Do you believe this?
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. – Albert Einstein
Do you believe that when someone is going through a particularly dark time, it gives relief long term to reframe the traumatic experience and focus on what they are grateful for?
Do you believe that someone’s pain or challenges can be easily overcome should they only have a more positive mindset?
Look forward to reading your thoughts about this 
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@amiablePeace77 Do you believe that someone’s pain or challenges can be easily overcome should they only have a more positive mindset?
The brain is programmed to see things that are wrong. It is a survival mechanism. Recognizing danger is often seeing something out of the ordinary. I find myself preparing for things that do not happen but if it had to do with escaping lions, it is better to err on the side of anticipating danger.
The problem I get into when something traumatic happens is I continue to focus on it as if that will prevent it from happening again. The problem is that the more I focus on trauma the more energy I give it and the bigger it feels. So I do spend time with things that are upsetting but then I start looking for new roads to go down so I do not fall in the same hole every time I walk down that road (thought path).
Spending my life ruminating about the past does not make sense. The older I get the truer this seems.
@soulsings I relate a lot to this.
@soulsings
Soul, I, and some others have really enjoyed reading your reply to the post. None of us have ever heard what you said, "The brain is programmed to see things that are wrong. It is a survival mechanism. Recognizing danger is often seeing something out of the ordinary." We agree that seeing danger is seeing someing out of what should be ordinary and is definitey noticed as being so wrong, quickly. Soul, we also prepart lots for many things we think are fixing to happen, but, usually, fortunatly, do not happen. We agree that it is definitely best to err on the side of caution, especially if you already have such knowledge of so much that you've been through and know that can and does happen.
Soul, that is also interesting how you have thought about it in the way that when, "...something traumatic happens, I (you) continue to foucs on it as it that will prevent it from happening again." None of us had ever thought about that being a possibility for keeping to think about the traumatic things. We are still in a more fear/danger/threat mode. We think you may have progressed past this point, onto a higher thinking level of some of this. We also have been looking for different roads to go down to not continue our thinking patterns. We totally agree that continuing to "ruminate" as you put it, over all the traumatic things does not make any helpful sense at all and we have been giving that lots of thought and work as Amy is getting older.
Soul, thank you for your insightful, honest post.
@soulsings
It makes a lot of sense to me what you said about spending time with what is upsetting to avoid higher tensions and higher overwhelm. Often this is when explosions occur. Connect with what feels wrong and then looking for new road sounds like a good strategy to me.
I think this can get complicated based on many factors, like how long has the trauma been going on, or was it a single occurrence? What was their childhood like? What is their personality like? Different people have different levels of resilience.
I definitely think it's helpful to remind ourselves of positives and what we're grateful for. Maybe needs to be a balance, to make sure we're not ignoring our feelings and being in denial. I feel like maybe we need to give the bad thoughts a little attention to process, but not get consumed by them.
@shellofashell
Nicely summed up ;)
@Orthrus Thankyou!
@shellofashell
Also agree with you, shell, that it can be complicated based on these and many factors. You mentioned good, different factors, of, "..like how long has the trauma been going on, or was it a single occurrence? What was their childhood like? What is their personality like? Different people have different levels of resilience." All of this does create each person's trauma experience(s) so differently, and how they are able to deal and cope with it all!
Yes, also agreed that reminding ourselves of the positives make a big difference. We feel that a lot of positive things can come from a great many going through a great many traumatic experiences, and lots of these positive things can then be focused for the good of others, whether or not they have ever had any traumatic experiences or not. That we all feel so strongly about.
It sure is not good when you get consumed by all the traumatic, "stuff." You are so right about that!
Hi @Amelia2324 I love how you said that many positive things can come out of a traumatic experience. Perhaps we find strength in an area of ourselves we'd never imagined, or we're able to help someone else going through something similar. Thankyou for reminding me of this today. I needed to hear it.
@shellofashell
Many kind hugs shell. 
Hope that you find lots of positive things for yourself during your journey with it.
@amiablePeace77
This is a hard one to phrase ...
I believe there is danger in anything that is taken to the extreme.
Preoccupation with one's situation, for me at least, often occurs due to there being no immediate solution and/or resolution to the issue at hand and can become dangerous and pointless as all it achieves, is to keep you in a state of distress. In that sense, it's good to try and refocus on something positive instead and break the cycle of ruminating. On the other hand, doing so whenever you do feel distress, may lead to avoiding one's problems and fears rather than facing them head on when there is potentially something you can do to resolve the situation, or even just get closure over distress that is not possible to be resolved.
It's always better to strive to be positive, yet, for some that can become cleche and even painful to be constantly reminded of and/or berated over. Chronic states of physical or mental illness, don't have a permanent solution. For some, the most advice one gets from physicians is to just "maintain status quo" and to deal with the symptoms as there is no "cure". There is a limit to how much a person can put a positive spin on things or be greatful for what you do have and there are times where you just want ... or desperately need your heart to bleed on someone's shoulder.
That is the hardest part about having a chronic condition ... to try and explain to people that you can't explain what you are going through and it's not as simple as cheering up ...
@Orthrus I agree. I think sometimes we keep ruminating to try to find resolution so we can feel more in control, to not feel so swept up by the bad things that don't make sense or have a clear solution.
@Orthrus
Hi, yes, we agee it is not good at all to take anything to the extreme. But, also, what is determined as, "extreme, is a subjective thing and thus, so different for everyone. But, yes, the extreme in most anything is not for the good.
We also agree that Preoccupation with one's situation, often occurs due to there being no immediate solution and/or resolution to the issue at hand!!!!!! This is a big, true point to what we feel also. Yes, it is pointless in that it achievs nothing positive for any of us in any way. It does keep you in that distress state, wich involves so much. We agree that refocusing our thought to something different is a big key to getting out of this distresful state. However, right when you are in such a distressful state with trauma things, the thought process can not always just go to a postive thought change, and sometimes has to first go a change in thought to a safety "feeling," change. But, trure, a safety feeling is also a postive thought change and we get what you may have meant.
We noticed how you mentioned both of either avioding our problems/fears--rather than facing them head on, vs potentially doing something to resolve them. We are still unsure, at our point in working through our traumatic things, as to the best possible way/solution of these, or for other solutions to best resoluve the traumatic things.
Yes, we agree that it is always best, if possible, to be as positive as we can be. We agree with you that MDs do just try to maintain you at a, "do-able level," and out the door you go.
Yes, there are limits, we agree with you, that a person can place on just being positive and we feel that these, "limits," of being and creating positivity do flucutate within us, with what is happening, and so much more. But, yes, we can always do our best to try as much as we can to be positive. We feel, that sometimes, we get so deep within the traumatic experiences, that for us, we can't even get, "up," enough to think to even think about positivity. And, no, so much can not be explained to others about so many things. They just can not comprehend it all.
I agree with the wisdom shared here by others. Optimism and a positive mindset are great, but not always sustainable. Sometimes things happen and it's just hard or impossible to see the light - and that's ok. That's life. That's being human. It's about balanced awareness. Gratitude can improve your life, but over emphasis on optimism or toxic positivity (whether personally chosen or socially enforced) is unhealthy. If you only look at the positive, that means you're ignoring something else. You can't work through the tough stuff if you refuse to acknowledge it. That's on a personal, emotional level. If you're wanting to help someone else see the positive or reframe something for them, take a step back and rethink that. I heard this once on a podcast: You might have helpful medicine to give, but if they're not ready for it then it's just poison to them. I have learned the hard way from the giving and receiving end that this is true. I think this is because a lot of the ways we remind each other to be grateful, positive, etc. ends up belittling or invalidating the experience, which makes it harder to process healthfully. Better to hold space and listen until they ask for your input. They may never ask for your input, just your ears (or arms or shoulders). Being able to see the silver linings, blessings, and lessons from a difficult chapter takes time and reflection. It's the kind of thing you have to figure out yourself.
@MoonWithinMe Wow that's a pretty powerful idea from that podcast. So true. You could say the exact same words a year apart to the same person, and the words might mean something completely different to them each time, depending where they're at.
@MoonWithinMe
I agree with everything you said except the silver linings, blessings, and lessons to be taken from the "difficult chapter". I don't believe that their could ever be anything positive to come out of most trauma situations—especially childhood trauma—no matter how far past that chapter you are.
@amiablePeace77 I do believe in this 💯
Even if it doesn't solve the problem, it makes it easier to bear it.
@DonaldDraper that's true, it can make things easier to deal with as we go along.
@DonaldDraper
I believe so too but at the right time. To only adopt a more positive mindset, to practice being more grateful, to silverline experiences without giving them space can be upsetting if it becomes a dismissal of difficult emotions. All our emotions are valid and need to be heard.
@amiablePeace77
care about you all. sorry I can't reply more now. don't feel like going on
@Amelia2324
Amelia, you have been responding to many posts! Thank you for all your kindness you're sharing, time to have a break 
@amiablePeace77
we are sorry that it was so bad to respond to the posts. we will try to not respond to others so much. we are very sorry ami. we do not want to be bad to you or anyone. please keep telling us when we are bad and need to change. we thank you.
@Amelia2324
Amelia you haven't done anything wrong, what you do is amazing! I just find when feeling tired a break can help a lot.
@amiablePeace77
Do you believe that when someone is going through a particularly dark time, it gives relief long term to reframe the traumatic experience and focus on what they are grateful for?
I really do, this has happened to me a few times. I still sometimes tend to forget to be grateful, but I remember to be more than ever before. For example, losing a parent or parent(s), you realize you're grateful for your life that they gave to you. Another example, is the trauma people experienced in the pandemic, and natural disasters, I feel that it made people realize what they had (at least for me).
@raininglillies13
I hear you raininglillies13, sadly many of us only realize what they had when it's gone. Nice that practising gratitude helps you to take a more conscious way of living.
hi everyone 👋 nice to read everyone's ideas on the quote.
I think when I am feeling good my answer would be yes of course it's the best thing to focus on the positives. The reality is different when I am going through difficult times. My mind would want to discard thoughts like it's a miracle out as rubbish, at least until the problem is solved or the hurt is passed.
Perhaps calming myself down and distraction then it may feel acceptance of things. Taking on board that things happen for a reason and seeing the best of the situation but once I have been able to separate from the pain.
@xzy1000
Our mindset changes when we go through difficult times, what once appeared to be good or okay might feel then useless. Nice that you found your way by calming and accepting.
Do you believe that when someone is going through a particularly dark time, it gives relief long term to reframe the traumatic experience and focus on what they are grateful for?
I think it really depends on the situation. There are some hard times where it's easier to think about being grateful, especially in the moment. Gratitude seems to come along more so after some time has passed. At least for me.
Do you believe that someone’s pain or challenges can be easily overcome should they only have a more positive mindset?
I don't think it's really that easy to have or gain a more positive mindset, especially if that someone has depression. I've tried several times to tell myself: "Okay, think of any positive memory or thing" whenever I start negative ruminating, and it tends to take me a long while to think of something (sometimes so long that I give up). That's not to say we can't practise finding a more positive outlook. Even if it's just writing down one, simple thing you manage to think of.
@cafedaydreams
I agree to what you say, particularly illnesses like depression require more. We cannot just snap out of it by trying to tell us something positive, feelings want to be validated first otherwise we might end up with positive toxicity.
@amiablePeace77
Yeah. In terms of people who don't have depression, it may be a litte easier to look on the bright side of what's happening to you. Or you can get back up a little quicker when knocked down. It does still depend on the situation. Like for severely traumatic events it would take a lot more work to think positively.
I try and be wary of toxic positivity when I see it online. I personally don't think most people who push towards that are being intentionally harmful, though. That's why mental health awareness is so important these days. :)
@cafedaydreams
I agree to what you said about trauma, just being positive is not enough, there needs to be more, like therapy.
@amiablePeace77
Hi ami, I wanted to take a few days and get to a better mind set before replying to this and think that this was best.
Do you believe that when someone is going through a particularly dark time, it gives relief long term to reframe the traumatic experience and focus on what they are grateful for? I feel that reframing the traumatic experience takes time to where you are readay and reach that point and are then able to relaize so many positive things that you are now able to do for your life time. For ex., how much it has given to you to be good, understanding, and helpful to other, and much more.
However, with traumatic experiences, the earlier that they started (childhood) and if they also went on happening into adulthood, as mine have been, it takes many waves of coming and going from this positive reframed mindset you have been able to achieve, depending on how deep and how bad off you go, each time. Other, less server times of going thrrough the symptoms of all of this, are very much easier to quicker get back to your positive reframed mindset.
Do you believe that someone’s pain or challenges can be easily overcome should they only have a more positive mindset? Assuming you are also referring the pain/challenges of trauma/abuse, in my case with decades of it, it has been very difficult to overcome, due to lengthn of time of my life it has covered, and the tons of offenders involved. Sometimes, yes, it can be more easily overcome with a more postive mindset. Always, a positive mindset does help, but, sometimes, when it all has you so deep, you can not even see out enough to even think of anything even related to a positive mindset. Lots of what I am talking about relates to having years of extensive trauma/abuse, not just a single incident. There is a huge difference in this also.
I always try to be as positive, helpful, loving, caring, and good to others as much as I am able. I am also very solution driven, and looking for what is best and works best for who ever is involved.
@Amelia2324
It takes a lot of strength to cope with CPTSD. Having been subjected to ongoing traumatizing experiences in your life is extremely painful and there is no fixed time for healing, it is very individual . I'm really pleased you are able to share your thoughts here and hope it will help you with your recovery, hugs.
