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Should I come out to my parents?

User Profile: PicklesANDOcean4ever
PicklesANDOcean4ever March 13th, 2025

So recently I came out to my friends as a non-binary bisexual and everyone has been so supportive, but I don't want to come out to my parents for multiple reasons.

My mom thinks that only people who are legally adults should be able to explore their identity and even then its not okay because she thinks that it is a mental illness.

My dad is a raging transphobe who screamed for 20 minutes about the episode of The Babysitters-Club where there is a trans girl, when I was just trying to watch my show. oh he also made me turn it off.

so should I come out?

7
User Profile: thesingingfool
thesingingfool March 13th, 2025

I can't tell you anything because I'm 39 and very few people know about me, but I would say come out to them because someone in the community will let them know sooner or later.

User Profile: PicklesANDOcean4ever
PicklesANDOcean4ever OP March 13th, 2025

@PicklesANDOcean4ever Just adding something. all of my friends know that my parents are homophobic and are promising to not tell them if I don't want them to. I'm also scared they would kick me out if I told them

1 reply
User Profile: Kodiologist
Kodiologist March 13th, 2025

@PicklesANDOcean4ever "I'm also scared they would kick me out if I told them" — If that's a realistic concern then, definitely don't tell them. Your basic needs, like shelter, should come first. When you can bear their displeasure without threat to your material security, then by all means tell them if you wish.

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User Profile: Aayla
Aayla March 17th, 2025
@PicklesANDOcean4ever coming out is not mandatory and you don't owe the truth about yourself to anyone, you should only do it if and when it's safe to do so and you think sharing your identity will be more liberating than the burden of keeping it in.
But of course, safety always comes first. If you're seriously concerned that they might kick you out or cut your support in any ways and you haven't got the autonomy and means to support yourself yet, make sure to stay safe until you're in a position to support yourself without them, if it comes to it. Be safe today, thrive tomorrow!
User Profile: IsaSilver
IsaSilver April 1st, 2025

I cannot dictate you or your decisions, but I highly advise you not to come out when you are still dependent on them. The thing with parents are they have way too much power over you until you are of age, and that power currently protects you, not harms you. But the moment you come out, there is a good chance that that power will turn it's ugly head to attack you. So you should prepare for the worst if you do so (i.e. finding a safe place to stay preplanned that you should not tell them about, knowing what resources may be available for you, knowing what organizations are hostile to people of our community, and etc).

Regardless of who you are, safety is important so be intentional about how to protect yourself. Because homeless people generally will be unfairly taken advantage of and that is not a good place to be in, that is why I think coming out in your situation will likely hurt your prospects long term. Part of protecting yourself is to take good care yourself. Best wishes and hope you will be okay.

User Profile: IsaSilver
IsaSilver April 1st, 2025

I cannot dictate you or your decisions, but I highly advise you not to come out when you are still dependent on them. The thing with parents are they have way too much power over you until you are of age, and that power currently protects you, not harms you. But the moment you come out, there is a good chance that that power will turn it's ugly head to attack you. So you should prepare for the worst if you do so (i.e. finding a safe place to stay preplanned that you should not tell them about, knowing what resources may be available for you, knowing what organizations are hostile to people of our community, and etc).

Regardless of who you are, safety is important so be intentional about how to protect yourself. Because homeless people generally will be unfairly taken advantage of and that is not a good place to be in, that is why I think coming out in your situation will likely hurt your prospects long term. Part of protecting yourself is to take good care yourself. Best wishes and hope you will be okay.

User Profile: raccooncutie30
raccooncutie30 April 1st, 2025

@PicklesANDOcean4ever

No. You’ve clearly expressed that your parents aren’t safe people.