How to eat healthy/exercise in an abusive and controlling environment?
I am obese. 50 pounds overweight. I live with my parents at 28 - I am a grad student so I can’t move out. I work, I pay my bills… but my parents don’t treat me like an adult. I need to lose weight and I love to exercise. My issue is that when I try to take care of myself, it becomes an issue for my parents and sister. How do I get healthy while walking on eggshells?
@intelligentMango2921
Why would they not encourage this in you?... do they need to lose as well and feel if you do it then they should?
the only time i have seen this is when someone goes from 0-50 in trying to over do it and then they usually give up as they did not think consistence but wanting fast results
small steps but consistent steps make a difference in weight loss .... one can do it anywhere and without anyone hardly noticing .....finding ways to get more movement in your day ... can you walk some time in day? yoga and simple resistance training you could do in privacy of room they would never know until weight loss or toning up becomes visible and that may take time.
They try to police what I do. Asking me why I’m in the kitchen, how long will I be there, what am I making, am I making some for everyone, why am I making this or that. When I go to the gym they ask how long I’ll be, which gym am I going to, who am I going with, etc, etc. The questions are exhausting and their comments are degrading. My father constantly tells me I look like I’m pregnant.
i don’t want their support I want them to leave me alone.
@intelligentMango2921
I get it i have a spouse like this i started doing things when he is not around and when he is he tries very hard to take me off course ........ why so he does not feel like he is being left behind or have to have an excuse why he looks pregnant........
I do my things for ME no one else ...when you are asked questions etc just change the subject if further questioned perhaps the truth ... you are doing what you need for self care........ and if they do not support that they can say nothing at all......
I understand you live with them but you are not a child if they treat you as such ... you have let them do it . put up a boundary
I’ve tried setting boundaries. I have been threatened with police force if I do so again.
@intelligentMango2921 tell them exactly what you just said: "i don’t want their support I want them to leave me alone."
Tell them you want them to respect you! You want to have a peaceful relationship where both respect eachother! Then ignore their questions and keep do what you, make your healthy food or whatever. If they ask how long it will take just answer and say how long it will take approximately, then keep on making your food. Try not to get angry or upset. Try to be calm, kind and positive and just dont follow their attempt to control you and destroy your efforts! Answer their questions objectively. Find a way to eat your healthy food, find a way around their control efforts.
@intelligentMango2921 aww that's sad 😢 I wish your family would respect you more😞 maybe that should be your ultimate goal to move out, I know you said you can't right now. I'm sorry sweetie this is not a nice situation for you. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤squeezes you tightly ❤❤ oh and by the way, the more of you to cuddle 🤗
It is my goal but at the moment I don’t make enough to leave. Thank you.
@intelligentMango2921 hugggs you ❤
@intelligentMango2921
If you're in college you can probably take out loans for a dorm. Yes the debt is not ideal but I would take a debt sheet over living with abuse any day.
Grad program doesn’t have dorms. But I am using college as a way to escape.
