Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Oh my god I am so scared of coming out i dont know what to do.

Im a transgender (gay) male and i am 99% sure I have social anxiety so that makes coming out 10× harder. I scared of people thinking im weird or just not being supportive at all, im not asking for them to go crazy just not brush me off like I dont matter. I want to even just tell my parents, but something that I dont even know what is stopping me. I would also like to get stuff like boxers or a binder but I can't really do that in the closet, or my social anxiety won't let me.

If someone could give a tip that would be immensely appreciated.

3
User Profile: Aayla
Aayla May 27th
@affectionateBeing3441 it's ok to feel the way you do, and you're definitely not alone, but I know it's hard to feel like that sometimes.
I'd say, first things first, prioritize self-care: give yourself time to recconect with your identity, even if you're not ready to share it with anyone yet. Experiment with clothing, hairstyles or anything else that might make you feel more in touch with your identity. People won't necessarily read much into it, maybe they'll just think it's something about the way you want to look, not something external rather than something with a deeper meaning. You can even consider buying a binder online and keep it hidden, wearing it in the safety of your home until you're ready to go out with it on.

As for social contacts, having social anxiety might make it harder for you to reach out to the queer community in person (like LGBT circles, associations or whatver(, but you can do it online for know, maybe sharing experiences and feeling like're not as lonely as you think will help you.
And then, once you're ready, you can try to find out who in your life could be more supportive by bringing up LGBT-related topics, not necessarily talking about yourself, just to see how they react. And once you figure out who's chill with it, you can start by coming out to them.

I'd tell you that strong relationship should not be affected by this, because they know and value you for the person you are and just want you to be happy, but I understand how scary it can still be. Feel free to reach out if you need to vent.
I wish you all the best!
User Profile: TurtleGirl96
TurtleGirl96 June 3rd

As for the boxers, you could try out some from the brand woxer. I am not trans or nb, but I have some because they are super comfortable and I love them!

User Profile: niceCamp7096
niceCamp7096 June 13th

@affectionateBeing3441Hi! I just published a book and  thought that it could help a lot of people. 

What if the person you've been searching for all this time is simply yourself?

🌈Coming Home to Yourself is a heartfelt LGBTQ+ self-acceptance guide for anyone navigating self-discovery, coming out, religious guilt, family expectations, faith, healing, and authentic love.

Drawing from my own experiences as an LGBTQ+ individual raised in a religious environment, J.L. Satori (me) shares the fears, questions, setbacks, and breakthroughs that shaped my journey toward self-acceptance. Through honest storytelling and compassionate reflection, I explored some of the most difficult questions many LGBTQ+ people face:

• How do I accept myself when I grew up believing being LGBTQ+ was wrong?

• Can I be both LGBTQ+ and Christian?

• How do I heal from religious guilt and shame?

• What if my family doesn't accept me?

• How do I come out on my own terms?

• Am I worthy of love exactly as I am?

Inside this book, you'll discover guidance and encouragement on:

- LGBTQ+ self-discovery and identity

 - Self-acceptance and overcoming shame

- Coming out and family acceptance

- Healing religious guilt and faith-based struggles

- Building confidence and emotional resilience

- Finding healthy relationships and authentic love

- Creating a life rooted in honesty, peace, and belonging

- Whether you're questioning your identity, coming out, healing from rejection, reconciling faith and sexuality, or simply learning to embrace yourself more fully, this book offers a gentle reminder.

You don't need to have everything figured out to deserve love, belonging, and peace.

Now available on Amazon 📖 https://a.co/d/0dmsS3A2

This Pride Month, give yourself permission to stop hiding, start healing, and finally come home to yourself. 🏳️‍🌈