Mindfulness Daily Check-In February 10, 2020
Hi everyone in the Mindfulness community. Hope you all had a good weekend. 
Maintaining relationships can be tough at times, we all do not always have the same opinions and beliefs.
When others cannot understand us, it does not mean our experiences, the things we feel or want or think, are not valid.
My question today is:
How do you handle Invalidation from Others?
If you are not sure how to react in this situation, imagine a friend feel invalidated and how you would respond to him?
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The initial insting is to flee, like from fire or a pain, the brain and body is programmed to get away from unpleasant or harmful feelings...
However, if I get invalidated I try to talk and find out some more. Is the person misunderstanding me, are they going through a difficult episode and taking it out on others, is it smth that person likes to do, to invalidate other people in order for them to boost their own ego and dominate and feel supperrior?
Talking reveals things, may clarify situations and understanding is better tgan jist reacting...
@beyondrepairs
I find trying to understand and clarify is always a good solution before "closing the door", it still can be closed if things do not change.
@amiablePeace77
Then there will be people who woukd love closed doors...if we get closed doors we learn to love them...
@beyondrepairs
Some people might, true, because of fear but I find closed doors limit my" range of motion".
@amiablePeace77
I meant I do not get afraid if I get a closed door, not the end of the world, can love to live even with closed doorsshut in my face...
Closing doors do not scare me...doors can be broken down...
@amiablePeace77
I usually get sad like any other human would and I just sort of shrink back into my shell and not interact much for the rest of the day. I also tend to avoid the person the invalidation came from. If it really hurt, then I'll cry about it and be really really sad. If the sad, negative feelings don't go away for days then I'll end up writing it down in my journal or something
@LexIris
Invalidation whether intended or my mistake always hurts. I like when you realize it's getting too tough that you put down your feelings and thoughts on paper, journalling is a great tool do deal with emotions.
Invalidation really hurts. I struggle with seperating my emotions from my actions, so I definitely need practice, but I usually try to explain where I'm coming from-- if that doesn't work, I seperate from the situation.
@betterchoices
It can be very hard to separate emotions from actions particularly when there are strong triggers. It shows strength that you explain to make space for understanding. Hope this link will help in your practice https://www.7cups.com/help-managing-emotions/
It hurts, I kinda just shut down and try and flee. I should try and learn to stand up or explain myself.
@Goldcherry2113
Hope that the self-help guides and mindfulness will help you with this. I believe invalidation is particularly hurtful when it triggers our core beliefs about ourselves.
@amiablePeace77 again thank you for another great check-in
How do you handle Invalidation from Others?
hmm sometimes this is harder then just breathe-but in a way it is not
Yep I said it right. I catch myself a lot on stopping to focus inner me. As sometimes it may be my fault they do not understand me. So if I take a minute or two then restart most of the time it goes well. Other times it is them that does not understand or can take my information in. And that is ok too.
Thing is we do not need validation for many things-more so finding a lesson or growth you done doing the right thing.
(my thoughts only)
@RumpleSteeleSkin
You mentioned a good point that we do not need validation for many things. The more we believe in ourselves the less we need validation from others.
@amiablePeace77 I love what you said here-
"The more we believe in ourselves the less we need validation from others. "
@amiablePeace77 I internally validate my feelings without reacting to them
I also may feel compassion that they hold such a negative thought in their consciousness which onlyi weighs them down.
@soulsings
Nice soul, whatever negative thoughts others have burdens them and not us if we don't take them on.
@amiablePeace77 If the person is my friend, I have this reserve understanding for that person. I know deep inside that person wants to understand how I feel. But i know it's not easy to relate to something at person is going through unless you yourself experienced it. If it's just a colleague or an acquaintance, sometimes I loose patience. Cause in my mind I think you have no right to judge me. Since in the first place. You really don't know me on a personal level.
@Jewelmoon17 I hear you. You sound like you are a very sensitive person.
Not everyone is that sensitive so it is not easy being in the world
@soulsings Thank you. Yes I am. Especially when I am feeling so much stress. I get annoyed easily, hurt easily. Sometimes I think of my sensitivity as a curse. Cause I don't want to always deal with the little bad things that some people always do. Sometimes I wish I can be a little non-sensitive type. Though sometimes it's a blessing cause I am able to read people characters. Which helps me decide if I can truly trust someone or not. :)