great challenge almost impossible for most people.

So by making this effort (that most of us don't) you keep healthy your environment. In particular, you have a very nuanced and conscious management of your visual surroundings

It's remarkable how you have devised a thoughtful way of disarming the hurting effect of images from some negative people in your past, at the same time that you acknowledge they existed as part of your history. Like taking out the venom of poisonous animals so they become harmless, but you don't kiII them.

And how you respect the right of new generations to have records of their ancestry, as part of their identity. It will be for them to decide whether to visit the darkest branches of the tree. You have eased their way by taking out the most hurting thorns.

I also loved how you create value by relocating out of your house objects that might be emotionally draining for you, but might be an energizing source of enjoyment for someone else. Like an alchemist who turns lead into gold.

It's all an expression of your great spiritual fitness, I think, of knowing well what things nourish you and which are toxic, what to do about each of them, and having the determination and strength to actually do it, overcoming the natural tendencies and inertia to avoid it, the standard pattern for most of us.

I am impressed at how much I learned about you from an apparently very narrow topic. Amazing isn't it?

How it revealed your wisdom, strength and determination to do what it takes to live a good life.

I can't hide that I admire you for that.

Thank you for coming here, and taking the time and reflection to explain so clearly your very inspiring experiences and ways of doing things.

*high fives* 😊 and big *hugs* !!! 💜

See you soon around here!

Marcelo

💜 💜 💜

@ghettosmurf

Hi again!

You are very much welcome here!

Creating a bedside memorial, and incorporating a life-size photograph of your son into your family activities are beautiful ways to cherish and keep his memory present in your life. 

Grief is a unique and individual experience, and finding ways to remember and honor your son, that are meaningful to you, is the best way to move forward while grieving, I think.

Memorials and tangible reminders can provide comfort and a sense of closeness to the person we've lost. It's about finding what helps you cope, heal, and feel connected to your son in a way that's meaningful for you.

I congratulate you for conceiving significant ways to honor the memory of your beloved son, and actually putting them into practice.

Those are beautiful expressions of an intense love that perdures no matter what.

They show how much you love your son and what a great person you are expressing this intense and perduring love.

Thank you again for coming here to share your experiences and feelings.

Your words are very valuable to us.

@ghettosmurf

Your contributions are very valuable.

Many people who are grieving come to this forum but they don't post nor upvote, they just read and get comfort and inspiration from the existing posts.

Your contributions are at the same time inspiring and contain ideas of things that might be very helpful to people who are grieving. 

So, yes, you are helping many people by posting your experiences and feelings here.

All our gratitude to you for that!

@greyflowers

Hi, GreyFlowers!

I totally agree with @smallsy and you.

As I understand it, grief is an emotion, mostly very intense sadness and longing, caused by the loss of someone with central importance in our lives, a loss that leaves a huge void, and that we deem permanent.   

Grieving is going through this intense sadness, slowly coming to terms with the fact that this loss, which left such a huge void, is irreversible, this is the new reality forever.

The way in which we lost this person is not the point, I think, The point is the fact of the irreversible loss and the huge void.

This emotion can arise also from losing other things that are central to our lives. And it can come in various intensities or degrees according to the circumstances.

@smallsy thank you. i agree. and at the moment no, in terms of someone who is no longer in my life.