Perfection and social medias

Hi, I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling and thank you for bringing up a very current topic, many people could find themselves in what you wrote. It's like you said: what you see on social media hardly matches reality. Taking a break from social media can help, but I think only you can make the difference, realizing that the problem is not the posts you see scrolling the home, but the fact that you feel somehow inferior. Why would you want to be perfect? Nobody is, and that's okay. The goal should not be to achieve perfection, but to be aware of your limits in order to work on them, or sometimes accept them if they cannot be changed. It is important to have realistic expectations, or we will end up only hurting ourselves and nothing will change, and above all we will have to accept the harsh reality that the responsibility for all of this is ours. If you need to talk, you can connect with a listener at any time, or you might consider seeking a professional. Remember that you are not alone.

I must reduce toxic content on those apps - those who share the image of perfection

& Also reduce the amount

I need to remember things don't need to be good or pretty

That it's not meaningful

I've put notes on my walls to remember and ask myself : are my thoughts are useful ? (Useful = making me happy or will help me now or in the future)

Because often the thoughts are making me unhappy and won't solve anything

I must reduce toxic content on those apps - those who share the image of perfection

& Also reduce the amount

I need to remember things don't need to be good or pretty

That it's not meaningful

I've put notes on my walls to remember and ask myself : are my thoughts are useful ? (Useful = making me happy or will help me now or in the future)

Because often the thoughts are making me unhappy and won't solve anything

@butterlycow Hi, I think many of us experience this, I personally enjoy being more honest both online/offline. I found this discussion helpful: "Social Media Depression"

Hey @butterlycow,

This post resonated really deeply with me since I struggled a lot with social media and wrestling with the ideal and perfection how people look on that platform. But one thing that really helped me pull away from that is in real life, how many people actually look like they do on social media? Personally I work in the hospital and I've seen few even none at all who look like the models or perfect images they do on social media.

At the end of the day people will always wrestle with imperfections no matter how much we try to hide them. Sure there are people gifted with more desirable traits and look well, and sometimes you'll get an absolute gorgeous human being (actors actresses, etc). But just know that social media is built to show an ideal version of ourselves and how we want others to see us. This includes make-up to hide our acne and blemishes, camera angles to hide our shortness and accentuate our bad proportions, photo-editing to hide our fat and make us look slim.

The sooner I realized this the more comfortable I became with social media. It's fun to dress-up and look good once and awhile. It's a good confidence booster. But know that social media does not represent the world, it represents what the world wants us to see, not what it truly is.

@butterlycow

I kinda get what you mean 💜 I'm fascinated with marketing and social media because it is where the audience are these days.

I have few friends who are somewhat social media influencer. It's just work for them. And it's a lot of work. Plan ahead everything. This type, they come, they click and keep it to work on it later. They grow the account for a reason. This is often called personal branding.

Some just do it to feel good. Whenever we meet up, they hardly being present. Need to click pictures. Pretend to be candid. We did laugh, because it's sad but funny.

After that, they're busy to choose which one they look the best. And editing begin. And then zone out to think of caption. And then post. And then, try to be present for sometimes, before check the post again to see who likes it. Idk about you, but sounds emotionally draining for me. Imagine if they post everyday xD

Another type is those who post once in a while. They usually just do it for fun whenever they have free time and feel like it.

Okay, they look beautiful with perfect lives. But these friends are also those who reach out to me to vent about their lives, the sadness they swallow and the pain that not everyone sees.

Most people are fighting a battle and we don't always see it 💜

As for making friends, whenever you are ready, you're welcome to learn active listening on 7 Cups Academy and practice a lot through volunteer works. It's easy to make friends with the set of skills. Hope it helps a bit.