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The Grief I feel

User Profile: hannahdeftones
hannahdeftones October 12th, 2025

I’ve seen lots of posts about people who grieve for people. For loved ones, and I feel so sad reading all those and I’m sorry for all of every single persons loss.

But out of curiosity I wanted to share mine with you people and o wanted to ask, do you also feel those griefs?

I grieve a vision of myself that has never existed, like a person u never were and that youre never going to be. I grieve for looking at myself in a good way. Not worrying about a kg, not worrying about grades, not worrying about achievements or anything.

I grieve feelings ive never experienced. I wanna know how it feels being on a drug which makes me feel some kind of thing I grieve for.

I grieve moments that maybe should’ve went different, or that should’ve felt different. I grieve the pain, the cry’s I let out when I self harm, everytime I try to recover. The safe feeling I get from things I know that r bad for me.

I grieve a weird type of love that ive never been able to feel. I can’t describe what it is, but it’s not the kind of love that leaves but the kind I never let myself believe I deserved. I grieve softness which I won’t let trough my doors, which I harden.

And probably the most grieve success.

It’s probably normal, or am I tweaking?

2
User Profile: Clio9876
Clio9876 October 12th, 2025

@hannahdeftones

There are all valid griefs that I relate to very strongly.

Grieving for the version of me that will never exist. 

It's a heavy burden to bear.

User Profile: listeningcalico1055
listeningcalico1055 October 26th, 2025

@hannahdeftones "Thank you so much for sharing such a deeply personal and honest post. I want to assure you that you are not 'tweaking' at all—what you are describing is a very real and valid form of grief.

Grief isn't just about losing a person; it's about the loss of any significant part of life, and that absolutely includes the loss of a potential future, a hoped-for identity, or desired experiences.

What you're feeling is sometimes referred to as ambiguous loss or disenfranchised grief, because it's a loss that isn't openly acknowledged by society, which can make it feel isolating.