Connectedness - Staying in touch with friends
We all know that as we grow older, it can be hard to make new friends, or even hold onto old ones. It’s a natural part of life, as people move, get new jobs, start families, and shift their priorities. It used to be easy to spend time with your friends by default, either because you were in school together, participated in the same activities, lived nearby, or just had more free time. Suddenly, you find yourself having to plan months in advance, just to catch up on the last 6 months of your lives. Suddenly, keeping friendships alive takes work.
I have had several people in my life confide in me that they are afraid of reaching out to friends, whether it’s just to chat, or catch up, or hang out. At first, I was surprised - why would you be afraid of this? Aren’t you friends for this reason? They explain that they’re afraid of being a burden. They figure that their friends are too busy, and don’t want to bother them. So instead of reaching out and facing the rejection they fear, they just don’t reach out at all.
I’d like to know - have you ever been afraid of being a burden on a friend? Has this stopped you from reaching out?
Now, I can’t speak for every single person, but I’m here to tell you - YOUR FRIENDS WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!! I have never, ever, in my life, felt burdened by a friend who wanted to spend time with me. Put yourself in their shoes - how would you feel if an old friend reached out? Or perhaps, wanted some advice? Frankly, I take it as a compliment, as it means they like my company and value my opinion! Don’t you want to pay your friends a compliment?
Another thing to consider - maybe your friend actually really needs to hear from someone. If you haven’t been in touch in awhile, you might not know what’s going on in their life. And we all know social media is not a real representation of anyone’s life. By not reaching out, you could be robbing them of a lifeline they could really use. Maybe they have the same fear as you! And how ironic would it be if both your fears were keeping you two from connecting with each other? Something that you both wanted?
It’s important to face this fear, or we risk isolating ourselves from our community, which we’ve learned is a very important part of being human. We need to stop self-sabotaging ourselves. We need to feel connection with others, to belong to a community, something that is bigger than ourselves. Reach out. Check in. I assure you, your friends will thank you for it.
Can you think of a time where you reached out to a friend, despite feeling anxious about it? How did it go? How did you feel after?
@OtterlyPositive This post was quite relatable and I completely agree with you. Especially when you mentioned that it takes some serious planning to catch up with the last 6 months of our lives. No truer words have been said! 🌟 It really does take work to keep friendships alive and budding. 💪
I've found that through the mundane responsibilities of life there's been less time to reach out to others and chat as we naturally did before. Sometimes, a period may pass, and again, we're out of the loop in each others' lives. When this happens, I do feel a bit nervous about reaching back out. Just for the simple reason of losing connection with them for a certain amount of time. However, when I do reach back out, it feels wonderful to reconnect. I also let them know that they are appreciated and cared for.
Thank you so much for this lovely read. I enjoyed it. 💓
@GentleHealingInitiative
Aw, thank you so much for sharing your story! I also feel apprehensive reaching out after a period of time, but isn't it so nice when you get together and it's like no time has passed? Those friendships are worth the work 🥰
I have absolutely reached out to a friend, to talk about something important to me. Usually I end up shut down or like my issues aren’t big enough for them! That’s okay though, I understand when people need time to deal with their own things. I have absolutely felt like a burden, and maybe that needs a change. Thank you for posting this! It means a lot to hear other peoples opinions and seeing growth 🫶🏻
@youcandothis0012
I can absolutely understand where you're coming from. But you are not a burden! You deserve to take up as much space as you need. Thanks for sharing 💗
@OtterlyPositive I agree, it’s so true that as we get older, maintaining friendships takes more effort, but that doesn’t mean our friends don’t want to hear from us. I’ve definitely hesitated before, worrying that I’d be bothering someone, but every time I’ve pushed past that anxiety and reached out, I’ve been met with warmth and appreciation. I remember texting an old friend after months of no contact, feeling nervous that I was intruding but they were so happy to hear from me... 💙
@PeacefulWords2025
Aw, thank you for sharing that! Sometimes it's important that anxiety is just that, and we just need to push past it for the truth 💓
@OtterlyPositive I have definitely been afraid that I am burden to my friends. But I have had to come to realize that people that truly care about you will make the time to reach out if they see you are down and they will take the time to sit there and talk with you about things.
@Joyce25
Absolutely! Relationships are a two-way street and takes effort from both parties to make them work. It's reassuring to hear that others feel this way too - thank you for sharing! 💓
@OtterlyPositive
Yes, I’ve definitely felt like I might be a burden if I reached out to a friend, especially after a long period of no contact. I’d overthink everything, wondering if they had moved on or if I’d just be bothering them during their busy life. That fear kept me from saying anything, even when I genuinely missed them. But one day, I decided to message an old friend just to check in, and to my surprise, they replied so warmly and said they’d been feeling the exact same way but didn’t know how to reach out either. That small step brought us back into each other’s lives, and honestly, it made me feel lighter and more connected again. It reminded me that sometimes the fear in our heads isn’t real, and a simple message can mean more than we think, to both people.
@OtterlyPositive
Yes, I’ve definitely felt like I might be a burden if I reached out to a friend, especially after a long period of no contact. I’d overthink everything, wondering if they had moved on or if I’d just be bothering them during their busy life. That fear kept me from saying anything, even when I genuinely missed them. But one day, I decided to message an old friend just to check in, and to my surprise, they replied so warmly and said they’d been feeling the exact same way but didn’t know how to reach out either. That small step brought us back into each other’s lives, and honestly, it made me feel lighter and more connected again. It reminded me that sometimes the fear in our heads isn’t real, and a simple message can mean more than we think, to both people.
@ynvrtsm
What a lovely story! I think this is something that happens every day. I'm so glad that you were able to get over that hurdle and reach out, as it's clear it was something you both wanted! I applaud you for being so brave! It's good to keep this instances in mind when you find yourself in a similar situation again. Thanks for sharing! 💞
@OtterlyPositive This post was such a heartfelt reminder—thank you for putting it into words so beautifully. That fear of being a burden is so real, even with people we care deeply about. I’ve definitely hesitated before sending that “Hey, do you wanna catch up?” message, worried that I’d be interrupting or that too much time had passed.
But one moment that really stands out: a while back, I reached out to an old friend I hadn’t spoken to in over a year. I almost didn’t, but something told me to just go for it. Turned out, they were going through a tough time and said my message came at the perfect moment. We ended up talking for hours, and afterward, I felt this warm mix of relief and joy—like I had re-lit a light that was still very much there, just waiting for a spark.
You’re so right—we often forget that our friends probably want to hear from us just as much as we want to hear from them. Connection is healing, and sometimes all it takes is a simple message to bring it back to life.
@IngeniousFriend69
Yes, this, right here! This is a prime example of what I'm talking about. Thank you for putting it so eloquently. I'm so glad you were about to re-connect and be there for your friend! Being brave and taking that step to reach out not only paid of for yourself, but for your friend as well. Thank you for sharing! 💕
@OtterlyPositive
Yes, I’ve felt that fear of being a burden too. Sometimes I overthink and hesitate to message even close friends. But the few times I did reach out, it actually made both of us feel better. It reminded me that friendships need a little courage and effort, and that most of the time, our friends are happy to hear from us.
@gracefulCaramel5758
It's kind of reassuring to hear that we can all relate to this and experience it regularly, huh? Something to keep in mind next time we hesitate to reach out to someone :)
@OtterlyPositive
Yes, I can think of a time when I was going through a heavy emotional moment, and I really needed support, but I felt anxious about reaching out. I was worried about being a burden or coming across as too vulnerable. But I reminded myself that real connection often comes from honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable.
So I sent a message to a close friend, just letting them know I wasn’t doing great and could use someone to talk to. To my relief, they responded with so much kindness and openness. We talked for a while, and even just being heard without judgment made a huge difference.
Afterward, I felt lighter—not just because I had shared what was on my mind, but because I had honored my need for connection, despite the fear. It reminded me that reaching out isn’t weakness; it’s courage. And it deepened the trust in that friendship too.
@tingtingxin
I'm so glad you had such a positive experience reaching out to your friend! The world is a better place when we endeavour to stay connected. Thank you for sharing! 💖
@OtterlyPositive
Yes, I can think of a time when I reached out to a friend during a difficult moment, even though I felt anxious about bothering them. At first, I was worried they might be busy or not interested, but they responded with kindness and were really understanding. Afterward, I felt a sense of relief and gratitude, realizing how much stronger our friendship was because I was able to be vulnerable
@timabo7055
That's amazing! I'm so glad you had that experience - vulnerability, though it takes lots of courage, always leads to greater intimacy. Thank you for sharing! 💕
