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i feel a reflexive disgust/resentment when seeing happy wlw, especially wlw relationships (Tw homephobia)

poots234 June 30th

i think i'm pretty good pretty good at hiding this, (hopefully.)

but i can't help but get these hateful thoughts when i see happy lesbians/bisexual women. i get the urge to grab them and tell them, "what makes you think you deserve to be happy? you don't." and with lesbian couples, some part of me hopes that they're secretly dysfunctional and miserable.

but when i see sad lesbians/bisexual women, i get the urge to comfort them, because there's obviously nothing really wrong with us, and we should be happy. but some part of me obviously disagrees.

i'm not sure if i can stop feeling this way, idk what to do

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frostypatterns July 2nd

Perhaps this is internalized self-hatred, or some form of it. A lot of us struggle with internalized homophobia. Do you have these thoughts about yourself? Do you live in a bigoted environment? Why do you think they don't deserve happiness?

I had internalized homophobia. Seeing happy people in same-gender relationships didn't make me angry, but made me very sad and anxious. I hated myself for being a lesbian. These feelings went away as I started to read personal stories of LGBTQ+ people, watch documentaries. It de-mystified everything.

I think maybe if you keep interacting with lesbians and bi women, these feelings will change. Keep being empathetic. You deserve happiness, and so do they. You already want to help them when they're upset, that means you are on the right path. Think logically about why certain people don't deserve happiness in your opinion. Keep asking yourself questions, maybe even journal it, to make it more clear. Keep asking why. I assure you, at one point you won't be able to find an answer, because these feelings are irrational. Empathy and logic will help you overcome them.

Stay strong and keep working on it. Life gets much better when you realize happiness shouldn't be reserved for the cisgender and heterosexual people only.