Lost my Baby Sister 8 months ago
I lost my 28 year old baby sister 8 months ago which was sudden and unexpected due to having to much alcohol intake while her anxiety/antidepressant was in her system. She was a single mother of a 5 year old boy and my heart breaks for him everyday! I still have not really come to terms with my sisters death and don’t really think I ever will. It has really triggered my anxiety and depression very bad and my meds have stopped working (trying to address that but doctors appointments are a pain to try and get in a timely manner).
I find it hard sometimes to concentrate at work due to this, which I work with dangerous machines and deadly chemicals so I worry that one day I’ll slip up due to my mind not being focused on the task at hand. I understand crying is a part of the healing process but I haven’t really felt much healing. I noticed the crying is less frequent but the pain is with me everyday. I really don’t know what to do or where to start to feel better, not really sure at this point if you ever really truly move forward from losing a sibling so young with so much potential, that was just ripped away I just am having a hard time comprehending this! It hurts so bad because every time I continue on to live life I feel like I’m betraying my sister because I’m older, she should be the one still here with her little boy!
I am very sorry to what happened to you.
it is a long journey but I hope … I don’t even know what to say. I know how it feels, but trying not to process it makes it worst. Will you be able to take some time off from work
@Bmxertrav- I hope you are getting the support needed during this time. It is OK to know you will never accept her death. No one says you have to. Grief and loss like you are experiencing is overwhelming. Take each day one at a time. Be gentle to yourself, you deserve it. Many hugs to you. 😥
While it breaks my heart that your nephew is without her, I’m glad that he has you in his life. A person who feels so deeply and is such a sweet person. I hope your family is sharing your pain and that you can all console each other. You mentioned something about depression meds. I’m wondering if you could get help here for that. Just know that we are all here for you and you shouldn’t have to feel guilty for living. I’m sure she would have wanted for you to be happy as you would have wanted her to always be. Sometimes elders leave first and sometimes it’s the other way around. Stay strong. Every time you miss your sister, you can remember your nephew as a precious gift from her. Stay safe. Your life is a gift
@Bmxertrav I am so sorry for your loss. Please know you have every right to feel the emotions you feel. Losing a sibling is hard. I, too, have had to endure the death of a siblings so just know you are not alone! Take all the time in the world to cope and heal. That's your right. You also have the right to grieve in any way you like and for how long you like. Death is not easy. I am so sorry you feel guilty that you are alive as the older sibling while she ceases to exist. That's not your fault and beyond your control. I can't imagine the pain your nephew must feel losing his mom so young. I know you may be missing your sister but you are so blessed that you have a sweet reminder of your sister right before you! Her son is apart of her. I hope one day you are able to find comfort, healing, and peace! Sending hugs your way if that's OK!
