Being good to ourselves
Do something good for yourself today - you matter! 
Sometimes when we’re feeling depressed, anxious, triggered, or just stressed out by work or life, it can be hard to get back on track despite the fact that often we know what could help. So today’s question is:
Why is doing what’s good for us so hard?
How can we make it easier?
What are things you will do this week for yourself?
>>Add Name To/Remove Name From Taglist<<
@24x7Awesome @303315 @AddictedTealover98 @adocker @adrjust1 @adventurousfan @Ady23 @aifos1976 @AjanMalic @alexisj070 @alfalfasproutdeux @allyswift @alphav7 @Alwaysinpyjamas @amarifey @ambitiouschestnut9158 @ambitiouscity3124 @amiablePeace77 @amicableBlackberry1972 @AMusicalSilence @AnActiveListener @AnastasiaSmith @Andreawa @anonymouslistener23 @ArborealGiggle13 @arnoldziffler1 @artisaweapon @asilentobserver @Asimov @astray @Azalia1109 @babybenfin @badoinkitydoop @basty @behindhazeleyes @beloved316 @benevolentOrange31 @BetterTogether101 @BillyWilson @bk20102kb @blindfaith @BlueberryFriend @blueDiamond @BlueMossWeaver27 @blueocean @blueocean45 @bluewolf1229 @borderinline @bottomofthelist @bouncySeal96 @brainybrainy @brendenjensen @BridgetAileen @brightChestnut4066 @brilliantTurtle89 @brilliomturtle89 @Brooklynn @bubbleBalsam6602 @BuddhistDracula @busyemptymind @callforhelp @callmecaliflower @calmHero86 @caramelbunny @Catlover1993 @Char1otte @chayton @Chocolateandcakes @ChristmasGift @Claito @cloudySummer @colorfulStrawberry3048 @compassionatelistener108 @cookeybear @cosmicats @courageousCake401 @courtmarievibes @CrismsonLime6525 @CrissiArabela @CurrySoup12 @Cutelittlepie1 @Cyanapricot8399 @cyanWater7627 @decisiveOcean892 @deepblueCoconut000 @Deeperblue @diplomaticconfucious @diplomaticShade2167 @discreetOwl14 @discreetSquare2053 @DoctorWho11 @dtanushree @dynamicHemlock1736 @echovoice @elmira73 @emilyLanes @EmOnTheGo @empathicForest15 @EmunahHere @EnigmaForte @enigmaforte @epitium @equanimousCosmos @ErRoach @essdee @Evaparker02 @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @evie @ExpectoPatronumm @exuberantOcean6739 @faiirygiirl @Fairhouse @fighter23 @FreeSoul1417 @friendlyEars8792 @frozenmermaid @gentlePeace76 @ghofrane @GhostInTheShellx @girlygamerkilz @Goldcherry2113 @goldentown96 @gongoozlersoup19 @gracefuldeadlyswan @groundedexplorer @GusteeMoon123 @happydandan @happylove2611 @Harleemoon @healinghearts0718 @healingWhisper @HeckhoundBreaker5 @helpfulBranch221 @helpfulHuman4993 @helpfullBranch221 @Hereyzzil @honestplane3797 @honeypie720 @hopefulArrow2212 @hopefulnatural @hopeless104 @houserabbitsrule @humorouscamp915 @Hyacinth22 @Icicle0212 @IcyLight @imlistening01 @incredibleWatermelon1029 @indigoCup1959 @InfinityandBeyond23 @intellectualDrum3128 @interactivec @inventiveOrange1 @InvisibleAngel92 @Itsybitsyspider91 @Ivy229 @JasmineWhite @JayTheBird14 @Jenna0903 @JenSee @Joe2017 @Jonsi @JoyIntoDarkness @joyoussun45 @joyoussun47 @Julian2703 @justconfuses87 @JustLikeMellie @JustMarije @JZack45 @K87 @KACOSMIC @Kanzi @KarrotCake @keion @kevan @kirtokun0731 @klemen @knowledge57 @Kodachrome73 @KokoroHereForYou @Kumiko @kvo8 @ladibugca @LandOfHopesx3 @Learntolive @leothelittlelioncub1 @letspreadhappiness @LetsSpreadHappiness @LG22 @lia345 @Lifeislove123 @lightforlife @lightofhope89 @LilaGrace @lilboom9 @LilyLila @lilynoelle @Lionellinu13 @longing4peace @Lovejoy @lovelyWords13 @LovetoGod @maibock @marsmoon @Mellietronx @melliontm @MISSMEGHAN @MistyMagic @mistypanorama @mitch11 @motivationalhomegirl @MountainClarity @Musicismyfriend @NancySV1 @nans17 @natg @navyFarm1407 @NevaehRose @niceDaisy36 @niceLion789 @niceTangerine6642 @NoDramaBabyLlama @NoneTheWiser @NotQuiteBlue @nourrirvotreame @obie2 @Ohemdieldi @onerandomguy @Onlyonefollower @onwardforevenmore @optimisticRaspberries5247 @oxfordshiregatsby @P4ND0R4 @parisayano @passionateCircle3866 @peacefulLily4008 @peacefulwarrior10 @peachStrawberries1909 @penguinpower31 @peppermintlove @peterman @philispohicalShip9444 @PiecesofYou @Pininin @PinkDaisy83 @PinkMallow @pinkpurpleblue15 @Pinnae @piscesmoon @pizzalover1341 @pluckyAcai7322 @politeAvocado7234 @politecare2971 @politelychaotic @politeskies6536 @princessd @princessofcurcus @probius @psalm139 @psychespirit @PurpleNina @PurpleSnowflake2310 @rachelq @Raindrops00 @raininglillies13 @raspberry985 @Raspberrybeach @rationaltiger8083 @Ravenclaw7 @Rcusick12 @redLunch4107 @Rehan00 @reliableWater8763 @Reokiome0928 @resourcefulbear6750 @rezasophiea @RoninSelecta @Rosa9570 @rosesway @royalmilkbee @rumplesteeleskin @RynnTheBedouin @Sageypie @Saif1for1Resilience @sail46 @SaimaK @Santysan @SarilinaN @SavoyTruffle20 @scarletMaple3081 @scarletPear1945 @ScarletPear1945 @ScotchTape @seacastle @sealie @SecretlyMe @Seeker1898 @sendingyoulove @SensitiveApple @sensitiveShade5337 @SentientCozyTeacup @SharpiePen @ShiningSalamander99 @Shriya546 @Shweta555 @shy @silverIceCream21 @silverWillow1625 @singblue @Sk1ttles @SkolSuper1976 @sleeplessinmanhattan @Softforesthsp77 @softPoetry23 @soulrestorer102 @soulsings @SparklingSnowflake15 @Spearstar @starhawkemystery @stayingsanne @stillLavender24 @stillplanet @sujaypai @summertimesamness @SunFern @SunFlower @supportingearthangel @sweetlife101 @sweetmango91 @sweetMelody95 @sweetrosa1987 @Teresa416 @TheMandalorian @ThePersonYouCanNeverKnow @TheRoseHeartz @TheSciKid @Tiggergirl @tisjme @TrinnitysLight81 @tygo @Umbrella89 @Understandinggirl1990 @unkindloving @Vargasb @VickyP @victoriia @Violiness @warmheartedFarm7120 @Wawas @WelcomeToChat @westvirginia @wildcat85 @Worrior22Warrior @XxOgSpunBbygrl @Youarelovelyy @yzzil @zeraphim
I believe we refrain from doing good for ourselves due to a number of reasons, like not making time for ourselves, being too involved in everyone's life -- more than our owns , feeling like we are not " deserving " of doing anything good for self etc
We can start by being kind to ourselves, accepting ourselves and taking breaks and doing things we enjoy, spending time on things we love .
I'll treat myself with a good sleep and also then a movie probably ❤
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
I believe when we do we love it is so much easier to do the chores too. Good sleep and movie sounds great!
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Hey Sun! Hugs ![]()
We agree that it is hard when we all spend lots of time helping others, as you do lots Sun---and we mean that in a good way. You are so very kind to others.
We so much want you to get to being good to Sunnie lots, when you need or want to.
We understand how it is to not feel like you deserve to be kind to yourself. Our host, also feels exactly that same way, Sun. Sun, have you felt this way all of your life? Our host has.
We hope you got to get to read and sleep. Those are very nice things! We hope you can find even more things you want to do for yourself and more things you might want to add in, if you have the time.
![]()
Aww hey @Amelia2324 , y'all are so sweeet , I really appreciate this reply , thankyou for being so supportive and appreciative. It is hard , yes , but we all try and trying matters , my warmest regards , we all got this , one day at a time . Biggest hugss and lots lots lots of love ❤🤗
Why is doing what’s good for us so hard? We are caught in behavioral patterns
How can we make it easier? Start to look at the routines we are in and see if they are helpful or not.
What are things you will do this week for yourself? I exercise every day to keep myself feeling good. Yoga helps a lot but any exercise is good.
@amiablePeace77
Why is doing what’s good for us so hard? I would say... Doing things for ourselves may be hard because of being stuck in a pattern or routine and not having the energy to change it up
How can we make it easier? Maybe set up a goal and reward for acheiving the goal
What are things you will do this week for yourself? Find time for myself, make sure I stick to good habits and self care <3
Hope you are well!!! <3
You are so nice hosting all these discussions, thankyou!
Such a simple question but so full of meaning. I put my needs and care last always. Sometimes it's a depression "I don't care" thing. Other times I care, but I always think I'll have time later. "Let me just finish this first." Later never seems to come. It is an ongoing problem. And now that I think about it, it probably helps feed the "I don't care" cycle later. I failed at this big time today, and now it is almost bed time. But this gives me something to think on tomorrow. I'd like to make time for a movie!
@shellofashell
You're so welcome!
We are so creative in finding reasons for not doing something which would benefit us but it's never too late to change . Taking time to watch movie sounds like a first step in the right direction.
That was a good, honest, introspective reply. We hope that you can bring in things just for you, and maybe it will help with the depression cycle. We hope that one day soon, you can share some good, fun things you have tried, just for you.
Hi Ami, we hope you like the color we picked out for your name.
Why is doing what’s good for us so hard? Our host, doesn't believe in doing good for them. They only like to do work things and take care of responsibilites. All of us, but, Kirk, have things we like to do. It is often hard for us to do these things because our host does not allow us to, refused to let us do them and gets mad at us if we want to. That makes it hard for us, makes us sad, and we get mad at our host about a a lot of this. They do not care that we want to do nice things we want to do and like to do.
How can we make it easier? Our host will never give in. We hope that our host has not ruined it again, so that we can work with our therapist where it can be easier.
What are things you will do this week for yourself? Not sure. You know how host is. We have tried to do somethings we have wanted to do that we like, but, it has once again created a big problem. Our host is confused and upset at us because we keep trying to do nice things we like. We are also mad at our host for always not allowing us to come out when we want to, do things we want to that are not even bad for them, and we and our host are all very sad about all of this. We are upset and sad at our host, as we believe they have again, ran away someone we wanted to help us who is so nice and kind.
"Do something good for yourself today - you matter! " is such a wonderful quote to read.
Let's now answer the questions.
Why is doing what’s good for us so hard?
Not everything good is pleasant. But, it's needed. Pain can also be good in some circumstances. The feeling of becoming hard starts when the pain is seen as suffering.
How can we make it easier?
By understanding that pain is not suffering. Suffering is chosen. And also by acknowledging that pain and toughness can be useful in those circumstances.
What are things you will do this week for yourself?
Take a break from work, reflect and organize my life.
Why is doing what’s good for us so hard?
I think it's hard for me to be kind to myself because when I've made a mistake or I feel down about myself I feel as though I don't deserve kindness. I reserve that for those I think are "better" or more deserving than me. Also, when I feel down on myself I tend to think it's a waste to do what's good for myself, because in the end it won't matter.
How can we make it easier?
What I think might be helpful is a mindfulness practice I recently learned called "just like me." Recognizing that I'm no different than anyone else in that we all go through hard times and struggles. We all mess up and make mistakes sometimes, or aren't the best versions of ourselves in every moment or every situation. The kindness I reserve for others is something that I'm definitely deserving of, because I'm just like everyone else and they're just like me. Human beings. And if I can hold on to the idea that being kind to myself and doing what's good for myself often lifts my mood and gives me a better perspective and sense of purpose, I might be able to muster up the energy to do something positive for myself even if it's just for 10 minutes.
What are things you will do this week for yourself?
This week I intend to focus on my SHED: Sleep, Hydration, Exercise, Diet. I'm going to make an effort to go to bed a few minutes earlier, make sure I fill that water bottle, resume my 30-minute walk breaks at work, and cook a few meals for myself this week.
@glowingRainfall1086
Thank you for being here and sharing. Sorry that you find it hard to show yourself compassion and kindness
. I'm glad though that you practise mindfulness, the compassion exercise "Just like me" is truly a great one to remind us of what we share as human beings. SHED: Sleep, Hydration, Exercise, Diet is another great way to care for yourself!
This is a link to a video which I find very helpful too when criticising myself excessively The Space Beyond Criticism https://youtu.be/QGwuVe_QRNE