What to do when you feel unwanted
Daily Check-In: February 2nd to February 4th, 2026
In the fast pace of life we live, we can sometimes feel unwanted and unloved because everyone is busy with their own lives and may not notice our absence. We try our best to be there not only for ourselves but also for others; sometimes it is hard to do in one day.
Feeling unwanted can affect us mentally, physically, psychologically, and spiritually. The one thing these have in common is the unwanted feeling of a hole in our lives. We do not mean to ignore others or even ourselves; it is just that what we do in a day can escape our thinking or being there for others.
When we feel abandoned or neglected, it can have a big long-term effect on our lives, especially at a young age. We begin to say or feel our actions out: "I am not worthy of friends," "Why am I being ignored by loved ones?" and "I feel unloved."
Examples of feeling unloved or not wanted:
Most people do not like themselves; some people do not like, respect, or value themselves. This results in not having self-love. If we do not like or love ourselves, then who will?
Victim of pity: The more we stay in the fog, the more we will stay in a cycle of resentment. We need to focus on our inner growth and development.
Everyone is different: Just as we go on with our lives, everyone is different; no two people are the same. Soulful maturity is how we determine our capabilities. The examples of this maturity are forethought, compassion, self-love, and being considerate.
Filling the empty hole ourselves. We do not need others to fill our hole about feeling unwanted; maybe as children we may have needed help, but as adults, we can do it ourselves. Sometimes we may feel we need others to fill the hole, but we can do it ourselves. How can we repair ourselves from feeling unwanted? We need to re-parent the inner child we have in ourselves. We need to rebuild our self-love. We can build our self-love through hobbies, journaling, and keeping the existing relationships we have with others.
How can you rebuild self-love when feeling unwanted?
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@pamharley003
By changing my mindset.
By showing myself love.
By acceptance, and self awareness and realizing that sometimes people are just busy and it's not personal.
By being honest and reaching out to others myself 💙🤗
@pamharley003
I've just stopped for a coffee after an awesome afternoon walk in Spring sunshine. I'll pay this the attention your efforts deserve when I get home, just wanted to ask if you are a mind reader ? 🤪🤪
@pamharley003
@Amanda84
This i a tough one to answer and a pervasive feeling for me. In my case it is partly self inflicted for a combination of reasons. Breakdown of marriage where ironically both myself and wife let go of mutual friendships as neither wanted to give them reasons to take sides, heath issues made cycling to dangerous on medication leading to all but a few cycling friendships to endure mainly down to me grieving the passion I had for it and combined with particularly in the early post clot days being insecure over my own mortality and not wanting to be burden to others. I chose to self isolate to protect myself and others.
I am lonely but not for lack of self confidence or self love and have only really accepted that I was being suffocated by the loneliness, reaching out for help, being open for understanding, hearing from comments and feedback from others that it is helping othera too has boosted myself confidence and desire to improve my offline social life too. Early days but I am more mindful (long way to go, Pam thank you) appreciate people I do talk to and slowly spending more time with others.
Noticed some dates for local music gigs, a couple of regular gym members are checking with their families to see if they are free to go with me. Yes, Amanda84 I am listening to your wise advice.
@pamharley003 I was told growing up that I wasn't wanted. So I feel this way pretty often. I've been on a journey of self discovery. I do more self care than I used to and I push back on the negative inner talk. I'm better at making boundaries but still struggle some days with self acceptance. Baby steps...
I'm used to this feeling, always a burden, a part of me doesn't take it to heart and the other part does. But I try to double down and have fun, doing what I want to do, pampering, cheesy movies..
And reassuring myself that my needs are important too.
You can still be loved if you do not love yourself.
That's wrong if you say since you struggle with self love, then no one cares or loves you too.
That's sad.
and wrong.
It's very cliche and catchy so everyone says it.
Nobody should have to feel alone due to their struggling.
@charmingSky5972
Thank you for this, I have a friend I am gradually trying to convince of this:
'You can still be loved if you do not love yourself.
That's wrong if you say since you struggle with self love, then no one cares or loves you too.'
@RunningMachine i'm just sharing what i have learned from my own experiences
So apt
Oh I struggle with self image because I actually am very not nice looking. My face actually has scared off so many people who were interested in me before they saw me.
BUT
I really really like me!
I'm fun and childish and silly and full of wonder! I have just lots of love I want to share!
I'm also very charming and charasmatic and people very much do like me because of my personality! (I'm just not very datable I suppose)
I actually don't mind being ugly, and I sort of think ugly people are nice and I think flaws are attractive! Crooked teeth and wrinkles and acne and scars make a person have character!
I just wish more people thought like me 🌙
Thanks @pamharley003 ✨🙏🏽✨
I try to focus on myself more… I recently thought: “well it’s their loss” -I was asked out twice 2 very different guys, and they both cancelled for silly reasons… I did feel “unwanted” particularly because I was looking forward to going out with them… It hasn’t been easy anyway, I also “scare” a lot of people: my smile, achievements or ways to see the world “scare them away” and I am single - which strengthens the theory of “is there something wrong with me”?
Wish I could just work towards shaking that feeling…but sometimes I just get genuinely tired
@pamharley003
I've been trying to review the way I am... my identity, my senses, find joy in take time for self-care... so strange how just the act to take care of our dry skin with some lotion every night is kinda reminding me that I do deserve to be taken care of... it's not a waste of time... and that I can do it myself.
