awakening to life but still overwhealmed.

Life can be very different when stuck in your head, in your thoughts, in your mind, this has been for me for a very , very long time or most of my life i think. not so sure,  what i was before and what I am now, for a long time i had had this problem to connect with others, to my family who felt so fake and so out of touch. And now I am again plug in into a device, I am writing this while playing soft music to try to connect with my emotions.  when trying to look on youtube i see only nonsense fakery fake crap. So this duality of being in your thoughts comes back , emotions or thinking, I start to get back in my head seeing all the traps of society like youtube, business etc to try to trick your emotions into making you think they care or feel, but deceive you . This thing of being present in the moment is so powerful ( playing   music on background to get in touch with emotions ). The last days i went out more and did more activities than before was more outside, barely at home, I did the process to apply for a Canadian visa to visit, did lots of sports, swimming ,cycling, weight lifting , yesterday also therapy and drawing classes, so is exciting from staying home procrastinating with tv shows and video games to pass to being like doing from one activity to the next . and i am super overwhealmed on like i want to do a lot of things, but one day at a time so i heard :) yay 

choose which music to listen while reading 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wa3YtelPO4 Horizon: Zero Dawn OST- Complete Soundtrack (music to relax while reading )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSa8BymA17U  AURORA - Running With The Wolves (Wolfwalkers Version) ( more relaxing music to listen while reading)