Choosing Curiosity Over Comfort
If I'm being honest, building an open and learning mindset didn't come easy to me. I was raised in a place where "being right" trumped "being curious." For years, I shied away from things I wasn't competent at, dismissed opposing views, and took offense when someone pointed out my error—even if it was done in kindness. I believed learning was only possible in classrooms, not in awkward discussions or failure.
It wasn't until I ran into a few emotional walls that I understood how constricting that way of thinking was. I was frozen—fearful of change, fearful of being wrong, and quite frankly, fearful of growing. Something had to change. That's when I began leaning into openness. I started by owning when I didn't know something. Rather than pretending or dodging, I asked questions, I listened without interrupting, and I questioned my own thoughts.
The most dramatic change occurred when I ceased seeing feedback as criticism and began seeing it as a gift. That was the moment of mindset change that opened up so many facets of my personality and potential I hadn't even yet encountered. I learned new things, learned to manage stress in healthier ways, and had stronger relationships because I was now willing to learn and unlearn.
One thing that truly assisted was having a journal in which I'd write about one thing I'd learned that day—no matter how insignificant. Some days, it was something school-related. Other days, it was emotional development, such as understanding I was projecting my own fears onto others. It wasn't always simple, but being open changed the way I live, love, and lead.
Now, I really think an open mind is a superpower. It enables you to be able to adjust, deeply understand other people, and constantly update what you're about.
So I'd like to ask all of you: Have you ever found yourself resisting feedback or change? What got you to open up and learn versus shutting down?
Let's dive in—what has openness been like on your journey?
@ynvrtsm
You have clearly come a long way.
I relate a lot to the life changing realisation that my hurt and offended response to criticism was my problem. I believed that people who loved you shouldn't criticise. It was three stories that changed my view. One a Buddhist story about how we can chose which feedback to accept. And another about an "alternative to jail" program that ascribed its success to candid feedback. And a third that challenged the assumption that people who love each other don't lie to each other. And questioned, do you really want to hear the truth?
I decided that I did want to hear the truth, and if I did, I had to accept the pain that comes with it.
@Clio9876
Wow, thanks for sharing all those, those stories sounded pretty powerful to me! Especially about how feedback can be loving though painful... That hit. I used to think that; caring people should never say things that make you uncomfortable. But I can tell you that almost all of my most significant growth really happened in my life because somebody cared enough to be honest.
I respect so much how you reconciled that pain and chose truth. This requires courage and awareness. I'm glad this post connected with you; that means a lot to me 🤍
@ynvrtsm
Thanks for asking the question!
When I was a young adult, I thought I was very open-minded. I was liberal and accepted people no matter where they came from, what education they had, what job they had, how much money they made, etc.
One big problem: I felt resentful toward my affluent neighbors who had higher salaries and a higher social-economic status than me. From there, I judged them for their values, politics, and possessions.
My wife once pointed out to me that I was so angry at my father. And I told her, “No I’m not. I barely think of him at all.”
I couldn’t see how much venom I had stored up over the years and throughout my life.
So, what happened?
I couldn’t deny any longer how my life was a mess, especially in certain areas … and I found a group of loving and generous people (like folks here) who offered to help me understand something about priorities. For instance, it wasn't helpful for me (as a regular everyday citizen) to worry and prepare for disasters that hadn’t occurred yet ... or ... I learned that delegating a task is different than setting it aside with the hope it would go away.
How do priorities and time management relate to openness? I've learned to see it as all connected. My friends helped me see how my fixed ideas and my closed mindset manifests in all areas of my life.
@FaithfulScout
This sounds like a journey to acceptance. I can relate to your story. The idea that we can't make decisions and set priorities until we have accepted the current status quo, is really quite obvious, but actually hard to do. I'm still working towards that. I'm glad you have had success with it. Thank you for sharing
@ynvrtsm Thank you for your honesty, your clarity and your insight. I have learnt to be more open to accepting help, to accepting praise, to taking a compliment and to stop thinking I don't deserve it 🥰
@Amanda84
Thank you so very much for actually sharing that. The skill to accept help and compliments is such an important factor in inner growth. I know it can be very hard sometimes to believe we deserve kindness if we have not been used to hearing it before.
Isn't it beautiful to learn to open to such things? Getting the good stuff in your life doesn't strip away your power; instead, it largely confirms that you are human. And honestly, you do deserve it. So does everyone else.
I am just so glad this post really touched you 💛 Thanks again for the time you've taken to share bit by bit of your journey.
@ynvrtsm
Thank you for your post sparking me to open up, so nice to meet you 💜🥰
@ynvrtsm
One thing I like to say is, "Replace your fear with curiosity."
I mean don't skip over your fear to sate your curiosity by walking into a bear cave instead of safely and stealthily walking away as soon as you happen upon it. But, recognize when fear is getting in your way, and see what you can learn from it instead :)
@ynvrtsm
wow i really felt this. i’ve definitely caught myself resisting feedback especially when it touched a nerve i didn’t want to admit was true. it’s wild how “being right” becomes a defense mechanism when deep down you’re scared of not being enough. for me the shift started when i realized that staying in that mindset was keeping me small. like i was surviving but not growing.
journaling helped me too especially writing down things i misunderstood and what i learned from it. it was humbling but freeing. and yeah now i see openness not as weakness but as real strength. like you said it’s a superpower. being willing to unlearn and update yourself? that’s growth energy.
thanks for sharing this really resonated 💭💙
💜💜💜💜💜
💜💜💜💜💜
