Daily Mindfulness Check-In October 25, 2021
Hi lovely people in the Mindfulness Community, how are you doing?😊
When we get hurt by another person we often tend to expect an apology. If this, however, does not happen we might hold on to negative memories, painful feelings, and thoughts which are a waste of precious energy and also delay the process of letting go.
However, letting go of what no longer serves us is healthy, it helps to feel free and in turn increase our energy and happiness.
When you feel hurt, it’s important that you take care of your own healing, which may mean accepting that the person who wronged or hurt you is not going to apologize to you.
💡 What thoughts help you to let go of emotional pain someone caused you?
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What I usually do when things start to creep up and negative feelings start to creep, I usually start to do something positive i.e I go to the gym, i offer someone some help. Even though I don’t feel it at the time , this would be the perfect time to push yourself and do something nice or positive. It helps !
@TimidMike
Nice point about helping others! It boosts our well-being and gives us this special "warm glow", it warms our heart and that helps to heal our pain.
@amiablePeace77 What thoughts help you to let go of emotional pain someone caused you?
Sometimes just a little half smile activates the feel good muscles in my face. That is easy or taking a deep breath.
@soulsings
Half smiles truly are good to destress in my view. It's hard to think about something negative when smiling, even if it's only a half smile.
@amiablePeace77
Wowzers Ami love this a lot.
💡 What thoughts help you to let go of emotional pain someone caused you?
I normally do not let emotional pain from another get to me. Now- this does take a lot of work daily and still I work on it. Also I am mindful of old past behaviors or go to behaviors when it comes to feelings.
I have not been in this place for awhile now and it makes me feel good!
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Nice that you keep working on staying emotionally as safe as possible Rumple, sounds like you have created a teflon mind which has great benefits by not letting harmful thoughts and feelings stick with you.
@amiablePeace77
sometimes
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Rumple, we are all learning and trying. I'm work in progress what concerns the teflon mind, not always easy but when I manage it's truly helpful.
@amiablePeace77
Wow, very good food for thought and practice.
💡 What thoughts help you to let go of emotional pain someone caused you? I hate to admit it but my first reaction is anger or rage. I really have to keep processing the offense over and over in my head. Then I keep a distance from the person until I feel safe enough to let go and tell myself it is not worth me making myself sick and stressed out over at that point I can release it but not forget it.
I know this is not the preferred method, how ever pinned in emotions get stirred up
and I find I disassociate which is not good either. Learning to process hurt is going to be an on going learning tool.
@scarletPear1945
I agree it's very important to learn to process the pain someone caused us instead of reacting with anger to it or escaping in disassocation.
@scarletpear1945
we are all different scarlet and it’s ok ! I tend to have the same problem, but I know with positive affirmations we can get through this. You are awesome the way you are you are unique and that’s what makes each one of us special! We all have a purpose. I love you
@TimidMike
Thank you for your validation. It is always nice to know we are not alone in our struggles.❤️
@amiablePeace77
So actually...I don't really have any thoughts that have helped me get through painful memories (yet). I just seem to have to deal with it until it passes. I seem to have a hard time replacing them with positive memories. Distraction has been my only help so far.
@cafedaydreams
Cafedaydreams, I believe we cannot always replace something negative with something positive. There are times when acknowledging the hurt and caring for ourselves can help more and if the memories are too strong even ask for professional help.
This is something I struggle with. The first reaction is to withdraw and isolate. There's usually quite a bit of dissociation. As hard as I try to process things I'm not really sure it's ever fully processed. It's more like it's studied and analyzed. I tend to focus on mistakes and flaws I have that caused the person to hurt me in the first place. Eventually I'm able to tuck it away somewhere only to pull it back out at a later date as evidence against myself. I also realize that none of this is healthy but I am trying to learn new ways of dealing with all of this.
@mytwistedsoul
It must be hard to always look at yourself first for reasons to be hurt by others, you take a lot of responsibility there. I'm glad you realized that this is not helpful neither healthy and hope that the new ways you learn to deal with this will help. Something I find is helpful is learning more self compassion too. This is a link to a video about the 3 components of self-compassion https://youtu.be/11U0h0DPu7k
@amiablePeace77 Thank you for your reply and for the link. In watching it I noticed that there are other longer video's that she has that I'm interested in watching. I do need to learn self compassion too. I'm discovering I have so much to relearn
Thank you again!
@mytwistedsoul
She has quite a few longer and also very good videos, definitively worthwhile to watch in my opinion. I hope they will help you on your journey to develop self compassion.
@mytwistedsoul
This is a hard process and @amiablePeace makes a good point. I think that some of these feelings of lack of Positive self come under what I think falls under that Negative Core belief that can affect us and our view of self-worth in so many forms.
Where the negative core beliefs begin at early childhood and can spill into our everyday lives if we have not examined what they are and ask ourselves the why's of the belief and the who instilled them and how to replace all the ones that no longer serve us. To me, it feels like waging war with an invisible enemy.
You are so sweet and caring to others ❤️ We love you
@scarletPear1945 Thank you ❤️ You're so right - it is like waging war against an invisible enemy - every day. I actually thought I was making some progress but then - there were things that had happened and I made mistakes and then I made an even bigger one by asking someone for closure. I'm not sure what I was expecting but what I was given as closure just cemented those negative beliefs further and I just can't seem to let them go. Even saying that here is risky. It is hard - I never really realized just how hard it is to let them go - to change them- even just challenging them
I would love to give you a big hug - your last sentence means so much - thank you ❤️❤️
@mytwistedsoul
Hang in there