Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #8) When you don't get the role you want
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Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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I think I'd definitely felt discouraged at first since it's sad news. But I usually don't dwell on things that I can't change at the moment so I would use this opportunity to ask the leader who messaged me about what part of the application I can improve. I actually was denied roles two or three times before and later nominated into one so I thought that taking the failure and turning it around can really pay off :)
@herealways27
thank you for sharing, I'm so proud of you for keep on trying and cỏngatulation on getting nominated! it's inspiring to hear your story.
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I think I would be dissapointed, but I wil ltalk to my mentor and coach to help me and find an alternative of how I can still be supportive within my interest and capablities.
@Heather225
Although I would be disappointed, I will not take the news personally and let it discourage me to prevent myself from keep making an effort to get a role next time. I will thank the leader for delievering the news and also my mentor who has supported me. As everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times I will reapply for the role and take the feedback that are given to me by heart. I will also take some time for self-care to relieve the negative feelings I might feel after hearing the news to recover myself so I can try again.
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I'd obviously feel a lil said but in the end I wasn't given to it as I may not be the best fit and I'll use it as a motivation to help me succeed the next time I feel I am ready for the role
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I'll ask them when can u apply again and if there is a way they can help me grow so that I am able to be a good for for the role by the time I apply again
@shiningSky3745 Growth is super important shining! I loved your answer <3
@shiningSky3745 Asking when to apply again shows your determination in being an active leader.
@shiningSky3745
Awesome response!
@shiningSky3745
Development and Growth is important and thanks for sharing the information
@shiningSky3745 Glad you will look to self-care after the sadness and then will look to learn to be able to apply again.
@shiningSky3745 Yes. Persistence, motivation and optimism are all good virtues to have in order to find future opportunities.
@shiningSky3745 I like the postivity in your attitude.
@shiningSky3745 I love that you'd use it as motivation! Right on :) I am going to remember to frame it this way!
@shiningSky3745
Hello!
I am glad that you would see it as a growing experience more than just failing a test or something like that. I believe that there is always a chance to improve and we can achieve our goals if we are perseverant.
@shiningSky3745
It is important to recognize, very good work :)
@shiningSky3745
Loved your perseverance to the goals you've set. Keep rocking!! ✨
@Heather225 I would be dejected at first, but then I would make sure to not let this experience bring me down. I would keep on trying to improve. I would ask the leader about how I can do better, and thank them for their time.
@Readylistener
It's great that you'd keep on trying!
@Readylistener
I like the fact that you don't let rejection defeat you. Instead you are open to feedback, improvement and growth and working with others.
@Readylistener I think the approach to the second part is spot on.
@Readylistener
That is great that you are reminding yourself, (and us, that read this), to stay positive and not let it bring us down should this happen! :)
@Readylistener
I really like your spirit of trying!!
@Readylistener So happy to see your positivity and eagerness to improve!!!
@Readylistener
Exactly. Improvement is a constant process.
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
A: usually I can get what I want without my mom,dad, and god sister. I would tell my god sister what she said wrong about me; however, with my parents, I would wait until I really got angry with them!
I'd be sad and disheartened. But it's okay. I'll always remember that there is a scope of improvement and will keep in mind that I can try again the next time after working on myself and maybe then, I'd get selected. I'll ask the leader as to where I can improve, and would also seek their help to get better.
@SweetDreamer69 Remembering there is room for improvement is definitely necessary for this situation.
@MarleyR I agree with you. If a person is unable to think that way, there is a chance that he / she might get surrounded with negativity.
@SweetDreamer69
Glad you mentioned the part about inquiring what you can improve on!
@SweetDreamer69
I like to see that you are open for improvement
@SweetDreamer69 Yes it does feel sad to not get something we were feeling enthusiastic about, yet it's so good that you will look to be patient until the required learning takes place for you to apply again once ready.
@SweetDreamer69
Hello!
It is really inspiring to hear that even though you would feel very sad about not getting a role that you applied for you would still work hard and take it as a growing experience. Sending virtual hugs! :) <3
@SweetDreamer69
There is a scope of improvement! Cannot agree with you more!
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I will look for more information so I can improve and can apply next time. Definitely initially it would be bit upsetting but looking it big picture it good to drive car when we pass the driving license instead of driving without it. As it going to damage oneself and other.
@blindHeart12 the drivers license metaphor is a good way of putting the situation into something relatable.
@MarleyR
thank you for appreciation.
@blindHeart12 Amazing answer ! You are on the right track
@blindHeart12 Glad to see your positivity and eagerness to improve!!!
@blindHeart12
Initially I would be upset, but then I would realize that I would have more time to prepare for the next time I apply. I would accept the feedback from the leader and work with a mentor to improve the qualities I lack in for the role.
@MarleyR
It's good to see that you are willing to work with people.
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
Ans: If I find out that I have not been given a role, I should try my best to respond as positively as possible. Maybe the role wasn’t the right fit for me! Of course, negative feelings will arise and healthy coping methods can help me through it. I could reach out to a peer supporter or try to stay away from cups for a little while to cool down the negative feelings. I shouldn’t let these feelings interfere in my path of improving and working on myself to be ready for the correct role at a later time.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Ans: I would ask them for constructive feedback and what steps should be taken to improve myself.
@cuteeeezombieeee
I really like how your answer has all the relevants points and is concise to boot! That's honestly amazing!
@cuteeeezombieeee
You have expressed your views very well!
@cuteeeezombieeee
You have really explained your answer very well. I am agree with you. And I really like that how you have focused mainly on feelings which can be really difficult to accept ❤
Asking for feedback is a great idea!
