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Being good to ourselves

User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 June 9th, 2021

Do something good for yourself today - you matter! heart

Sometimes when we’re feeling depressed, anxious, triggered, or just stressed out by work or life, it can be hard to get back on track despite the fact that often we know what could help. So today’s question is:

enlightened Why is doing what’s good for us so hard?

enlightened How can we make it easier?

enlightened What are things you will do this week for yourself?

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User Profile: Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Sunisshiningandsoareyou June 9th, 2021
Helloo @amiablePeace77 , great post, thankyou 💛
I believe we refrain from doing good for ourselves due to a number of reasons, like not making time for ourselves, being too involved in everyone's life -- more than our owns , feeling like we are not " deserving " of doing anything good for self etc

We can start by being kind to ourselves, accepting ourselves and taking breaks and doing things we enjoy, spending time on things we love .

I'll treat myself with a good sleep and also then a movie probably ❤

4 replies
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP June 9th, 2021

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

I believe when we do we love it is so much easier to do the chores too. Good sleep and movie sounds great!

2 replies
User Profile: Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Sunisshiningandsoareyou June 22nd, 2021

Agreed , @amiablePeace77 , when we do things with love they don't seem like a duty, great always , thanks for the reply ❤

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP June 22nd, 2021

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

So true!

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June 22nd, 2021

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

Hey Sun! Hugs heart

We agree that it is hard when we all spend lots of time helping others, as you do lots Sun---and we mean that in a good way. You are so very kind to others. wink We so much want you to get to being good to Sunnie lots, when you need or want to.

We understand how it is to not feel like you deserve to be kind to yourself. Our host, also feels exactly that same way, Sun. Sun, have you felt this way all of your life? Our host has.

We hope you got to get to read and sleep. Those are very nice things! We hope you can find even more things you want to do for yourself and more things you might want to add in, if you have the time.
smiley smiley

1 reply
User Profile: Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Sunisshiningandsoareyou June 22nd, 2021

Aww hey @Amelia2324 , y'all are so sweeet , I really appreciate this reply , thankyou for being so supportive and appreciative. It is hard , yes , but we all try and trying matters , my warmest regards , we all got this , one day at a time . Biggest hugss and lots lots lots of love ❤🤗

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User Profile: soulsings
soulsings June 9th, 2021

enlightened Why is doing what’s good for us so hard? We are caught in behavioral patterns

enlightened How can we make it easier? Start to look at the routines we are in and see if they are helpful or not.

enlightened What are things you will do this week for yourself? I exercise every day to keep myself feeling good. Yoga helps a lot but any exercise is good.

@amiablePeace77
1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP June 10th, 2021

@soulsings

Very good points soul! Checking our routines for effectiveness can be an eye opener and yes to exercise!

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User Profile: raininglillies13
raininglillies13 June 9th, 2021

@amiablePeace77

enlightened Why is doing what’s good for us so hard? I would say... Doing things for ourselves may be hard because of being stuck in a pattern or routine and not having the energy to change it up

enlightened How can we make it easier? Maybe set up a goal and reward for acheiving the goal

enlightened What are things you will do this week for yourself? Find time for myself, make sure I stick to good habits and self care <3

Hope you are well!!! <3

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP June 10th, 2021

@raininglillies13

Setting goals sounds helpful to me to get unstuck! It's nice to have something to look forward too, it also creates hope.

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User Profile: shellofashell
shellofashell June 13th, 2021

You are so nice hosting all these discussions, thankyou!

Such a simple question but so full of meaning. I put my needs and care last always. Sometimes it's a depression "I don't care" thing. Other times I care, but I always think I'll have time later. "Let me just finish this first." Later never seems to come. It is an ongoing problem. And now that I think about it, it probably helps feed the "I don't care" cycle later. I failed at this big time today, and now it is almost bed time. But this gives me something to think on tomorrow. I'd like to make time for a movie!

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP June 13th, 2021

@shellofashell

You're so welcome!

We are so creative in finding reasons for not doing something which would benefit us but it's never too late to change . Taking time to watch movie sounds like a first step in the right direction.

June 22nd, 2021
@shellofashell

That was a good, honest, introspective reply. We hope that you can bring in things just for you, and maybe it will help with the depression cycle. We hope that one day soon, you can share some good, fun things you have tried, just for you.
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June 21st, 2021
@amiablePeace77

Hi Ami, we hope you like the color we picked out for your name. heart

Why is doing what’s good for us so hard? Our host, doesn't believe in doing good for them. They only like to do work things and take care of responsibilites. All of us, but, Kirk, have things we like to do. It is often hard for us to do these things because our host does not allow us to, refused to let us do them and gets mad at us if we want to. That makes it hard for us, makes us sad, and we get mad at our host about a a lot of this. They do not care that we want to do nice things we want to do and like to do.

enlightened How can we make it easier? Our host will never give in. We hope that our host has not ruined it again, so that we can work with our therapist where it can be easier.

enlightened What are things you will do this week for yourself? Not sure. You know how host is. We have tried to do somethings we have wanted to do that we like, but, it has once again created a big problem. Our host is confused and upset at us because we keep trying to do nice things we like. We are also mad at our host for always not allowing us to come out when we want to, do things we want to that are not even bad for them, and we and our host are all very sad about all of this. We are upset and sad at our host, as we believe they have again, ran away someone we wanted to help us who is so nice and kind.

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP June 22nd, 2021

@Amelia2324

Ugh, this sounds so tough. Having such a disagreement is challenging, hugs. I hope that with the helps of the therapist things will get easier in future heart

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User Profile: RationalMe7
RationalMe7 June 27th, 2021
@amiablePeace77,

"Do something good for yourself today - you matter! " is such a wonderful quote to read.

Let's now answer the questions.

enlightened Why is doing what’s good for us so hard?

Not everything good is pleasant. But, it's needed. Pain can also be good in some circumstances. The feeling of becoming hard starts when the pain is seen as suffering.
enlightened How can we make it easier?

By understanding that pain is not suffering. Suffering is chosen. And also by acknowledging that pain and toughness can be useful in those circumstances.
enlightened What are things you will do this week for yourself?
Take a break from work, reflect and organize my life.

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP June 29th, 2021

@alphav7

Thank you for sharing these wise words! Pain can truly be a teacher, teach us compassion for ourselves and patience for example.

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User Profile: glowingRainfall1086
glowingRainfall1086 June 29th, 2021

enlightened Why is doing what’s good for us so hard?

I think it's hard for me to be kind to myself because when I've made a mistake or I feel down about myself I feel as though I don't deserve kindness. I reserve that for those I think are "better" or more deserving than me. Also, when I feel down on myself I tend to think it's a waste to do what's good for myself, because in the end it won't matter.

enlightened How can we make it easier?

What I think might be helpful is a mindfulness practice I recently learned called "just like me." Recognizing that I'm no different than anyone else in that we all go through hard times and struggles. We all mess up and make mistakes sometimes, or aren't the best versions of ourselves in every moment or every situation. The kindness I reserve for others is something that I'm definitely deserving of, because I'm just like everyone else and they're just like me. Human beings. And if I can hold on to the idea that being kind to myself and doing what's good for myself often lifts my mood and gives me a better perspective and sense of purpose, I might be able to muster up the energy to do something positive for myself even if it's just for 10 minutes.

enlightened What are things you will do this week for yourself?

This week I intend to focus on my SHED: Sleep, Hydration, Exercise, Diet. I'm going to make an effort to go to bed a few minutes earlier, make sure I fill that water bottle, resume my 30-minute walk breaks at work, and cook a few meals for myself this week.

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP June 29th, 2021

@glowingRainfall1086

Thank you for being here and sharing. Sorry that you find it hard to show yourself compassion and kindness heart. I'm glad though that you practise mindfulness, the compassion exercise "Just like me" is truly a great one to remind us of what we share as human beings. SHED: Sleep, Hydration, Exercise, Diet is another great way to care for yourself!

This is a link to a video which I find very helpful too when criticising myself excessively The Space Beyond Criticism https://youtu.be/QGwuVe_QRNE


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