Yet another incel
Earlier I used to complaint a lot about not being able to make a girlfriend but I was often humiliated and judged harshly for that. Sometimes people gave advice "focus on yourself" which is cool, but I had been always really good in academic and have cracked really cool internships and jobs with very good compensation (I am 22M). Good at sports, excercise daily, can also produce some music.
I had been to psychiatrist twice and have been taking regular therapy sessions from professional psychologist for more than 1.5 year now. Journals etc don't seem to help. my journey was like: I want someone who wants me. Then, I want to get rid of desperation of wanting someone to want me. Then, help me learn to live with the pain that no woman might ever want me. But all attempts have failed. But the hurt is really painful. I got my next session on Monday. Sometimes, I feel like how can it be such a big deal, why would I care about this so much, why would I be so desperate about it that I can not see anything other than this. I wish I could live like a normal person.
@abrakadabragiligilochoo
I know. The journey is hard. And the pain is real. And you didn't deserve it, and it is not fair.
But I refuse to give in. I refuse to stop trying. I refuse to believe its impossible. Because I deserve it. And you do too.
Impossible spells I'm possible.
There are many more steps than I imagined, and it seems you are finding the same. If I had the magic switch I would give it to you. But I think the only way is to take each and every painful step, one at a time.
Yes. Thanks for the kind words.
Yes. Thanks for the kind words.
@abrakadabragiligilochoo
Though I didn’t realize it at the time, I had my first crush when I was about 7 yo. Ever since then I longed for a girlfriend but never got one until I was 19 yo. I believe what prevented me from having a girlfriend was fear, ignorance, intolerance, and a lack of gentle guidance.
Just having a girlfriend, however, never relieved me of my desperation for love. When you speak of “wanting someone to want me” I relate that to my desperation for love; therefore, when I stopped looking for love, I found elements of my self that had been blocking my pathways to love … eventually I discovered a peace within my self that emerged whether I had a girlfriend or not.
Perhaps your psychologist can help you identify what has been blocking you?
Feel free to reach out anytime.
@abrakadabragiligilochoo it takes a lot of courage to share your vulnerability and its commendable that you figured out what makes you feel the way you do. thats the first step to working it out. in a world where love have been misplaced to mean different selfish things. i understand how you feel. i have had a couple of persons both male and female who had opened up to me about this when they needed help. truth be told, you can get all you want. not necessarily easy but possible. sending love and peace.
@abrakadabragiligilochoo Just know we will be here for you every step of the way. You're strong and will get through this!