I think every Group Moderator already knows what's been shared here. There will always be members, guests and even listeners that will try to cross the line. As Moderators, we can give warnings or invite the troublesome chatters to PM.

We all know that muting users or deleting comments are not privileges. These are steps or processes that we need to do in order to keep the chatrooms safe for everyone. The important thing to remember is that deleting messages and muting people should always be the last resorts. Aside from that, I think we are all good.

Stay awesome everyone!!!

One thing that I find useful is to explain in the room why Iam asking that person to behave in a certain way. As @Chrissy said, I won't say "LANGUAGE!" but rather say "Please don't try to get around the censors, as they are there for a reason and we want to leep the rooms as supportive and welcoming as possible :)"

Inevitably, there will be times when members are still not okay with this. At that point, I open my private messages to them. I tell the member that I would be delighted to discuss this privately, or that they are free to register their complaint with the site, because we are always looking for improvement (and I always make sure to reassure them that we do look for improvements), but that we need to keep the room supportive and not derail it with opinions of the rules.

I have found that this can help with the members who feel that mods are abusing their power. I did have member specifically who is consistently rude to moderators. I warned the member in the room to please remember to be respectful to everyone in the room, and then I asked the member if they would like to message me. We got into a discussion about why this member has their feelings about moderators and i think it was very informative for us both. It gave the member a chance tofeel heard and to learn a little more about how moderators, or at least me as a moderator, act and think.

Message of Deep Concern

As an ex-Moderator I would very much like to have my say in this matter(not here to discuss the removal of my badge, by the way) as I no longer have anything at stake. I would not speak out so fervently otherwise.

I have twoquestions to ask:

"To what extent do Moderators have authority, when members/guests can just make a new account instantly?"

I applaud the efforts of the current Moderators, who day in, day out protect the community from any potential danger and insecurity to the site. However I am also very concerned for them. I have witnessed (and this is not just to myself) on many occasions when Moderators have politelyreminded members/listeners of the rules for them to be challenged, mocked, or insulted.

The most common example of this is the interpretation of Chatroom Rule Number 6:

"Please refrain from using any abusive, graphic or inappropriate language."

In my opinion the lack of clarity from this rule leaves room for interpretation, and discussion. Members/listenershave challenged/mocked/insulted Moderators many times for simply requesting that members do not swear. The most frequent (and innocuous) challenge is when members/listeners respond with:"I don't think anybody is offended in here".This then puts the Moderator in a very difficult position. Either the Moderator's reaction to this is:"Okay well if anyone is offended by this, please let me know"or further enforcement of the rules, to which then they inherit the title of the "power hungry Mod".Furthermore, the lack of clarity in the rule leads the members/listeners to challenge the Moderator on who gets to decide what inappropriate is. This inevitably results in conflict unless the Moderator permits the members/listeners to dictate the use of language in the room.

Apologies for the elaborate example, I must now return to my main point.

What I must emphasise is that when members or guest users can return instantly after having been muted by a Moderator, it discernibly weakens the severity of the mute.This then means that the best way of a Moderator to avoid conflict is to be more liberal and for the Moderator to be somewhat socially desirable to the members/listeners.

The underlying message I wish to give on this point, if no other is that the threat from members of "do as we say or we'll reportyou" (which by the way can be done on multiple accounts per person) is far, far, stronger than Moderators saying "please be respectful to others in the room, that is your first warning".

I would like to see the muting system become more rigorous if possible, as well as more clarification in the Chatroom rules regarding language.

My next question:

"Is the biggest threat to the community between members/listeners and Moderators the Moderators who mute without warning, or members/listeners complaining to Moderators about other Moderators?"

I must say there is a great amount of stigma in the chatroomsamong the Moderators, with the key theme being Moderators who "mute without warning". Now whilst I wouldn't want to be callously dismissive of any chances of this happening, I must stress that there is always another side to the story.

When members/listeners discuss their mutingsin the Chatrooms, this permeates an attitude of apathy, resentment, and mistrust towards the Moderators. Almost inevitably this shall be confirmed by a tone of defensiveness from either other members/listeners and sometimes other Moderators. Most Moderators, pleasingly, have reminded the listeners/members that they are not allowed to discuss mutes, however some act immediately sympathetically, and whilst this appearssupportive, it causes further detriment and stigma to other to 1) That particular Moderator 2) Moderators who are not so lenient in the rules.

Members/listeners are most likely to respond indignantly with "But I'm just saying how I feel, I feel very hurt by this", to which some Moderators will then show sympathy (to which I do not blame, as the instinct is to be defensive and caring). I do not blame Moderators at all for this, as they are hard workingcaring people.

If I must leave with a clear, strong message, it is that Moderators need more dignity and respect, and the current system denies them of that.

I believe I have sufficiently argued why, and I look forward to any and all responses. Thank you.

@MelAllyouneedislove @iListenIdontJudgeIcare@Harleen98 @chioo @MrMeNr1 @RainbowDragon @Sarahthepenguin1 @ZachGrandinetti@Humnah3 @Zaz @aparnakher @Chaliercy @DauntlessDylan @frankixoxo @Gemma8483@iListenIdontJudgeIcare @Jace98 @Jacobisheretohelp @JJill2 @Kayrosesnowflake @KendallNichole @mediocalcure @michaelahelps @Mikayla1000@Softball900 @SophieZhang9805 @sophiee21 @Stephz @SuperMark @tahleeheretohelp @therapinto @RainbowandSunshine @Avyukta @izza @Silentlistener97 @Aishaaa_ @OrunLeon @Resisti @Gemma8483 @Sparkleofhope @KendallNichole @MelAllyouneedislove @letmefixyou96 @Ringingbells2015 @littlepony @Mikayla1000 @Jessica @Sarah @Heather @Pali @Lynnie @frankixoxo @InfiniteSusana @Rachie39 @Niko @MathiasS @PoeticPuzzle @Pinkbluebells@mobbsy @amobachata @michaelahelps @SirJJelly @lovelyOcean54 @spftball900 @Jacobisheretohelp @iWhiteFire @Sunburst223 @guidingMusic @DauntlessDylan @gentleBeauty79 @ringingbells2015 @crazyislovely @Aishaaa_ @Hatred @Sinivaal @KeepOnSmiling @IWhiteFire @Jadetherose @StayStrongDarling08 @SummerMorgan @Frankixoxo @OrunLeon @ChrisE @Jessica @Kane @Pali @Lukas @Annalia @Evi @Pam @Roadie @Maku @Flourish @Cadence @Apple74 @Justin @JustinRarrr @Farheen @Jaelin @Jake @Sarah @Noasu @Iara @SoulSurfer @samc95xc @Mobbsy @EmmaGrace @Aishaaa_ @MelAllyouneedislove @letmefixyou96 @KeepOnSmiling @Resisti @Slientlistener97 @sweetBlueberry19 @Pinkbluebells @MathiasS @Gerogie4 @AdvenuRin @EmpatheticDude @Chaliercy @Lynnie @PoeticPuzzle @poeticguy @Niko @SophieZhang9805 @littlepony @Sparkleofhope @Randy_ @iWhiteFire @Chrissy @Aventurina @Jacobisheretohelp @Pnbamaina @Ibiihere @Harleen98 @Scarlet25 @OrunLeon@Laura @Heather @GlenM @Resisti@Eme @Angelwings @BlindOctopusLove @QuickJazz@Nazeera@Johnny20 @SwordsandPens@DanielJPhillipe @MissZ @Annie01 @hopefulTree78@ShayneX@Angelwings2@Param

(Apologies if I have tagged you more than once, by the way)

@Juddles, if it's any consolation, I agree with you 1000 percent. Some things with group mods are very problematic, and I've stepped away from doing it for the most part. No matter how nice you try to be, there's still a chance that people are going to be rude to you. For example, you hit the nail on the head with the "no swearing in the chatrooms" rule. Often times, you get the "well, no one's offended, and I don't have to talk" spiel.

But, that's not all. A lot of members have listener accounts, and can message each other in that kind of way. If you get on people's bad side, there's a good chance they will report you, and that you will get reprimanded for this. And I've seen it happen to wonderful moderators in the past. Not only does it leave the mod unable to be a mod anymore, but it also puts a big, black mark on a person's record, rendering them unable to uphold any leadership positions (which, that's a thing that needs a revamp, I'll probably make a thread on it soon enough). Being a mod is a huge risk, and I don't know if it's worth the reward, to be honest.

That all being said, mods you are doing a wonderful job. The system doesn't really allow us to be treated fairly all of the time, but you're working it, you're being awesome, you're keeping things safe. To those who still have spirit with it, I really commend you <3

@Juddles, thank you for this thread <3

I have some very different views regarding mutes. But first the premise under which my views are built. It really depends on the types of members who come into the rooms

PS I mod loneliness room. Mods over there get attacked way too much, I dont mind because I have modded at worse sites with even worse trolls.

1. There are some members who just do nothing wrong are nice and helpful

2. Some members border on the rules category, they want to talk openly and casually swear

3. Many, are not aware about the rules, but if they break it, they can be told, and they will understand

4. Trolls - They dont give a shit about rules. They are here to trigger others. They will do anything and everything in their power to provoke all 3 above. When such a situation happens, the room has a break down and everyone gets abusive.

Even the trolls have three types. 1. those who have hatred against mods 2. Trolls targetting a certain user 3. trying to trigger everyone

My *HONEST* way of tackling them?

You just know when they are going: "Hey you should die" or "[insert abuse] [insert any name]" and so on, you just know they wont stop. I do not announce mutes for these people coz if youve been in the room for >30 mins, you realise that if you mute them they keep trying to come back.

The other types, if they get triggered, they might attack mods, in my experience. The best way is to reassure the room and just wait for things to calm down. *DONT* use your mute button in that case, even if they are being disrespectful. because, they are just hurt. You dont wanna hurt a hurt person more. To be honest? My only advice to mods? lurk in the rooms for a while. See the regular members. Dont even touch mute or delete button for them. They know and care. Mostly, look out for guests who border on attacking. Mostly the guests needing help would go: "Hi" or "Hi am sad/depressed/lonely" MAKE sure you tend to this guest, they could not get through a general request, they are confused and sad at times.

Now another type of guest is there, who will talk nicely for a while but arent aware of rules so they may try to share FB/numbers etc. Promptyl delete and remind them of the rules, they may or may not react favourably. tell them that you will mute them if they share social media again. and just see how it pans out

Most member accounts are well versed with the site - so please, for the love of all that is HOLY dont touch the mute button without proper mute reasons. If possible, when you mute members, make sure you screenshot the part where theyre breaking rules, upload to imgur (anonymity reasons) and then, you put it in mute reason. members are precious and you dont want to make a mistake with a single one. 24 hours is LONG for a mute. Be responsible.

That is honestly, how I do it. I dont know if I do it right or wrong really? But I guess the room I moderate I can manage about fine. So that is that.

Resolutions and Suggestions - Together as a Team

Dear fellow listeners,

Since sharing my concern, it has been encouraging to hear other people speak out on this. I strongly believe that we better act and think as a team. I am someone who looks for solutions however I like to collaborate my own ideas with other people?s opinions, experiences, and values; acting as a team player.

This is why have decided to write a resolution on this matter, in which I have given a lot of thought. Yes it is similar to a mock United Nations resolutionformat, but I am rather fond of the format so here goes: (to find out what I actually want to do, skip the preamble which is there for introductory and explanatory purposes)

Aim: To enable a system whereby Moderators are entitled to more security, dignity, and respect without compromising the security, dignity and respect of members, guests, or listeners.

(Preambleclauses)

Recognising the 7 Cups of Tea community spirit of maintaining a positive, supportive environment creating a friendly egalitarian community among members, listeners, and moderators,

Keeping in mind the peer review and badge system for listeners, in which listeners feel motivated to achieve,

Keeping further in mind consistency of a variety of peer reviews create a coherent and veracious representation of Listeners reviewed, concerning 1-1 chats, independent of peer pressure.

Noting with approval the recommendation towards listeners of maintaining a timetable in which they dedicate a certain amount of hours per week for 3 weeks,

Fully aware that many Moderators feel uncomfortable with the instability of the Chatrooms, for various reasons, largely due to i) recurrent trolls ii) threatening behaviour towards Moderators iii) lack of protection for Moderators,

Observing the method of reporting Moderators is widely seen to be a negative act, with few positive reviews in comparison to negative ones because i) those who request the Moderator review form do so largely in defiance ii) those who would positively review Moderators largely express themselves positively in the chatrooms,

Noting circumstances in which accounts have been muted, whereby if there is a dispute in the fairness of the mute, it creates a dissonant dichotomy between user and moderator often resulting in a cause to complain,

Noting with regret the complaints are most frequently made to those not present during the cause for complaint, thus creating an atmosphere of scepticism toward at least one party as muted accounts have their comments deleted,

Taking into consideration the aspect that when Moderators are joined by other Moderators, it can create a healthy relationship of support and learning from one another,

Observing that there are consistent and fundamental differences between listeners/members and guest accounts, mainly regarding understanding of the site rules, and attitude towards the site itself,

Critically observing that troll accounts are more likely to be on guest accounts and not using member accounts,

Notes with disappointment the impact that the trolls have on members in need of support, deviating the Moderator?s attention away from them due to dealing with the troll,

Notes further with disappointment the method in which trolls can easily become recurrent through instantly making new, multiple accounts

(Operative clauses)

1.Calls upon Group Moderator Leaders, Administrators and Ambassadors to form a timetable or calendar whereby Moderators can fill in on a weekly basis when/where they intend to Moderate.

2.Expresses its hope that if such a timetable is made, that there can be more of a balance between rooms in which Moderators moderate and that Moderators can accompany each other

3.Requests that a Moderator journal or diary is enabled, allowing Moderators to record their series of events from their perspective, potentially with photographic evidence, to be reviewed by Group Moderator Leaders, Administrators or Ambassadors, writing about their own actions and the actions of accompanying Moderators. Moderators shall be able to access only their journal

4.Encourages for a series of Moderator Badges to be implemented and rewarded, on performance of consistency, professionalism, and dedication of Moderator journal writing, enabling a motivated attitude towards journal entries.

5.Emphasizes a need for further division between rooms by which members and guests can access so that Moderators can manage rooms more efficiently

6.Requests the muting regulation to be tightened to enable a sense of security for members, listeners, and Moderators after an account has been muted, in case the hazard of a recurring troll

7.Recommends further clarification and amendment towards Chatroom rule number 6 ?Please refrain from using any abusive, graphic, or inappropriate language? to emphasise that no swearing at all is tolerate, therefore allowing Moderators to enforce this rule without fear of being challenged or mocked

Please do tell me what you think of this draft resolution, the more ideas shared, the better. The more we think like a team, the better. The more we act like a team, the better. These are just my ideas and suggestions; I?d love to hear from everyone else.

I look forward to any and all responses,thank you.

@MelAllyouneedislove @iListenIdontJudgeIcare@Harleen98 @chioo @MrMeNr1 @RainbowDragon @Sarahthepenguin1 @ZachGrandinetti@Humnah3 @Zaz @aparnakher @Chaliercy @DauntlessDylan @frankixoxo @Gemma8483@iListenIdontJudgeIcare @Jace98 @Jacobisheretohelp @JJill2 @Kayrosesnowflake @KendallNichole @mediocalcure @michaelahelps @Mikayla1000@Softball900 @SophieZhang9805 @sophiee21 @Stephz @SuperMark @tahleeheretohelp @therapinto @RainbowandSunshine @Avyukta @izza @Silentlistener97 @Aishaaa_ @OrunLeon @Resisti @Gemma8483 @Sparkleofhope @KendallNichole @MelAllyouneedislove @letmefixyou96 @Ringingbells2015 @littlepony @Mikayla1000 @Jessica @Sarah @Heather @Pali @Lynnie @frankixoxo @InfiniteSusana @Rachie39 @Niko @MathiasS @PoeticPuzzle @Pinkbluebells@mobbsy @amobachata @michaelahelps @SirJJelly @lovelyOcean54 @spftball900 @Jacobisheretohelp @iWhiteFire @Sunburst223 @guidingMusic @DauntlessDylan @gentleBeauty79 @ringingbells2015 @crazyislovely @Aishaaa_ @Hatred @Sinivaal @KeepOnSmiling @IWhiteFire @Jadetherose @StayStrongDarling08 @SummerMorgan @Frankixoxo @OrunLeon @ChrisE @Jessica @Kane @Pali @Lukas @Annalia @Evi @Pam @Roadie @Maku @Flourish @Cadence @Apple74 @Justin @JustinRarrr @Farheen @Jaelin @Jake @Sarah @Noasu @Iara @SoulSurfer @samc95xc @Mobbsy @EmmaGrace @Aishaaa_ @MelAllyouneedislove @letmefixyou96 @KeepOnSmiling @Resisti @Slientlistener97 @sweetBlueberry19 @Pinkbluebells @MathiasS @Gerogie4 @AdvenuRin @EmpatheticDude @Chaliercy @Lynnie @PoeticPuzzle @poeticguy @Niko @SophieZhang9805 @littlepony @Sparkleofhope @Randy_ @iWhiteFire @Chrissy @Aventurina @Jacobisheretohelp @Pnbamaina @Ibiihere @Harleen98 @Scarlet25 @OrunLeon@Laura @Heather @GlenM @Resisti@Eme @Angelwings @BlindOctopusLove @QuickJazz@Nazeera@Johnny20 @SwordsandPens@DanielJPhillipe @MissZ @Annie01 @hopefulTree78@ShayneX@Angelwings2@Params

1: it is very easy for a member to get an account here... any guest, who wants to sign up as a member,, does not actually need an email address.. because to become a member,, you do not need to click on a link that is sent to your email,, which is unlike in case of a listener.. being a listener,, you have to verify your listener account by clicking on the link sent to your email.. which is one of the reasons why trolls come back as members...

2: also,, there is an option to ban the IP of a listener.. but that is not there for the members/guests...

3: another thing i would like to point out, which @Juddles has already pointed out is that a single member can file in as many "reviews" as they want,, for either the same moderator or different moderators.. and the first action of the admins is to suspend the account of the moderator,, without listening to their side of the story... and the most recent example is the thing that happened with @Belle_ although when she sent mails to the admins her listener account was restored.. but still it creates a situation of panic for the listener, who otherwise, might be going through some tough times through their own time and come on 7cups as a listener to talk to fellow listeners to cool off and help other guests/members...

it would be great if some steps are taken to do something about what @Juddles and @Cadence and i have said..

@Juddles

I couldn't agree more with your points and solutions, thank you for the re-tag, I always lose forums when I check tags on mobile!

I believe the badge rewards is on it's way to being implemented on the teen side already but so far this is only for moderating rooms other than the community rooms (we've had a huge issue with mods spending their lives in CR and never entering TS) however your idea is a brilliant progression of this and I look forward to hearing more about it.

The diary idea is brilliant and I really hope this is implemented. I don't believe in taking screenshots or recording without permission, mainly to maintain the anonymity and privacy of our users but a diary would make it possible to have an outline of how the moderating session has gone. It would also make moderating more structured.

I believe before any badges are taken away or accounts suspended there should be solid proof the listener is causing damage to the community. Perhaps this can be done via an anonymous behaviour check. A random quality mentor could watch said moderator on a guest account to decide if the report was valid because more often than not the behaviour will be re-occuring.

Over all, moderators definitely need more protection but while maintaining the members/guests ability to have a say on how things go and I hope these ideas are brought forwarded and implemented.

(i don't know if they've already been tagged but tagging the mod leaders so they can see this: @apple74 @Sarah @Jake @Heather )

It came to my attention in loneliness room (and probably other rooms). There are people who are members who operate under VPN's or Proxy, so having an IP ban on some of these members/guests would not even work to my knowledge.

I'd love to be able to moderate other rooms than the one I already am full time in, but the abuse I got in loneliness makes me not want to venture out to see other rooms.

Uploading screenshots to image sharing websites is against website policy. We state that we do not keep any conversations and that what is said here is confidential. Uploading image that reveals usernames, profile photos/pictures and message content to another website (regardless of whether it is group or 1-1 conversation) is a breach to this and unacceptable.

Check our Community Guidelines for listeners to findofficial statement on this by @Laura and explanation on how screenshots can be used as proof of inappropriate behaviour without breaching confidentiality and website policyhere.