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Course 3, Discussion 3: When you don't get the role you want

User Profile: FrenchToast
FrenchToast December 5th, 2022

Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!

Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.

Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:

- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!

- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!

- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings

- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!

- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!

- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!

- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!

*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*

✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?

✒️ Please reply to at least 1 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!

After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next post here!


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User Profile: Admirablerainbow2825
Admirablerainbow2825 June 22nd, 2025

Hi, thank you for letting me know. It is good that I took part in the application process. At least I tried. Maybe another role would be a good fit for me. Do you have any feedback on what role best suits me? I am open to hearing from you. Thank you.

1 reply
User Profile: CordialDancer
CordialDancer November 27th, 2025

@Admirablerainbow2825

Great response! Not only showing willingness to grow, but also seeing if another position would be a better fit.

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User Profile: greka7
greka7 June 23rd, 2025

✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?

Hello, thank you for informing me! While it is dishonest to say that I am not in the slightest bit disappointed about the results, I completely understand and I appreciate you for letting me know. If you have the time, I would appreciate if you could offer me some pointers or advice so that my next application process can turn out more smoothly. Thank you for your time.

1 reply
User Profile: Always25
Always25 June 30th, 2025

@greka7

Tthat's definitely the right way to go about things if your get a rejection for a role! As it means you can learn and then re-apply using the knowledge you have gained :) 

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User Profile: AReine
AReine June 27th, 2025

Hello Leader ! Hope you are doing well.

I just want your help about the leader role that I applied to before. Thank you

User Profile: Always25
Always25 June 30th, 2025

@FrenchToast

If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?

As this has happened to me before, I reached back out to the leader to see where I needed to improve and what areas I needed to look at, I then worked on these areas and re-applied for the role. I always think that we should take anything like this as a learning opportunity to improve on our skills as leaders! 

2 replies
User Profile: benevolentCloud9834
benevolentCloud9834 July 1st, 2025

@Always25

Awesome! Well structured response in which you've expressed your concern as well.

User Profile: resilience2025
resilience2025 July 6th, 2025

@Always25

Definitely! I agree with what you say! Growth oriented mindset makes things easy!

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User Profile: benevolentCloud9834
benevolentCloud9834 July 1st, 2025

@FrenchToast

If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you? 

Hey there, I'm a bit confused to what made me get this role. I would like your feedback, it would benefit me a lot. Thanks in advance for taking the time to do so. I'm sure I'll be able to use it in the future for other applications.

User Profile: resilience2025
resilience2025 July 6th, 2025

@FrenchToast

✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?

I am so impressed by that line; everyone has their own pace of getting the roles that they desire. If I found out that I were not given the role I desired, I will take that as an opportunity to brush up more on the skillset needed to get the role after giving myself the time to stabilize emotionally. I will have a growth-oriented mindset. 

However, I will definitely ask the leader who has informed me about what areas are there to improve upon to be stated precisely and will patiently wait for the answer. Meanwhile, I will look up to my self-reflection. 

1 reply
User Profile: Kaleidoscope11
Kaleidoscope11 July 12th, 2025

@resilience2025

That's professional and accepting!

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User Profile: Kaleidoscope11
Kaleidoscope11 July 12th, 2025

@FrenchToast
Thank you for letting me know. While I’m naturally slightly disappointed, I respect the decision and appreciate the opportunity to be considered. If possible, I’d love to receive any feedback you can share on how I can grow or improve for future opportunities. I’m still committed to supporting the team however I can.

User Profile: Zaxoosh
Zaxoosh July 22nd, 2025

✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?

Ans: Thank you for letting me know about the decision. I’d appreciate any feedback on how I can improve or what skills I should develop to be considered for similar roles in the future. I’m keen to continue contributing positively to the team and looking forward to other opportunities.

1 reply
User Profile: awesomeForever34
awesomeForever34 July 28th, 2025

@Zaxoosh

A lovely message that asks for feedback and also shows your enthusiasm to keep supporting the community in whatever way you can :)

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User Profile: awesomeForever34
awesomeForever34 July 28th, 2025
Q: If you find out you weren't given a role, how should you respond and what should you say to the leader who has informed you?

I think a sample answer could be: "Thank you so much for letting me know and for the opportunity to apply in the first place. I'd like to ask if there's anything specific I could improve on if I decide to apply for the role again in the future?" 

In general, you should take some self care time and possibly log off 7 Cups if you feel you need to. You should ask for feedback, look into getting a mentor to help guide you and if you feel upset, you can look to talk to a peer supporter for some support. Overall, try not to take it personally (easier said than done!) and see it as "redirection rather than rejection" and as an opportunity for growth :) 
User Profile: Sompo2402
Sompo2402 August 12th, 2025

@FrenchToast

I wouldn't want to bottle up the feelings. I would practice self care immediately. Then after I'm relaxed, I would come back and look for ways to improve myself so as to get the role when I apply next time. It might be talking to mentors. I would appreciate the leader then ask for help to improve myself.
3 replies
User Profile: Yourstranger1
Yourstranger1 August 25th, 2025

Dear @Sompo2402,

I really like your answer considering self care at first, and how important self care, making us stronger and better. 

1 reply
User Profile: Sompo2402
Sompo2402 August 26th, 2025

@Yourstranger1

Thank you and yes I agree too!💟

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User Profile: soulout
soulout March 20th

@Sompo2402 Great response! 

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