Do you dislike or even hate yourself sometimes?

@amiablePeace77 Thank you for this topic! This is a wonderful question to reflect on.

Do you have times you don't like yourself or experience self-hatred to some extend and how are you dealing with it? If it does not apply to you, what would you tell a friend to do who is falling into the trap of self-hatred?

I think it's human to have times where we experience self-hatred to some extent. Sometimes, we hold ourselevs to high expectations and burn ourselves out, which causes us to feel like a failure. That's what I have felt in the past and I know many others who have gone through it as well. To deal with thoughts of self-hatred, it's helpful to know there is always someone willing to listen. Here on 7cups, we have listeners always here to be reached out to and chatrooms open for us to talk about what's bothering us! I also find journaling about what's been going on in my life helpful because I often find that I'm overthinking a lot of situations I get myself into.

Thank you for bringing up this topic, I'm sure this thread will help a lot of people!

I do. All the time - I think I've spent more time hating who I am and the mistakes I've made - then I've spent being ok with who I am. Tbh - I don't know how to stop. Everytime I get closer to just being able to tolerate myself I end up screwing something up. I can't give people what they want - need or deserve and they leave. No goodbyes - just me left to draw my own conclusions and it's painfully obvious that I'm the problem. So I keep to myself - no friends - no family. I mean - I have family but they hate me too - so I stay away. The dog likes me though - at least I got that going for me

@amiablePeace77

Just finished the meditaiton, 5 worthy minutes! Thanks for sharing with us.

Do you have times you don't like yourself or experience self-hatred to some extend and how are you dealing with it? If it does not apply to you, what would you tell a friend to do who is falling into the trap of self-hatred?

I do have a lot of self-hatred. Taking self-care time helps, time to just do whatever I want to do. Simple stuff like personal hygien is also important, eat enough food, eat nutritious food. have fun, relax the body and mind,...

No, I don’t think I’ve ever hated myself. It’s just not something that crosses my mind. I have however felt so low, so depressed, that these dark thoughts come out that don’t even feel like mine. In those moments, I might say I hate myself, but even then I’m lying. I think if I were to tell a friend how to help them, I would tell them to stay true to themselves. Like, you can’t regret anything if you believe in what you do. Even if you make mistakes, as long as your intentions are good, then IMO, you can’t hate yourself. This doesn’t mean never tell lies or anything, just do what’s best for you. Protect yourself with a white lie if you need to, and when you need to be honest, then be honest. I truly think that some people are naturally good natured from their environment from childhood, and others are more angry and maybe don’t know how to be the person they want to be. For those people, I can’t speak to them, but I would guess that overtime your past will catch up to you, so might as well do your best now. Self hatred is something foreign.

@amiablePeace77 If it does not apply to you, what would you tell a friend to do who is falling into the trap of self-hatred?

Be kind to yourself. Let go in your mind of the traumatic people you knew in the past that disappointed your expectations. Don't fall into the traps they used to place in your way. You were right to stand your ground, but now let go and try to not react to the critical voice inside or let it run the show.

Ask "What did I do right?"

Yes I do, it happened this week after I got into a argument with a loved one. I tend to go into overdrive with negative thoughts, feel guilty and think about if I will ever be able to be a better person and how? Being in lockdown hasn't helped at the moment as the environment is the same so reminds you of the negative event or thoughts more than usual. Doing self-care and distraction techniques like going outside helped reduce the negative thoughts.

For me, it's more like I hate certain parts of myself rather than my whole self. There are times throughout the day where I wish that I was this way or that way, that I didn't take a certain situation so seriously, that I wasn't so emotional, that I was more outspoken, etc. I have many traits that I think of that I wish I could have, but that just aren't manifesting in myself the way I'd like. So that gets me down a lot of the times and self-loathing can definitely take root that way.

In terms of self-loathing due to bullying, though, I think I have moved past remembering what bad things others have done to me, and it doesn't get me down a lot of the times anymore. That's a big improvement.

lost that post. I had worked hard on it too. they keep working on construction in the neighborhood and the internet has been flickering for 2 days, off and on, in seconds.

It can help to ask yourself out loud “How am I benefitting from self-hatred?” I hate myself each and every day, all the time. I know that I am bad and deserve to be hated. I need to keep knowing this and remembering this. If I do not know this always, I will slip up and they will again attack me. They always attack you and there is nothing you can ever do. I am the cause of all of this. I have to keep hating myself for causing all of this and all of them to do this.

“What would be better?” It would be better if I were better and didn't deserve to be so bad all the time. It would be better if I have not been the ways that I have been. I would be better if I had not trused them or if I had known what was going to happen before it happened. Maybe then, I wouldn't have been so bad and been caught, I was bad to cause them all, I was bad to anger them so much and cause it all, night after night, until they wore out, I do not know whay I caused the rapes, but, I did and do not know how to not cause more of them to do it again. I am and always will be bad and there is no other way to be.

“How much sense does it make rehashing the unchangeable past?” We do not want to rehash the past and wish it would all just go away. We do not want to be bad. we need to work to change us all and when we can all get it right and change us all to know and do better, then, it will be better.

Do you have times you don't like yourself or experience self-hatred to some extend and how are you dealing with it? We always do not like us, hate us, and amy is really a wimp and takes so much. we all know we are bad and no good. we try to keep us all safe and not get abused.