Weekly Prompt #3: What helped you understand and accept your sexuality/gender identity

@ASilentObserver

one word - therapy

I didn't wake up/realise that I'm trans, I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist, it took me about 6 months in therapy to come to terms with that, the fact I'm also sexually attracted to women, which makes me a lesbian, is just a natural outcome of that, I didnt question I simply accepted the reality for what it is

I was lucky to be surrounded by accepting people, I didnt ask for anything else, simply that you treat me as a woman that I consider myself as, my personal goal, is not to the percieved and treated as a transgender person but as a cis woman, I'm far from it now, but once I get there I dont plan on revealing my gender identity to anyone that I do not deem trustworthy

For me, it was a very long journey, starting at a very young age. There was just something about girls I had never felt for guys, I am Christian, so it was very difficult having to figure out how to balance faith with being a lesbian. I tried to live without one, and it didn’t work, then tried living without the other, and it failed too, so I realized I was going to have to find a way to live with both. I tried praying, and reading the Bible, everything I had been taught to do in my faith. After struggling with the lie of “being gay will send me to ***” I had to fight off tons of stigma and hate and discover the truth for myself. I came out to my brother, who was very supportive. I had been just mentally strained because I had felt like I was living two lives and he really helped me. Less than a year later I came out to my parents, and they took it very hard at first. After explaining some of how I felt and how I’ve learned to “balance” my life, they understood too. There are still some things that they struggle with, and it can be painful for all of us, but I think they’re well on their way. :)

I first came out in the early 1980s, and I found community in books, magazines, bookstores, and lesbian music (Alix Dobkin, anyone?) Representation mattered then, and matters now. Those resources have me a frame of reference to grow into.

I haven’t accepted myself yet.

@ASilentObserver

I think that I am still coming to terms with the fact that I'm gay, but probably the fact that I never really liked girls(I'm 15 btw) and I really liked being around people of the same sex as mine

@ASilentObserver I was on vacation in Hawaii and I was watching a lgbtq video and one was about a trans dude saying how he had a lesbian phase but ended up trans. I then saw another video of a trans dude talking about his experience and it was very similar to mine. Then I sat around thinking about all the times I experienced gender dysphoria but thought it was body dysmorphia and thought if I truly was trans. Then after a day of thinking and researching I finally realized who I was and when I did I felt a tiny bit more free in myself and my brain. 

@ASilentObserver I didn't realize I was bi until my 30s, just a few years ago. It was super confusing. Thankfully my partner has been super supportive but I guess another big thing that helped me was just reading other people's experiences and being able to relate and not feel so alone or weird. Also realizing that straight people don't really question lol. Once I was able to see other people shared my experiences/feelings and found a word for it, that helped me feel more comfortable. I'm still figuring out how to navigate and haven't really shared or come out to more than a few people irl but I feel a lot more confident in claiming (to myself anyway) that I am bi 💗💜💙

Happy pride! 🏳️‍🌈

I'm non binary feminine presenting pansexual. It took me 32 years to come out to my mom because my family is incredibly religious. I dealt with a lot of backlash from my family and oh hey you’re an abomination, kind of stuff.. I finally have learned to accept myself and not care about what they think because this is my life, my journey, and I am gonna live it in my truth. well, the journey is still difficult, I choose to live my life on my terms and what makes sense to me. if they can accept that, that’s fine, I’m still going to live my best life.

@ASilentObserver

It took a while for me to become comfortable with being aroace, because people on the net aren't supportive of it. But, I know that it's fine, because what can they do?

I was lucky and raised by sapphic parents, so my moms were always supportive of my sexuality and I never really questioned being pansexual. It just… was a thing and, in my family, it was simply normal. So, back in the day things were pretty easy on that front. But back in the days of being comfortable in my sexuality, I thought I was cis.

Coming to terms with being not-a-woman, not-a-man, but some elusive third thing was pretty difficult. Is still pretty difficult, but I think what helped/helps the most was recognizing that it only is difficult to explain. To exist as myself in spaces not built for me in mind. When I’m alone or with my partners or my family, it’s not difficult at all. For me, that just solidified the fact that my gender is mine. Independent of what it’s societally supposed to be, what others wish it were. And that weird sense of owning one’s Self really helped me to find peace with who I am.

I don’t have a big reflection on the polyamory except to say that what really made me confident about it was something my nesting partner quoted while he was researching the concept. It’s kind of a household mantra now: we design a relationship that works for us. We don’t have to use the Disney princess template or the 2000s rom-com building blocks. He’s not Lindsay Lohan and I’m not Chris Pine, but it’s just our luck that we found each other because we both understand that it’s both stressful and unfair (in our opinion) to expect a single romantic partner to meet all our needs. We’ve been together something like seven years. Maybe eight, we’ve. Both forgotten the date, honestly. Been polyam and happy about it since about two years in.