[TW] Emo’s little emotional corner 🥲

Today has been a good day. Sure I was rudely awoken because I had to go visit my Aunty who has dementia really badly.. but at least that was okay. Then I went shopping, I started buying stuff for my best irl friends for Christmas. And I ended up buying 2 pairs of shorts for myself 😕 they weren’t cheap.. and then later in the day, I decided to jump into my swimming pool knowing it was gonna be cold, and it was really cold. Right now I’m currently calming down as someone random told me that they were watching me 😭 and now my iPad and phone has washi tape over the cameras as I was /still is slightly paranoid.

😭 self hate is bad today, I hate myself, idk how anyone can put up with me, I can’t even deal with myself, all I see myself as is a pest and is just annoying.. I’m also as stupid as a goldfish, and that’s facts, idk how I even graduated high school, I bombed out on all of my last assessments 😭 I’m just stupid, unimportant and I don’t even matter. 😭😭😭😭

☹️ Today, I just feel like and outcast, just invisible, next to no one is even trying to talk with me 😭 and I just wasted my precious time trying to be social (which is already a struggle for me). I also hate how my mum tells me I’m working at the very last possible minute, it’s **** 😭 I have nothing else to say because what I say obviously has no importance what so ever

I'm stupid today, so stupid, stupid me couldn't go to sleep until 4am today, stupid night owl, ☹ i wish I wasn't so stupid, idk how I even have friends, I'm that stupid. Everyone should be mad at me, because I'm stupid. I hate my job and I hate myself, I deserve such pain like being called immature, because it's the truth..

:( emo is frustrated..

I'll be honest, i didn't even sleep last night, and i'm currently feeling the effects of it, it's horrid..

I didn't sleep last night because I had 2 big breakdowns within 2 hours, and if anyone who was there for me during them, i wanna say thanks. :') i ended up giving up on a friendship that was getting toxic for me. i'm still hurt from it, it really hurts to have to say goodbye to a friend that you used to completely trusted, i guess they knew too much, so if you's aren't seeing me around as much, it's because i'm hiding in pms trying to undo the pain that i am suffering from :D i never knew setting boundaries can hurt so much, but i guess we all get to a stage where we all have to do it. I do hope i can return to who i was sooner, but it'll take time. my lesson from this is to not try and push through the warning signs of more pain than help. we are all going through something, and i can't imagine how much pain others are in, and you know what, you are all strong, *hugs whoever reads this*. and here's me complaining about how tired i am, when i could be sleeping right now :o

anyways, this is my story for today

TW: mentions of hospitals and cancer and death

read at your own risk 😮

Emo is scared.. emo is so unwell, that I’m nearly at the point of having to go to hospital.. I am so scared, I hate hospitals for quite a few reasons..

There might be a chance that emo’s dad has a brain tumour too..

Theres too much going on

Emo also had a flashback of when emo's nana passed away last night, that was scary 🥺

anyways, theres not much more emo can say rn..

☹️ Jeeze, the depression today.. eek.

anyways, today 😮 my anxiety went jsbdhdusgsgwjab and same with my depression 😀 (sarcasm) at least it was fun :/

I also visited the cemetery today 🥺 where my mum, all my grandmas and grandpas are.. 😖 I miss my nana ;-; ever since she passed away last year in August.. I just haven’t been the same 😔

I used to be a very bright, happy person, despite the 7 years worth of bullying ☹️

I just don’t wanna be sad or depressed anymore ☹️ I just wanna be happy once again

its also hard to see my favourite Aunty practically fade away in front of me as she has dementia 🥺 how I miss going to the show with her and the excursions she took me on, she was practically the only one who got me out of my house for a while and took me to go do fun activities like go on a train ride or wonder around parks and even shopping ☹️ It’s so hard to see her now.. literally having to be fed liquids as she is losing her ability to swallow 🥺

anyways, that’s todays post 😮

☹️ *feeds everyone who reads this marshmallow* 😛 and to those who are okay with hugs *hugs*

*sigh* today has been.. differnet ( apologies for all typos here today, i am so unbothered to even fix them as i've been making so many typos today it is not even funny ;-; )

welp, i had an age regression (which was kinda fun ngl.. especially when the whole room at the time was doing it too ;-; ) it was kinda nice to be able to escape my problemd for a bit, kinda neede a break anyways O-o but the only thing is since i regressed my spelling has been.. jnsbuiaghueuisdvbudbaeuib terrible :o hence why i'm not bothered to fix it in this post. like legit i couldn't even spell pie earlier today X) i mean it is kinda funny to thinj about it now but yeaj :D -_- if i was writing this on my ipad, there would be next to no typos.. but hey laptops are fun (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ i can make the funniest of tpos and use emoticons X)

so overall... today has been okay..ish :P hehehehehehehehehehehe *feeds everyone marshmallo*

I am tired.. :D

today has been okie, despite being age regressed for 7 hours straight XD

today i got new earphones that are very close to what i had (they stopped making the particular model ;-; ) so i am happy i found something close to what i had and loved

at least these earphone don't make my fav song sound sooo bad (rip, i wouldn't wanna ever buy $3 (AUD) earphones again.. they were trashhhhh, and my poor ears couldn't listen to my favourite song

i am just sad 😕 i barely recognize what happy feels like anymore, and that is pretty sad.