Relation to Self and self destruction
I want to express my concern about tendency of treating ourselves badly because of the environment, personal failures and other peoples attitude towards us. Self image is important, and we see ourselves differently and less worthy than others when facing a lot of stress and dealing with all of this, and past traumas too..
There are a lot of ways to deal with this. Mine is psychotherapy, meds, and finding the root of worthlesness within myself. The first step to healing is to love yourself no matter what. There is no need to destroy yourself every day because you fail. We often feel low, alone, abandoned, and we spiral into self destruction patterns. We can do better. We forget how worthy we are. Just look how beautiful beings we are! You are not defined by your failures and critisism! It is more easy to say than to do, to love yourself, but not impossible. How do you deal with your urge to self destruct? What do you do to express gratitude and self love no matter what? We can do it! We can become strong, step by step!
@JusticiaPrimalDorogo
You mentioned finding "the root of worthlessness" within yourself. I think perhaps you meant finding the reason for perceiving feelings of worthlessness within. The fact is, there is no worthlessness within. I think the deeper you reach within yourself, the more likely you are to find light and innocence.
One effective approach to addressing such feelings is to ask yourself what you would say to a friend very much like yourself and in similar circumstances. It's amazing how we can find the words to help support others, but then be severely reluctant to encourage ourselves the same way.
To be grounded in reality means to know your own value and intentions. Would it surprise you to realize that the positive character attributes you admire in others also exists within you? Were that not so, you would not be able to perceive those attributes in anyone else. You may need to work on developing some of those attributes, but rest assured they already are a part of you.
I agree, we are not defined by our failures. We are more accurately defined by our willingness to risk failure, and if it occurs, having the willingness to try again. Failure is instrumental in the growth towards wisdom. The only true failure is to give up. That doesn't mean quitting for a while. It means giving up forever-that's failure. I don't think there's a successful person alive who hasn't failed repeatedly.
When developing the lightbulb, Thomas Edison failed over 2000 times before he succeeded. However, in his own words, rather than thinking of those unsuccessful attempts, as failures, he thought of them as successfully learning what doesn't work.
Loving yourself is essential to healing. A time will come when you will realize that self-love is essential for effectively loving others.
It's kind of fun to think about babies as they start learning to walk. Think about how often they stumble and fall. For weeks to months, that stumbling and falling continues. Yet the child takes it in stride, even if the strides aren't stable. They don't show any evidence of declining self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness. They aren't embarrassed about their falls. With every staggering butt drop, they are improving.
Then we spend the rest of our lives trying to attain the self forgiving philosophy and determination of a nine month old. Evidently, we can make great strides by unlearning some of our social conditioning.
It's quite remarkable that as we support others, our self image and esteem grows. For one thing, when others feel nurtured by us, at least some of them give us positive feedback and express appreciation. It also gives us observable evidence of our own value.
Thank you for the post! It invites a great deal of worthwhile thought.
@JusticiaPrimalDorogo You are right! We are beautiful beings that are not defined by our failures. Some of the things I do to maintain gratitude and self-love no matter what is that I always find time to move my body or get outside. Even if I've failed at what I did, I can always do that one little thing to make it better. I also have a journal, but lately I haven't really been journaling gratitude.
Thank you for this wonderful reminder, @JusticiaPrimalDorogo!
"We can do better. We forget how worthy we are. Just look how beautiful beings we are! You are not defined by your failures and critisism!"
It’s definitely easier to say than do - for me, it really does feel more impossible than not. While I’m still trying to figure it out on myself (it’s very hard to override a lifetime of negative thoughts), right now distraction works for me. I’m not really capable of stopping that harsh, self-destructive thought pattern, but if I’m able to do something that gets my mind focused on something else, it’ll at least interrupt that self-inflicted emotional and mental bashing I would have endured otherwise.
@JusticiaPrimalDorogo
💗💗
@JusticiaPrimalDorogo Thank you for sharing this. It's so easy to internalize criticism and past trauma, making us feel unworthy. Fighting that urge to self-destruct is a daily battle.
