Victim blaming!

@Amanda84

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@Amanda84 great question amanda ! 🥰 here's my non-victim blame guide 🤠

victim blame's : 

• why were you there?😧
• did you say no?😣
• why didn’t you leave?😠
• you should have known better...😡

non-victim blame's :

• i don't deserve that💜
• the person was in fault🌱
• my feelings make sense 💌
• i didn't cause this ! 😊
• i deserve safety 💕
• i didn't know, and that's ok! ✨
• i matter and my feelings matter too!🌴
• i feel sad and that's ok !🌼
• i'm allowed to feel this way.💌
• i did my best ! 💛

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@Amanda84

Food for thought, thank you.

Victim blaming is just a convince blaming bcz many can't face the truth and reality on their ownselves

So they just push that burden in you bcz yes that is convient for them

What we can do is sometimes nothing bcz that how bad it's

But yup we can stand for our own people comfort them and yes also this beautiful community is obviously there to back them

Show empathy and try to think of positive adjectives that empower the person to have victory over their situation. Remind myself that the aggressor could have chosen to refrain from the behavior but chose not to- it is not the victim’s fault that the aggressor made a poor and detrimental decision.

@Amanda84

Great post, Amanda.

So we need to be mindful and intentional with words that we choose. Words do matter, especially when on a support site where it is all words. We need to make sure we are not making quick judgements or asking questions for curiosity sakes. It is crucial to remember that these users sharing vulnerable parts of themselves are human beings and their trauma is real. We don't have all the facts and it is not our place to pass judgement on them or to give our opinions. Most of us are not experts and even those that are, on 7cups no you're not, you're a listener. Let's remember to only reflect, empathize, validate, and ask to encourage/support emotional exploration.

Hi, Amanda,

I saw this passage somewhere and thought it might be relevant.

Love and Courage,

Cal♡🌹