Stressed - Modding Rant
Oh my gosh. I know people dislike mods sometimes, but tonight has been hell and it's stressed me out because members make up outright lies about us, saying we were spamming, that we were giving out warnings for the hell of it even though we've just been following the rules. I'm worried they're going to leave reviews of us with those lies and we will receive repercussions, simply because they have a problem with mods.
A few people were just constantly saying how they hated mods, how we did their head in, how we shouldn't be mods, how we're just power hungry etc. It drives me insane. I know it shouldn't get to me and it usually doesn't as I'm a mod elsewhere and it's fine but when it's overbearing constant hate messages, it's just.. exhausting and sometimes upsetting when people call you pathetic or even referred to as a nazi.
I've gone from a helpful, welcoming listener to someone a lot of people absolutely loathe. Before I can say anything, people are attacking my mod status or prejudging me.
I'd already had a few tricky chats which were helped by @JaceOfSpades so I guess I'm already tired out.
Someone needs to describe mods to members, what we can and can't do, that we're simply listeners who want to help, not power hungry etc. I became a mod because people were telling others to kill themselves in a chat and I felt totally helpless; it broke my heart. I've had suicidal tendencies and been on the chat in those desperate times, I would be 1000x more upset if someone told me to just kill myself. It's not about power. I've been modding sites for years, I know how it goes and it's never been about power.
@Heather @GlenM @Jake @Sarah
@SilentSerenityy I totally hear you. First, thank you for being the bigger person and for having the strength to look past some of these characterizations. Second, thank you for playing this very important role. Third, I do not believe that it is about power for you at all or any of our mods. They are warm, caring, strong listeners that do this out of the goodness of their hearts.
I've asked @Heather to get an educational post up about this issue on the member side.
Thank you again for being a mod! Please know that many of us really appreciate you for serving in this role!
@GlenM can we also have something for listeners who arent mods who think they are trying to help but are really just making things worse!!!!!
@Kallie112358
You're going to have to expand on that.
@Kallie112358 yes, can you write more about what you referring to?
@Kallie112358 - Is this what you had in mind?
I think she is referring to back-seat moderating @heather
@Ej
Yeah, pretty sure it's this.
@Heather thats it thanks has been bookmarked!!!!!
its a lot about listeners warning people verbally about things and telling mods what to do such as mod they avoided the censor or mod they are being unsupportive warn them
this makes members feel uneasy and i have been asked multiple times if there are mods without a badge in the chatrooms due to this happening
we also need to be aware of listeners using us as a threat i have seen a couple of times whilst lurking - you need to do what i tell you or i will get a mod to ban you - this then gives us a bad name and makes it look like any listener can get someone banned because we will take their word over a members
@Kallie112358
Very good point.
Thank-you @GlenM & @Heather
@SilentSerenityy - Sounds like a really challenging time moderating the support rooms for you. Thank you so much for persevering. I really hope you were able to get chance to calm down and unwind after that.
Forum post to educate about the moderator role is now up on the member side. Check it out here. I encourage you all to lean on this and share with members in the rooms if you need to at any point.
@Heather, thank you!
@Heather thank you for this, and kudos for getting it online so promptly! :)
Thank you for sharing this! I've been a moderator for about a year now. There was a time where I had absolutely the same reaction as you, and I honestly term it the moderation mid-life crisis stage because we ALL go through this so PLEASE do not feel like an outlier. So glad you posted this I can't even emphasize it enough!
One thing I've learned is when moderation comes up in discussion, absolutely be positive about it. Sometimes when I enter a room and someone is like "oh great a Mod" I always joke and say "everyone hide! :) how we all doing today?"
I would be absolutely lying to you if I said in this past year I didn't see a moderator overreact or honestly made situations worse. We are human and moderators do make mistakes; typically, if someone is saying how much they hate moderators and it's pervasive enough where the group chat is grossly being distracted, I absolutely welcome that person to message me privately because I genuinely want to hear their opinions or stories. "Hey xxx, right now this is going to distract from the topic title, but please message me because I want to hear what happened if you don't mind!" Most members appreciate your concern and will take you up on the offer. I even suggest members and guests to take screenshots (when I'm talking to them privately) if they feel moderators are being excessive because if they are, WE absolutely want to hear and see about it because we all suffer when potential abuse goes unnoticed.
If you're dealing with a troll who clearly wishes to troll, there isn't much you can do with that, but I absolutely want to hear their stories and provide a method that can help them express their views in a productive way. Also, you build rapport with the community, and I also welcome these any and all individuals to privately message me if they ever need anything.
I kill ill them with kindness. And I open a channel for them to seriously tell me what's up because I care both for their complaints and the integrity of our moderation system. There have been instances where the member or guest is absolutely right, provide proof, and the higher-ups have to take action -- that's a good thing, because we learn and adapt as moderators.
As as a reference, I take a screenshot of every warn I make. Windows 10 automatically synchronizes screenshots to one drive.
I've gotta say that I have mixed feelings on this one, Silent. Before I explain, please don't misunderstand, because I do 100% empathize with you on the abuse, lies, nasty comments and every piece of negativity you described that we mods receive on a constant basis pretty much every time we enter the chatrooms. I also know that you are a kind-hearted person who sacrifices her own time to support others by looking after the chatroom community, which is amazing.
The part I am hesitant about is the first bit which you highlighted. About how it drives you insane. I feel that at the first sight when things get too much for you (or any moderator), it's a signal to just bolt it outta there pronto. There's no obligation to stay in the room and the opportunity to jump into LCR or LS is always a mouse click or two away. Request another moderator to look after the chatroom, and you can take some time off to chill and refuel. I just wanna urge moderators in general to not force themselves to stay in an unsupportive, abusive chatroom environment until they are "driven insane" by it. It goes against the [unofficial] self care policy and won't do anyone any good.
I hope you won't give up moderating, Silent, because this post shows me you're a great person with great intentions. And because of this, I want to offer my strategy on how I cope with negativity in the chatroom. In fact, it's the same way I treat every negative situation: As a big ol' joke. Like what Ej pretty much said above. I mean look, there are some members that are just out there to have a go at moderators because we exist. I've entered a chatroom, not said a word, certain [troll] members recognize my name and say: "Leon's here, bye guys". And to those people, I say good riddance - it'd be a waste of my cells generating energy to move my fingers and mute you eventually for trolling anyway so thank god you left when I came in, ya know what I'm sayin'? ;) You gotta look at it from a perspective where you're in the right and they're in the wrong. Because that's basically what it is in these kinda cases. Or you can just straight up offer them the report form and ask them to fill it out, but they won't be able to put anything legit in there, so nothing will happen to you anyway.
Obviously if you're a crap mod then you're screwed and deserved it. But you know what I'm getting at.
