What now?
TW!! Suicide
I’m 16 and I lost my oldest brother to suicide about a month ago. It was on May 29, 2025. We had his funeral last week. I carried the casket with my family. Life has been *** lately and I don’t know what to do anymore. I miss him so much. He was my everything and was the one person that I felt truly safe with. He is the best person I’ll ever know. Life has been crazy but I don’t really feel like getting into that. Just right now, I don’t know what to do. Where do I go from here? I’m so lost and clueless. Everyone is telling me, “you’re not supposed to do anything,” but I need to do something. I can’t just sit here and feel miserable for the rest of my life. I need to do something to better myself but I don’t know what. I’m in therapy, I’m keeping up with hobbies, staying close to friends even though it’s hard, I’m still going out, I’m doing all I can. But there’s something more that I need to do but I don’t know what it is. I need the next step. I’m stuck in the middle of the last two stages being depression and acceptance. I don’t know if I can accept this. I know it’s real even though nothing feels real to me right now. I know he’s still around in spirit and that he’s happy now. Those parts I’ve accepted. But I’m stuck partly in the depression part where I can’t ever feel right. I can’t feel normal. I feel incomplete. Like there’s a gaping hole in my heart. I need something to fill it. I can’t keep going with this hole in my heart. How do I feel it? How do I feel better? How do I feel okay again? I’m doing all I can but nothing is working. Please help.
@Voodvins
Thank you
@BeAlive97
Yeah, I just am looking to when it gets better but so far haven’t seen anything. Thank you though
I am so sorry for your loss , I know how hard it is , I lost my dad to suicide March 25 and I found him . It is such a terrible thing . You’re doing way better then I am you still keep up with hobbies and friends . I don’t even barely get out of bed . You’re a very strong person and I am proud of you . I just want to feel normal again and happy because what I am feeling right now is terrible horrible and everything in between. . I know you will get through this. Keep your head up hugs and kisses xoxoxo
@kawasakiKRT400rr
Thank you, sending love your way
Hi @Ashley2508 ... I haven’t read all the other posts (only yours), so I’m sorry if this has already been suggested and didn’t work. I am sure you will find something. When my father died (decades ago) in a sort of traumatic way, I completely shut down. I took about 3 or 4 days off for the funeral and stuff, but then I was back into training right away (I was a competitive gymnast).
@FaithfulScout
Thank you, I’ve tried all of those and so far no luck. But thank you for the advice.
@Ashley2508 don't harm yourself talk to someone
In talking to people but nobody knows what to. I’ve tried everything and nothing works.
Am so sorry for your loss I lost my mom recently in may 2025 n since then I fell my life will never be the same again it crushed me in a way that I can’t even explain I feel your pain deeply in my heart n I hope God gives us the strength to cope with this grief because at the moment I am not able to cope with it 💔
Am so sorry for your loss I lost my mom recently in may 2025 n since then I fell my life will never be the same again it crushed me in a way that I can’t even explain I feel your pain deeply in my heart n I hope God gives us the strength to cope with this grief because at the moment I am not able to cope with it 💔
@Ashley2508
I lost my husband just over a month ago, in circumstances that could have been suicide. I'll never know.
This resonated a lot:
"Everyone is telling me, “you’re not supposed to do anything,” but I need to do something. I can’t just sit here and feel miserable for the rest of my life."
I hear "Take your time" a lot. Time to do what? Am I supposed to just sit still doing nothing til a certain time has elapsed? How does that help?
The thing is, we want to fix this. Fix the hole, fix the loss, get them back. And I believe this is the drive behind the need to do something. But of course, we can't fix this. Nothing we can do will bring them back. There is nothing to do. And this reality is the pits.
I think, in time, you'll find little things that do help. Maybe only help for a few moments, but that's a few moments of life achieved. And gradually, those moments will build into a new life.
I'm here, to sit with you in the moments when you don't know what to do. Because I'm probably sat here, not knowing what to do either.
Love and hugs.